Fa**** Posted August 28, 2023 Posted August 28, 2023 I’ve been (un)fortunate enough to call more than one man (my) Sir. And until very recently I thought that my first Dom had had the most influence on me and my journey. But, I’ve now realised that isn’t the case. I was a starry eyed girl with my first Dom, I thought he could do no wrong and maybe he couldn’t. However, what he also couldn’t/didn’t do was make me believe in myself. Something has just ended that lasted for a fraction of the time the relationship I held all other D/s relationships to did and I’ve realised that it isn’t quantity or length of time that makes something good for me. It’s quality. Yes, I’m aware of the saying but there’s a difference between knowing it and feeling it. This person began to help me fix what was broken so long ago I don’t even remember when or how it happened. He did that because he saw ME and I meant enough that he wanted my happiness. Many of you will have seen the body writing photos - he did that. He didn’t write the words but I did it at his request and I FELT and BELIEVED every single one of them because he made them true for me. He made me important and happy and safe. So, this time the question I ask myself is not how do I get him back - he doesn’t want that and because of the way it ended I respect that. The question is - how do I keep alive the person he made me? Do the walls go up again? Do I start disliking myself again? Or do I continue to see myself as the same person I was through his eyes? Do I continue to believe in myself? It would be wasted to lose everything he gave to me but only time will tell how I manage to respond. What I do know is that whilst others may bring me different levels of happiness and new awakenings they will never be the same as what he did for me and that is exactly the way it should be. 18 months or 5 months - give me the 5 months of what he did any time, please. Love, X
Greenman56 Posted August 28, 2023 Posted August 28, 2023 Continue to see yourself as he left you, if you start a new relationship, remember that, work that into your new relationship make sure the new guy knows what you need
Will57Y Posted August 28, 2023 Posted August 28, 2023 It sounds to me like you're thinking over what happened and how it helped you in ways that will help you going forward. Trust your feelings and thoughts about this and try to move forward as you might have with the Sir that made you feel important and safe - and try to figure out how to do that for yourself.
Ic**** Posted August 28, 2023 Posted August 28, 2023 No one can change you. Not really. Some give of themselves in order for you to give yourself permission to change. The credit is yours entirely. The walls can never go up again. Not entirely. You cannot unlearn who you’ve become.
Fa**** Posted August 28, 2023 Author Posted August 28, 2023 4 minutes ago, IcarusAscending said: No one can change you. Not really. Some give of themselves in order for you to give yourself permission to change. The credit is yours entirely. The walls can never go up again. Not entirely. You cannot unlearn who you’ve become. The sentiment in this is beautiful. The reality of it isn’t true. I wish it were but it isn’t. Thank you though
Ceejayuk Posted August 28, 2023 Posted August 28, 2023 I know you have been through it. All I can say is, you know I think you are an amazing woman. I am not sure how you stop the walls building up again, all you can do is keep telling yourself that you are worth it and know that others know you are worth it. I wish I could have helped you see you for you, as much as your previous dom seems to have done. I will keep telling you, even if it does not sink in as much, hopefully it will help xx
Fa**** Posted August 28, 2023 Author Posted August 28, 2023 13 minutes ago, Ceejayuk said: I know you have been through it. All I can say is, you know I think you are an amazing woman. I am not sure how you stop the walls building up again, all you can do is keep telling yourself that you are worth it and know that others know you are worth it. I wish I could have helped you see you for you, as much as your previous dom seems to have done. I will keep telling you, even if it does not sink in as much, hopefully it will help xx Thank you lovely man xx
Rena-5651 Posted August 29, 2023 Posted August 29, 2023 I've actually experienced a similar battle to yours very recently, what's keeping me to be the better me he made me realize is self care, yes it's us who worked on our selves but without that guidance we wouldn't have took those steps out of the pond onto the land,I wright little stories to replace my need to lean on someone again, it's my therapy I hope you find your tick as well🫂best wishes but know your not alone and self care is the key(mental self care)I hope what I said helped in anyway🫂🫂🫂
Wasp2017 Posted August 29, 2023 Posted August 29, 2023 Not every stop on a journey is a final destination but the starting point stays with you all the way.
Al**** Posted September 1, 2023 Posted September 1, 2023 Just make sure you love yourself and give yourself all she deserves, you know her well now and what that is.
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