Silentsiren Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 I am not new to bdsm or kink. I am posting this here though because my husband is. Not to mention it can be considered a newbish question. The man I was with before my husband I introduce to BDSM. I am pan, and am I switch though I much rather be submissive especially with men. Long story short, the other man I was with broke our rules and ended up hurting me in a way. I blamed myself for a long time. Sometimes I still feel to blame. But I remind myself that he broke our rules we had in place for a reason. Not to mention I found out there were other incidents with other girls. Because of all of that I have been terrified to tell my husband what I'm into or even ask for anything. We have been together 10 years and he just found out pulling my hair is a turn on. He knows I'm pan, and I'd be more than happy for a threesome if we could ever both agree on a girl. We never have, two totally different taste. My husband is very vanilla and extremely lazy in the bedroom. It drives me crazy. I love him but I am so damn sexually frustrated it's not even funny. Like it would be nice to get back into my play but honestly if I could just get a good hard fuck I'd be happy at this point. I've tried to Express that I'm not happy sexually but it never comes out right and all I can get out is I want more. What do I do?