Advice on how to attract girls as a trans man

[Jeromiah]

I’m a trans man but most girls just see me as a girl as I’m pre op and refuse to cut my hair.
I find myself lying about it and just going with the fact people think I’m a cis girl and only attract men. Usually pervy men. I would rather attract and have relationships with girls as I’m poly. Not sure how to become attractive as I am. Not sure how others do it but they seem to have no troubles attracting who they want whilst being trans.
I’m kind of worried I’m just undesirable

[Co****]

You'll find out pretty soon how much being a man actually sucks in the dating world. Good luck though bro

[Je****]

You are attractive as you are. And you deserve to live your life, how and whatever way you want to. Their opinions don't matter, infact they're being pig ignorant. Someone who doesn't take you seriously and pushes you to lie about who you are, don't deserve your time and effort.
If and when you transition (if thats what you wish to do with surgery or hormones, forgive me im not in the know on it all), then you'll start to look sound and feel more like "you" the way you want.
Good luck. 🥰

[Rh****]

So I don't know if this will help, given I'm butt ugly, but in my experience passion is the most attractive thing a person can have. Be bold, talk about things you love, and be open minded. Stick to who you are, and someone will love you for you.

[Deleted Member]

Do not change who you are and what makes you feel good for others. You will attract the right people for you naturally 😘

[Mi****]

I am sure there is someone out there who will love, who will see you and treat you as the guy you are. Don’t give up, I believe in you <3

[Deleted Member]

TBH, dating for men is a different beast that dating as a woman. Most men do not get any attention from women in the dating marketplace. Women have almost zero accountability while dating and men carry the burden of accountability while dating. If you don’t present as a man, then you aren’t. The rules for dating are arbitrarily made up by women and applied arbitrarily by women. It’s a mess.

[Li****]

It's hard but there are women out there who will make you feel seen as who you are! Have you tried the app Feeld?

[Ca****]

So I went through your profile and it doesn’t present as a trans man. I see the costumes, but they all seem more schoolgirl and feminine. Have you been to local places? Try dance clubs? I’ve met trans men and trans women there majority of the time

[Deleted Member]

@CaramelLatte I too agree. Dressing like a man and learning through role play does not make you a man. A man is raised through the years by other men. If you want to be accepted as a man, you can’t just go through the motions. It is a conscientious to become a man. M to F transformation is FAR easier than F to M.

[Deleted Member]

@QueenNins your comment is out of place. By definition of trans they are changing from one gender to another.

[Ar****]

3 hours ago, Jefe-410 said:

TBH, dating for men is a different beast that dating as a woman. Most men do not get any attention from women in the dating marketplace. Women have almost zero accountability while dating and men carry the burden of accountability while dating. If you don’t present as a man, then you aren’t. The rules for dating are arbitrarily made up by women and applied arbitrarily by women. It’s a mess.

What even is this?

Men being held accountable? Really? Not receiving "attention" 🎻? An implication that the terms for dating are controlled by the matriarchy and anybody else has to just roll with it?

If baffled were a colour, I'd be it.

[gl****]

Naw. It's just that you're a female and not all females dig females yo. Not every kid on the playground wants to play pretend.

[gl****]

Hey Jeff-410.... Do you believe that is possible by definition??

[gl****]

Jeff410. Remember fight club? "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken" lolololol

[Deleted Member]

@Aranhis it is baffling, but that is how neofeminism is affecting the “dating market” in my region of the US. Obviously you have a different experience, but my observations are recurring with regularity. So it isn’t a violin song looking for attention. And the terms for dating are controlled by women. Either you meet their terms or you choose not to date. Now once you are dating regularly then the terms are negotiable.

But my statement that women want to hold men accountable in dating and not accepting accountability I stand by. And I also stand by my statement that women arbitrarily make the rules and arbitrarily en*** their own rules.

[Do****]

Cut your hair

[sp****]

The right person will accept you as you are.

[ge****]

3 hours ago, Aranhis said:

What even is this?

Men being held accountable? Really? Not receiving "attention" 🎻? An implication that the terms for dating are controlled by the matriarchy and anybody else has to just roll with it?

If baffled were a colour, I'd be it.

I reckon baffled would be an off beige 😉🤔
.
And couldn't agree more - Jefe-10's experience is somewhat different from my own - so I'm in the baffled club too!!
.
I'm also baffled by the suggestion that transforming in one direction is easier than the other - anyone I've known that has taken that step, in either direction, has had an incredibly difficult journey both mentally and otherwise.

[Sp****]

I wish I could attract trans men! It’s likely a misunderstanding of what people are looking for. Sometimes terms may be confusing. Good luck on your journey!

[Deleted Member]

Gonna risk coming off as an arse hole here but there's nothing manly about you. Regardless of the shape of your body, which is also a big overlooked baseline attraction among the trans community, you refuse to cut your hair, you're wearing make up and playing dress up. Judging from your profile you don't present yourself to be masculine in anyway and I'd be willing to put *** on masculinity playing a pretty important part on what women find attractive about men. And unfortunately you also have to consider that fact you're not a biological man.

[Deleted Member]

Well being a man is the dating scene by definition is hard. An ugly woman literally get more attention than an attractive men 🙄. But, if you are serious about what you want the best way is to get a man to coach you.

[Deleted Member]

@mrJhon is spot on. I agree with Jhon’s assessment to get a traditionally masculine man to coach or mentor you. Men are raised by men to be men. It isn’t something that is “turned on” very well.

[Deleted Member]

Jefe-410 I think you haven’t quite dealt with your own resentments towards women. In heteronormative dating attractive women do usually have a lot of options - and can afford to be selective. This is a fundamental truth and being angry about it will only hurt you. Be honest with yourself about what you bring to the table in terms of personality, looks and financial security and identify areas to work on, express gratitude for what you already have and approach people with an open, humble heart and the world will open up to you. If a women takes you for a ride, forgive her. Young attractive women do call a lot of the shots but so do self-assured and self actualised men.

[Deleted Member]

@Thetguy if you said that to me it seems genuinely supportive. I am sure there are are going to be those that take offense. But they won’t be masculine cis men.