Can differing dynamics work?

[Deleted Member]

Looking for opinions, can different BDSM dynamics work together? Is compromise a good thing? Can either person be truly satisfied? Or is one always sacrificing their needs for the other?

 

A sub who enjoys being bottom, enjoys *** and *** and a switch who can be that dominant they need occasionally, but also really loves to be the princess/goddess sub at times….. can it work? How can you make it easier for both to get what they want and not just the switch constantly playing the role for the other? 

 

Or is it just a square peg in a round hole? Love to hear you thoughts. 

[Be****]

It's a tricky balance, the switch role is a tricky one - I'm happy being sub for a while but sometimes like to take control, that doesn't always go down well, but like any relationship, there are compromises and communication challenges. It's two individuals after all, it doesn't follow a defined programme, nor should it. Roles only help so far.

[Li****]

Only if you want them to!!  Sub and Dom roles exist as a guide, dynamics is something that's experienced between two people or more!! So it's like asking about the ability of people to give and take to make the sexy Dynamics work!! 

[Deleted Member]

That's an interesting question. Can a dom spoil their sub rotten and grant them their every desire? Can a sub not care for their dom when the dom is feeling down, or tired or sick? I can imagine a sub essentially taking the lead in caring for their dom when the situation Warrants it. Just as I can see a dom pampering their sub when appropriate.

That aside, if the above doesn't seem feasible or appropriate, I can imagine a situation where both the sub and switch want to be subs at the same time for a while. It could be beneficial to have a friend who is a dom who could, for a while, come and join for some play if all three parties concure.

[DeviantInside]

Can it work? Yes. Every relationship requires some level of compromise. What is basically boils down to is what is most important to those involved. If the sacrifices are outweighed by the benefits then it may well be worth it to both parties. However if one or other feels it is unequal (overall) or feels unfulfilled then this will often lead to either confrontation or things bleeding out in other conscious or subconscious ways. Honesty is key… both with each other and themselves. What they are willing to compromise and accept and what they are not. What their needs, boundaries and requirements are and what they are willing to forego for the sake of the other positive benefits they are getting from the relationship. It’s also sometimes surprising to find that what you thought was an absolute for you can change with a specific person.

[Ba****]

I would say that, in your example, the sub and switch, if they wanted it to work, they would make it work.

Me, personally, I wouldn't be able to be with a switch that wanted me to Dom them. I'm not a Dom. Period. They would need to find a Dom for themself. If I wanted something my primary Dom has as a limit, I would be clear that I was looking for a Dom who could give me that, even if it was short-term.

[Deleted Member]

In my experience, a switch can often manifest to me as a strict dom, when his manner of speaking pushes all my buttons. I’ve often seen these types of personal experiences transform their characters, and these frequently become the pathways to their continuing and further refined self discovery. This is why I never prejudge an identity. Love often seems to occur in the most unexpected places and it can certainly be divine for both parties involved.

[MasterDarcy1979]

It's nuanced.

In your scenario, the bottom would have to be patient as well as flexible. So yes, it could certainly work.

It would really depend on a lot of factors. In the aforementioned dynamic, it couldn't be TPE. There would have to be lots of "breaks" as well as a lot of give and take.

[in****]

From experience, it is highly unlikely you will meet someone who matches your kinky urges exactly. It’s even less common to find that in a person you are also compatible with and attracted to. Compromise will always need to happen somewhere and it is up to the parties involved to decide whether these are compromises each can live with.