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Obedience vs. Proactivity

Sp****

By Sp****
in Kink Academy

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Sp****

Sp****

Posted
Dominants: Would you rather direct all of Your submissive’s actions in service to You, or have one that proactively anticipates Your needs and performs actions accordingly.

Deleted Member

Posted
The second when u have a sub that knows what u want when u want it a relationship couldn't be any closet then that
un****

un****

Posted
there is a certain allure to being in control of everything of course however micromanaging like that is extremely tedious and can burn me out fairly fast i rather focus on teaching new things and giving reminds for things like food, pills, water etc and rein*** it with a reward and punishment system its much more effective in the long term
Se****

Se****

Posted
That’s a great question and really got me thinking. For me, the ideal is a combination of both. And through experience my subs understand which is which.

Deleted Member

Posted
A bit of both. It’s the best when a sub knows when to be proactive and when to wait for a command
Ob****

Ob****

Posted
My aim is to always help my sub shine. I'm a light-and-high- vibration DD. Different subs and lg's are in different places, need different things, want to shine in different ways. lg's have more of a need to do setups to fit their criteria (psychological and so on) and i do more, open-endedly there.

However, If you're a sub, a true sub, then for me you've just got to submit, and constantly fold your submission into more submission, and then more. Feel that drunken giddiness. I'll drive.

The role of the Devine Feminine is to outplay every last wish of the Divine Masculine (note these do not refer to men and women in any sort of defined way!) and to do it from a place where it doesnt innitiate. It brings its lustre by the folded submission, the love... Really... In HOW it performs the outplaying.

Of course, (not answering the question, i realise but completing the story) the role of the Divine Masculine is to entice the Divine Feminine to 'dance' and to fold and fold again (i mean 'fold' as you might to make a souffle) by remaining so present and connected, that the Divine Feminine doesn't wish to do anything else. Like the dancing cobra and the flute player.

Deleted Member

Posted
I prefer proactive. Anticipating my next move is a very hot maneuver. But, I have been open to “teaching” some newer community members. So if they are newer, or course full direction would be provided
Ar****

Ar****

Posted

If it has to be one or the other then it's got to be proactive anticipation, in a similar way to how I feel I'm a better Dom when I know and can anticipate my partner's needs.

I'm reminded of a compatibility question I completed on a dating site some years ago, it related to how much talking/communication was the ideal amount in a bedroom scenario. I think the options were something like none, a little, a lot, or just enough to get things right. I liked that last option.

ge****

ge****

Posted
3 hours ago, DanTienDomD said:
My aim is to always help my sub shine. I'm a light-and-high- vibration DD. Different subs and lg's are in different places, need different things, want to shine in different ways. lg's have more of a need to do setups to fit their criteria (psychological and so on) and i do more, open-endedly there.

However, If you're a sub, a true sub, then for me you've just got to submit, and constantly fold your submission into more submission, and then more. Feel that drunken giddiness. I'll drive.

The role of the Devine Feminine is to outplay every last wish of the Divine Masculine (note these do not refer to men and women in any sort of defined way!) and to do it from a place where it doesnt innitiate. It brings its lustre by the folded submission, the love... Really... In HOW it performs the outplaying.

Of course, (not answering the question, i realise but completing the story) the role of the Divine Masculine is to entice the Divine Feminine to 'dance' and to fold and fold again (i mean 'fold' as you might to make a souffle) by remaining so present and connected, that the Divine Feminine doesn't wish to do anything else. Like the dancing cobra and the flute player.

That was beautiful.

Deleted Member

Posted
I prefer proactive initiative based on his knowledge of my needs and desires.
BruiseWayne

BruiseWayne

Posted

I love love LOVE a submissive who does things proactively.

 

Anything they want to do unprompted or unsolicited in service of my pleasure really excites and entices me. Nothing will get a hold of my attention faster than a surprise act or gesture of submission. So not only do I welcome it, I actively encourage it.

 

These things aren't mutually exclusive of course, but if we''re choosing one over the other as much as I enjoy telling a sub exactly what, how, where, and when they're going to do a thing I'd take proactively anticipating my desires over that pretty easily.

ey****

ey****

Posted

I don't mean to project - but - I think in general proactive subs are more desirable (even if a lot of subs end up focusing on their obedience "I'll do anything", etc)

 

Du****

Du****

Posted
Definitely a bit of both. Returning home to find my submissive has proactively prepared it's always great, but also giving direction followed by praise or punishment is a big part of the dynamic for me.
  • 4 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Co****

Co****

Posted
DanTienDomD.......as a High Vibe Sub early in my journey in these delights, I also like what you ve written . Particularly the last part.......' by remaining so Present and connected, that the Divine Feminine doesn't wish to do anything else.
Like the dancing Cobra and the Flute player '

To me this is

.....Creating Balance and Unifying our inner Masculine and Feminine.
We have both in all of us.

It must be the Ultimate dance, and be Wonderful.
A play of Power Dynamics.......resulting in this merger, Unification, and Balance......
Ob****

Ob****

Posted
Thank you for your comment on my response, @CosmicAngel. And I agree with your sentiments about balance, unifying the feminine and masculine and the play of the power dynamic.
..
There must be balance in each constituent part, but there also has to be some bigger differential to create the polarity. This is made so by opposites, to get the swirly stuff to take place. And it's beautiful. And it's powerful. It's the power of creation, really. And it's sexy, and it's messy, and it's broody and textured with dark and light, with sweet and salt, with *** and bone AND divine stardust.
..
And no, the role of the feminine, of the snake, is not lower in importance, and yes, the masculine, the flute player, does have a duty.
..
Enjoy your journey x
Co****

Co****

Posted
DanTienDomD ........Thankyou for your reply, Very descriptive, I get what you mean re....the Polarity......
So where does Tantric Sex come in?
Another type of play i guess..........
I m all questions 😄

Enjoy your journey too x
Ob****

Ob****

Posted

That's all I've got @CosmicAngel... Granular description and first hand experimentation. And lots of firsthand errors too.
..
Who knows re:tantric sex. It will take someone much wiser that me to be able to help you with that. But keep asking great and better questions and it's going to come to you for sure.
..
Thank you. 💃🌸 Xx

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