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Need some advice/tips


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Me and my husband have dabbled in bondage (me tying him up) but he's apprehensive about anything else. Now I'm both dominant and submissive but like to be mostly submissive. I like pet play, bondage, ***, choking, voyeur, and being told/telling someone exactly what to do. I've talked to my husband about what I'm into (and have done), but his confidence isn't very high, and he just wants to stick to the stuff we've tried. Don't get me wrong he's interested in trying what I'm into but is very worried hes going to mess up as he's very inexperienced in all things sexual (I'm his first) and that he's going to hurt me or I'm going to hurt him. What I'm seeking is advice on getting his confidence up and trying to soothe his worry's.


in short.

one day at a time.

You can't *** someone to become more confident, but, you can take things a day at a time - give each other feedback after play.  "I was worried I'd hurt you", "I understand, but genuinely a little harder would have also been fine. We can try harder next time" 

On stuff you haven't tried - confidence will grow to try also - but try to learn about it via reading, video tutorials, workshops etc. before even trying so it already feels a bit more natural.

Remember also : trial and error.

You will both get things wrong - but - that's OK.  It's about how you learn, recover and grow from it.

Pick something he would like to try with you... Do one thing at a time and you might find that starts to blossom. Exactly as eyemblacksheep says, talk about what's good and what's bad... Talk before, during and after... Tell him if you really enjoy something and build his confidence that he's doing something really good to you... As you carry on you might find things level out as you find what you like and stick to that... Or they might accelerate as you both find new things to try... The key is do it together and communicate

I think your husband is right to go slowly and some stuff you want to try are not for newbies. While ropes bondage are fun there are the do and don’t to learn about. Also for brathplay like choking is not an easy one to play without cautious. Crushed pipes, *** clot and you end up at the hospital. 

Sorry to scare u but it’s better to play safely 

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