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How to deal with rejection?

purplepie

By purplepie
in Kink Academy

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purplepie

purplepie

Posted
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Sometimes a simple NO can cause enormous ***, and accepting rejection may not be an easy process. 💔 If you've ever been rejected, how did you handle it? What advice would you give to someone who is having a hard time moving on?

EN_Forum_Rejection.png

  • 2 weeks later...
ro****

ro****

Posted

you just gotta have thick skin. Keep on keeping on. or you can look at it as you gotta kick alotta coal before you find a diamond. or you can equate it to sales it takes 10 NO'S to get one YES
Know Your Worth
K.I.S.S Keep it simple stupid ....
or the best one yet f**k 'em it's their loss
🖤💀🔥😈🤷‍♂️🐷☠️

Yo****

Yo****

Posted
Frame it in your mind as you not losing out on the other person, rather the other person not getting a chance to better know/have fun with you 😊😇
ca****

ca****

Posted
Depends when it occurs
When you get rejected after revealing something new about yourself that makes them change their mind that's hard to take but also it's just part of life so have to suck it up and move on
You can't be for everyone
Rejection from the outset can be disappointing but very easy to take and you just move on
do****

do****

Posted
Just move on. Everyone isn’t going to like you. Deal with it , don’t be a baby about it.
Ki****

Ki****

Posted
I just don’t take anything personal I figure hey that’s them I respect your space and just MoveOn. There’s more apples on the trees.

Deleted Member

Posted
Ok this is just my opinion and experience. Everyone is different in how they deal with rejection.

So not going to flower my words here. I hope my opinion doesn't offend others. If it does...

Now that statement can be rejected. Your entire being can only be rejected by yourself.

Wind back to my youth... being rejected was difficult and I would lash out verbally and make a scene. How dare you not like me etc etc. In the end that behaviour in of itself assured my rejection not just as a partner but any form of relationship.

The why does nobody like me mentality is rife in society. Guess what you aren't the only one. You don't like yourself.. you reject yourself, who you are... people pick up on that.

So two ways to deal with rejection.
Number one is just don't try, don't even bother with putting yourself out there... maybe if your lucky someone will find you.

Number two is keep trying again and again... constantly being rejected until rejected doesn't even matter.

Both these aren't healthy ways.
Number two is where I am at.
Couldn't give two hoots at this moment about rejection. It like my rejection nerve is gone completely. Yes I still get sad yes I still have that spark of anger. I just don't react so butthurt. Almost emotionless. Inside the feelings are there... own them, as in no one else needs to hear it in a public way. That's pride and ego when you publicly project that.

As soon as you start screaming and shouting about rejection, you create an entitled mindset. Within yourself. It doesn't look good.

So here's the thing no one owes you anything. If someone doesn't find you attractive or doesn't like your personality or any number of things. Then that's more about their wants and needs. Respect that.. let go, move on and heal.

Having a hissy fit is childish and unattractive. Blaming the other person or yourself is not going to help either. In fact for whatever reason you are rejected. Just means that person isn't meant for you in that capacity. Let them be so they can find that person and you find a person meant for you.

Good luck. Go get rejected and do it with honour and respect. Not for anyone else but for yourself.


DarkArts1066

DarkArts1066

Posted
An interesting one this. With the advent of the ‘block’ button, rejections - in the traditional sense seem to be a thing of the past. People reach straight for the block button, and you are done.

However, if someone were to reject my interest, I would like to know why that was.

Maybe I didn’t fit their needs, perhaps my approach was wrong, who knows … but unless someone tells you these things, it’s impossible to know if you need to change something.

I guess many people reach for the block button, because it means that they don’t have to face any potential hostility from someone.

I’m sure we’ve all heard stories of people who have been insulted, ***d - and even threatened for refusing someone’s’ advances, which would potentially justify the block/report approach.

In any case, my approach is always polite and courteous, and although I’ve had people block me in the past, I can be confident that it’s not because I have been inappropriate.

Jeromiah

Jeromiah

Posted
I don’t deal with rejection very well and I had been rejected a heck of a lot on this app last year. Almost everybody I planned to meet up to date or do roleplay with bailed on me, ghosted me or cancelled last minute. It was so disappointing because it was every person that I got frustrated and depressed and ended up not enjoying summer.
This year I met up with more people so happier but now whenever a date is cancelled I get anxious and panic a bit
Jeromiah

Jeromiah

Posted
Oh and ps after the dates a lot of them never spoke to me again after and never told me what I did wrong so I have no idea what puts them off so I could work on that for future. People have just told me they are probably just wrong for me
Jeromiah

Jeromiah

Posted
1 hour ago, SilverSorcerer said:
Ok this is just my opinion and experience. Everyone is different in how they deal with rejection.

So not going to flower my words here. I hope my opinion doesn't offend others. If it does...

Now that statement can be rejected. Your entire being can only be rejected by yourself.

Wind back to my youth... being rejected was difficult and I would lash out verbally and make a scene. How dare you not like me etc etc. In the end that behaviour in of itself assured my rejection not just as a partner but any form of relationship.

The why does nobody like me mentality is rife in society. Guess what you aren't the only one. You don't like yourself.. you reject yourself, who you are... people pick up on that.

So two ways to deal with rejection.
Number one is just don't try, don't even bother with putting yourself out there... maybe if your lucky someone will find you.

Number two is keep trying again and again... constantly being rejected until rejected doesn't even matter.

Both these aren't healthy ways.
Number two is where I am at.
Couldn't give two hoots at this moment about rejection. It like my rejection nerve is gone completely. Yes I still get sad yes I still have that spark of anger. I just don't react so butthurt. Almost emotionless. Inside the feelings are there... own them, as in no one else needs to hear it in a public way. That's pride and ego when you publicly project that.

