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How to deal with rejection?

purplepie

By purplepie
in Kink Academy

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Deleted Member

Posted
1. Eat my feelings
2. Convince myself I'm worthy of the right type of love ❤️
3. Shut people out so I don't get rejected again

Deleted Member

Posted
I usually try to avoid putting myself in that situation. Even though I know people have different tastes etc I tend to take it personally and feel like I’m not good enough 😔

Deleted Member

Posted
Well live on. To be real here in app's like this one most people will reject you for dumb reasons like beauty or you might not know why but if it it wasn't the reason ask yourself this simple question , you have to be honest with yourself "Was what s/he said true?" If no continue your life normally, else ask yourself how could I improve on that even if it is slightly.
MissMerinXoXo

MissMerinXoXo

Posted
I throw myself into rejection. Rejection is inevitable. So I make friends with it.
ti****

ti****

Posted
What I do is I just look at it like it’s whatever because it’s not the end of the world. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
ma****

ma****

Posted
It doesn’t bother me. I don’t find it difficult to meet people, so when I come across ones aren’t interested it doesn’t phase me. Not everyone is my cup of tea and I know I’m not for everyone ha

Deleted Member

Posted
I heard this saying many, many years ago and keep it in mind always: the best way to get over one man is to get under another one. 😉
Me****

Me****

Posted
You have to think positively because the longer you mope around the longer it takes for you to get spanked
Di****

Di****

Posted
You don't look at rejection as it is. You look at it as though they see the real You & because they're not ready for someone real, they eliminate themselves because happiness is not for them at the time. & you'll see when the tables turn, you'll already be with another & they're miserable wanting the happiness you offered before given to another who is receiving that abundance of love.

Deleted Member

Posted
Its part and parcel of being a man and how dating is set up. You play the numbers game.
Om****

Om****

Posted
Ehh food satisfies. If they ain’t feeding me or eating me. I don’t mind if I’m rejected. Hahahaa! But no serious note, I don’t get offended because there’s many times where I might be interested and reject just because I’m shy or awkward, or going through something and I’m not confident. So rejection isn’t always because they don’t like you. And it’s also not permanent either. But when it comes down to it, shrug it off because your time is better spent looking ahead and moving forward. Your time will come when it comes, and you won’t be thinking about that rejection at all.
VILKDUJA

VILKDUJA

Posted
Shrug my shoulders, they are the ones who are missing out & after all, none of us can be everyone's cup of kink & continue moving forward.
xp****

xp****

Posted
How do fish deal with water?
It's the sea you swim in.
If you can't handle failure, you can't handle success either.
Du****

Du****

Posted
Ghosted, cancelled, stood up by 98% of the dates I’ve arranged. I don’t give anyone the chance to let me down twice, but now I’m so tired of it that I don’t even allow anyone to let me down once. Which is… kinda lonely.
Nacho-2589

Nacho-2589

Posted
5 hours ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Ghosted, cancelled, stood up by 98% of the dates I’ve arranged. I don’t give anyone the chance to let me down twice, but now I’m so tired of it that I don’t even allow anyone to let me down once. Which is… kinda lonely.

Such a shame. I don’t know how to best answer that with positivity.  I guess some time away and then come back when you’re ready might work. It’s a horrible trap being lonely and not wanting to put yourself out there again. I get the lonely thing. It’s hard to be on your own and keep pushing on. So many times people use their partners to push them in a nice way. Not having that is hard. 

Deleted Member

Posted
Each person on this earth has their own way of life. No matter how pretty or hot someone is in your eyes doesn't change who they are. We don't reject each other off of what they do, but rather the differences we can't agree upon. When you are "rejected" take it as a sign of respect from the other person not wanting to put you through the ups and downs of a relationship that they don't see working.
Na****

Na****

Posted
It is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️ I try not to get attached to the idea of meeting someone when we make plans. I've been stood up enough times I'm kinda making bets in my head if we will actually meet or if it's a dud. Annoying, but it helps me from attacking myself and thinking I did something or said something that made them dislike me. I'm sure more than half the time it has nothing to do with me lol but the insecure voice in my head gets really loud sometimes.
Lowvan

Lowvan

Posted

Rejection is tough, but I try to use Stoicism (the philosophy) as a guideline: your emotions are valid and it's ok to feel sad, disappointed or angry or whatever else, but someone rejecting you is mostly not under your control, so try to not take it personally.

To handle (dating) rejection, I just go through a few steps:
1) Did I screw up? E.g. was I too pushy or too distant, too clingy, did I misrepresent myself in some way etc. Now, that's the only thing I have control over so I try to work on it.
2) Did something change for the other person, e.g. maybe they met someone they found more interesting or was a better match, lived closer so more convenient, going through a rough time and don't want to be online as much, etc
3) Realise that sometimes "shit" happens. Think about the lyrics of Ironic by Alanis Morisette - sometimes things just go tits up for no reason.
4) Never give up on the dating. Falling off the horse hurts, but as long as you get back on the horse you can continue to reach your destination: a partner.

Now, perceived rejections online, in the sense of "there are no (fe)male dom/subs/switches/fetishists", it's best to look at it as logical as you can be. Dating apps are designed so that you have to pay to get the most benefit out of it. The current swipe-dating meta is terrible if you're not a "social media profile" savvy person (most people aren't). Kink dating sites are a sausagefest since most women have had enough of all the dickpics, one-handed typed messages, quinquagenarian "hey baby xox" spam and the list goes on.
Online dating for men requires great effort, for non-men, it requires great risk.

So yeah, there are many factors, and try not to get too hung up on what has happened, but what could happen in the future.




 

Deleted Member

Posted

If you're not failing, you're not trying. Failure is the best teacher and motivator. 

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