Profile Advice

[Deleted Member]

Hello everyone, in the interest of broadening my appeal on Fet, I'm looking for constructive criticism on how to improve the text in my profile to appeal to more men that are compatible with me. I'm aware I need more, better, clearer photos in better lighting which I plan to improve on, but until then I want to know if there's any improvements I can make in the text portions of my profile? I have attempted my best on my own but now I am interested in seeking others advice. I made my profile a little strict in my introduction because I got to many messages from men seeking things that I don't want or don't match with. I'm not sure if its simply that I'm seeking dating with men who are into bdsm and most men here only want something sexual without dating? Thank you all in advance.

[AKA_Copper]

I took a look and would make the following suggestions
It's a really long read (mine is too!) Many won't bother reading it in it's entirety. Make it as easy for them as you can for example,
Break up your paragraphs by adding a full stop after each one like this...
.
Move your limits to the actually limits area rather than in the main bulk of your description
.
Your jokes whilst comical contradict your description of what you're looking for.
.
I like your headings, the fact that you've identified who you are and what you're looking for

[mr****]

Shorten it when I saw how long it was I couldn’t be bothered to read any of it

[Deleted Member]

CopperKnob gave good tips.👍👍

Edited January 31, 2023 by Deleted Member

[Ms****]

From my own experience on here I think men in general respond better in a role playing type scenario so I try to keep it fun but also talk about the kinky stuff and certainly include details when texting!!

[Deleted Member]

Hey I just wanted to say your profile description looks great!

It is a lot, but that's ok because the first sentence makes it VERY clear what you are looking for.

As for solutions for men to not be so sexual towards you, I'm sorry about that, some guys are just so desperate, and they unfortunately do not read bios :(
I wish we all would out of respect of the person we're contacting, but unfortunately many just don't.

I wish I could give you a solution on how to help that, but I cannot unfortunately. We dudes are just... ugh. Lol. I hope you get great matches and find exactly who you're looking for!

[AKA_Copper]

23 minutes ago, mrb2 said:

Shorten it when I saw how long it was I couldn’t be bothered to read any of it

A lengthy bio can be a tactic, disuading those who can't be bothered to read a profile from messaging. If someone can't take the time to read my about me, there's no intention to get to know me so there's no reason for that type to send a message

[Deleted Member]

I’d echo all of the above. 👍 Your sense of humour is top though - the jokes had me laughing. The stuff you’ve had to contend with is pretty outrageous though..well done you for standing up 👍👍

[mr****]

22 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

A lengthy bio can be a tactic, disuading those who can't be bothered to read a profile from messaging. If someone can't take the time to read my about me, there's no intention to get to know me so there's no reason for that type to send a message

I totally agree with what you’re saying but there has to be a balance I would be more interested in someone who has something to say and has a interesting profile but I’m not interested in reading a Jane Austen novel and I probably wouldn’t engage with someone with a very short profile either

[Deleted Member]

I’d say much of what others have said. It’s a lengthy bio for sure but everything is put out on the line for everyone to know and that’s a good thing. There is no confusion as to what to expect or not expect.

My only advice I can give is be you. If anyone can’t accept who you are as an individual and how you feel about yourself, they don’t deserve to be in your life to begin with.

Happy hunting and I hope I was able to help out.

[To****]

43 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

A lengthy bio can be a tactic, disuading those who can't be bothered to read a profile from messaging. If someone can't take the time to read my about me, there's no intention to get to know me so there's no reason for that type to send a message

Doesn't that take some of the fun it off it? Surely you want to say enough to filter out the basics but leave enough to be able to have a conversation? Otherwise anything they ask about you will just end with "you didn't read my bio".

[AKA_Copper]

6 minutes ago, Toxic_Meerkat said:

Doesn't that take some of the fun it off it? Surely you want to say enough to filter out the basics but leave enough to be able to have a conversation? Otherwise anything they ask about you will just end with "you didn't read my bio".

Precisely. It also helps me to filter out those messages where the individual suggests that they read my profile in it's "ENTIRETY" (actual quote) because that stinks of someone who found it tedious to do.
If spmeone doesn't have the patience to spend less than 10mins reading my profile they aren't going be patient generally for conversation let alone friendship or anthing more

[su****]

First of all I think you're fucking hilarious. Secondly I agree that a lengthy profile weeds out more men seeking help with archeology. Third, holy shit I need to add a lot of stuff to my hard limits section that I didn't know were things people were interested in.