As soon as you start screaming and shouting about rejection, you create an entitled mindset. Within yourself. It doesn't look good.

So here's the thing no one owes you anything. If someone doesn't find you attractive or doesn't like your personality or any number of things. Then that's more about their wants and needs. Respect that.. let go, move on and heal.

Having a hissy fit is childish and unattractive. Blaming the other person or yourself is not going to help either. In fact for whatever reason you are rejected. Just means that person isn't meant for you in that capacity. Let them be so they can find that person and you find a person meant for you.

Good luck. Go get rejected and do it with honour and respect. Not for anyone else but for yourself.


Hey so that is a great comment and I agree. I was like that. I still get angry or sad but usually people just block or ghost me. Luckily not many have been brutal about it. I had one guy tell me that the reason he had stop talking to me on bumble was because I am ugly and let’s face it he’s a 10. Yes, he literally said that. It was laughable as well as hurtful. Especially as I was already wondering that day if maybe the reason a lot of people reject me is because I was ugly. Was a real weird coincidence as nobody has ever said that before. Not in a long time anyway.
I try and take these things better these days but tbh that broke me that day. It was last Monday and I will admit I got angry and threw things but only when I was alone. Mum assured me I did the right thing by letting out the anger instead of bottling it up and letting it fester.

Deleted Member

Posted
The last time I got rejected was so unnecessary and brutal I genuinely considered *** later that night. Luckily I just drank myself to sleep.

Thats how life tells you to “get the hell out of the genepool and never come back!”
un****

un****

Posted

to put this as blunt as possible you just have to not give a flying f**k. now with that out of the way yeah it hurts yeah you get over it people don’t need a reason to reject you, block you, ghost you or otherwise. Would a reason be nice yes it would but in the real world people aren’t obligated to give you one hell i’ll give you one that happened to me recently she went from i want to be cuddled up in your bed to blocked the next day but you can’t obsess over it people will be people you can think its shitty behavior or whatever but at the end of the day you’ll eventually find someone don’t get hung up on the shit that doesn’t work out it’ll do you no good

cl****

cl****

Posted
I shout "Next!", Then start seeking a partner. Why take it personally?
Nacho-2589

Nacho-2589

Posted
IMHO rejection is difficult for most of us. On a positive note the vast majority of us have people who love us and respect us. When it comes to online there are so many people available at any one time. It’s easy to reject someone you’ve never met. Or those who glide through profiles etc looking for specific this and that might not consider someone for any number of reasons. Don’t get me wrong it still stings. I’m sitting here relatively fresh to this site not getting so much of a nibble! Am I annoyed? Yeah sometimes. But I also know it’s not an actual rejection of me just an online presence. Would I like to know why I’m not getting what I want. Yeah sometimes. In person it’s more acute but I find people easier to read and less likely to leave you wondering why. Just remember how many people you have access to. Compare that to an evening out at a party; you’d maybe catch someone’s eye not the whole room unless you were incredibly lucky!
Robhynne

Robhynne

Posted
The positively healthy thing to do is to move on. It wasn't meant to be. No Biggie. As the saying goes, plenty more fish in the sea. - If you were polite and respectful then it is their loss, not yours. So let them get on with it and find someone better suited to you, who wants your time (the most expensive commodity you'll ever give to anyone, it's precious, so don't waste it!) and attention. X
fr****

fr****

Posted
Being rejected is a part of life. Also a lot of people do not disclose properly their true intentions and will ghost you. It’s just the modern world. Most people are too weak to disclose the truth.
Robhynne

Robhynne

Posted
Also, more often than not you'll find they've done you a favour.

I dated someone who was not a nice person, but I just could not see it at the time because I like to see the good in people (despite many people from his circle and my own, telling me he was not good for me)
He said he wanted to part ways...I was sad for a little while, but when I had time to think about it I realised I was not being my true self with him...walking on eggshells...I knew then it was not the kind of relationship I wanted nor deserved.
I'm happier now I'm out of that situation and back to being myself. 😊 Friends and Family are important to help you through the tough times...keep a good circle of people in your life.
X
cl****

cl****

Posted
I avoid putting myself in a situation where I feel I would be rejected. Low self esteem is hard to overcome.
Nacho-2589

Nacho-2589

Posted
3 hours ago, Jeromiah said:

Hey so that is a great comment and I agree. I was like that. I still get angry or sad but usually people just block or ghost me. Luckily not many have been brutal about it. I had one guy tell me that the reason he had stop talking to me on bumble was because I am ugly and let’s face it he’s a 10. Yes, he literally said that. It was laughable as well as hurtful. Especially as I was already wondering that day if maybe the reason a lot of people reject me is because I was ugly. Was a real weird coincidence as nobody has ever said that before. Not in a long time anyway.
I try and take these things better these days but tbh that broke me that day. It was last Monday and I will admit I got angry and threw things but only when I was alone. Mum assured me I did the right thing by letting out the anger instead of bottling it up and letting it fester.

Without wishing to sound creepy you’re not ugly. The type of person who would wilfully say that they are a 10 and you don’t stack up are ugly as well as shallow. As mentioned by others here probably did you a favour! Better off without that kind of person. To be that lost in your own appearance is deeply unattractive, how could someone that vain be considered to be an arbiter of others physical beauty? It’s nonsense! 

69****

69****

Posted

Well sadly enough I've been rejected for being born,both of my parents said that I was a mistake & they didn't want even B4 birth. So I became an alcoholic at a young age 

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