No advice on things unfortunately because I am super up front and it's a lot for a lot of men on here. It also weeds people out faster 😂

I've noticed there's a lot of predators masquerading as Doms on here. Be careful. 💜

[ey****]

for profile length

in general I would say to make it brief but make it count.   

however

if you do go for a longer profile, if someone is genuinely interested in you, they will read it.  Because of this, anyone asking questions answered on the profile wasn't interested enough to look for the answers. (I mean, a little benefit of the doubt could be nice, but if it gets to a 2nd or 3rd you already answered...)

If someone is interested and feels that having this info removes a conversation point, I don't agree.  "I can see you like x, I also like x, here are some of my thoughts about x" 

[Da****]

I would not recommend following the example of my profile but I kind of touched on all my bad points so nothing would be a surprise to anyone further down the line but I tried to do it with a humorous twist. the main thing I can recommend if you're trying to catch men's attention, be explicitly Direct. Be clear and concise about your intention for a relationship ,we like that. believe it or not, we're not mind readers. The length of your profile is an argument I can go either way on too long and it will be where people don't read it but if it's entertaining enough then it'll be appreciated by those who do which might net you a higher quality character. There's the Goldilocks length that I think everyone just has to figure out for themselves depending on what they have to say. best of luck to you

[Da****]

Neglected to include the fact that your profile is extremely direct and detailed I can't say I've read one that was better

[Deleted Member]

Thank you all for the advice, as my first improvement to my profile, I've taken CopperKnobs advice and made sections instead of just one large text. I actually had my profile in sections already but the app doesnt allow it, it just makes entire paragraphs look like they are in the same paragraph still, and so we have to do it instead in the way CopperKnob mentioned. The limits actually already are in the limits area, it just didn't appear that way due to the paragraph issue. I realize the jokes are a little contradictory but that is actually my sense of humor, I wonder if theres a better way to go about it without removing them.

[Deleted Member]

As for those who don't like to read long profiles,I actually use it as a filter because as Copperknob stated, if someone isnt willing to read it, they arent willing to get to know me on the level necessary for dating purposes. If I wanted a hookup or fwb then sure a short profile may suffice. I'd actually love to include an audio section where I simply read aloud my entire profile for someone to listen to instead, however I don't think Fet allows such a thing, for instance I don't think were allowed to post links..

[fo****]

Hey. I agree you are hilarious. But I suggest maybe a little streamline. Leave something out for conversation. Obviously get the assholes out and like you said, no online bs. But it's just extremely long and I was intimidated by it as a person that was just reading it to see if I had any advice, not to see if I would be interested in you.

Also, looking for a kinky boyfriend I think is a smart move, currently looking for a kinky girlfriend myself, but it seems to be uncommon so it might just take a while. Hang in there hun and just be careful. Alot of creeps on here.

[Pa****]

1 hour ago, fort-scott890 said:

Hey. I agree you are hilarious. But I suggest maybe a little streamline. Leave something out for conversation. Obviously get the assholes out and like you said, no online bs. But it's just extremely long and I was intimidated by it as a person that was just reading it to see if I had any advice, not to see if I would be interested in you.

Also, looking for a kinky boyfriend I think is a smart move, currently looking for a kinky girlfriend myself, but it seems to be uncommon so it might just take a while. Hang in there hun and just be careful. Alot of creeps on here.

If you're having a hard time finding kinky women you aren't looking very hard, Now finding a compatible partner for a relationship and d/s dynamic. That can be difficult. Key word being compatible. Highly recommend checking out munches and just meeting people.

[fo****]

7 hours ago, Pandorite said:

If you're having a hard time finding kinky women you aren't looking very hard, Now finding a compatible partner for a relationship and d/s dynamic. That can be difficult. Key word being compatible. Highly recommend checking out munches and just meeting people.

Go look at my profile, look at my sent and rcvd messages then tell me I'm not trying hard enough.

[AKA_Copper]

1 hour ago, fort-scott890 said:

Go look at my profile, look at my sent and rcvd messages then tell me I'm not trying hard enough.

How hard we try isn't really a numbers game though.
I'd suggest that those that send 100 msg's a week aren't actually trying.
And no, I didm't check our your sent/rec'd figures

[fo****]

45 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

How hard we try isn't really a numbers game though.
I'd suggest that those that send 100 msg's a week aren't actually trying.
And no, I didm't check our your sent/rec'd figures

That's just it. Every first message iv sent was personal to the person I sent it to. Most are either ignored or no reply and only about 1/4 of those that read them look at my profile. Im not bothered by those because it means I didn't catch their interest.

[ey****]

I have had the conversation before - but in terms of *trying*

posting a classified is not trying.   mass messaging women is not trying.

it's certainly low effort when there's barely a profile

continuous improvement is trying, increasing your own knowledge is trying, going out to community events is trying

[Deleted Member]

☝️ is a whole different thread.