Belonging

[ph****]

How many dynamics are structured around the idea of mutual belonging as opposed to something closer to ownership/property? Not strictly in a M/s dynamic, but as my submissive is quick and often to point out, she is mine, I am not hers.
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How many of you go into Consideration with this concept in mind? Was it something that was cultivated over time? Is it something that you completely reject?
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Brought about by a conversation with my sub and curiosity is high.
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✌️❤️👑

[Pi****]

As I am looking for a mommy/son dynamic I actually do prefer that he understand that I belong to him just as much as he belongs to me. I encourage free use

[wh****]

It should be you belong to each other but if your sub has that mindset respect it. Because finding something genuine these days is rare

[wh****]

But in the over all scope of it that is the dynamic

[Do****]

An interesting point! I’ve always gone with ownership, but subs have always sought to be owned and never complained they don’t own me.

[De****]

My master is my love and we belong together.

[Do****]

My last sub and I had a pretty good relationship by the time we got settled, since she served me well, and I often rewarded her generously, mutual feelings developed and even though we were dom/sub, we were in love as well

[ph****]

2 hours ago, whitewolf91 said:

It should be you belong to each other but if your sub has that mindset respect it. Because finding something genuine these days is rare

I’m not one to tell someone how it should be, but I respect that you feel that way.

[ph****]

2 hours ago, DomFarmer said:

My last sub and I had a pretty good relationship by the time we got settled, since she served me well, and I often rewarded her generously, mutual feelings developed and even though we were dom/sub, we were in love as well

I understand the mutual feeling aspect, maybe not in those precise words, but I agree the my sub and I share a mutual understanding and connection. As for finding being rare… FACTS

[Deleted Member]

The concept I enjoy most is mutual ownership. In subspace, I want to be and feel owned by my partner with the obvious notion that he is also mine. It feels a bit more aggressive than mutual belonging even though the two ideas run parallel. I don't need my partner to state that he is mine because it's rhetorical in my mind, but I do want to hear him state that I am his. It feels like a natural desire in an owner/pet dynamic where I'm proud to be chosen, all the while knowing I chose him, too. I only assert my ownership when I'm trying to claim what's already mine.

P.S. I keep reading what I've written, hoping that this makes sense. Even if it doesn't make sense, consider this no more than a perspective paired with a feeling.

[Va****]

i thought that this thought process was an unspoken basic function of a D/s dynamic. Over the past year i’m finding that this seems to come off as an outlandish mindset.
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i’m free use. That’s how i prefer to play. i am a toy. If i am not owned then what am i? i would be a toy that sits on the shelf in a pretty box for others to fantasize about and collect dust. If i’m owned than i am HIS toy and not anyone else’s. He decides who He shares His toy with. If i am owned then i have opportunity to be useful. A toy does not own it’s possessor in return. A toy doesn’t tell it’s owner what to do. Toys come with an instruction manual (negotiation that leads to a contract) and each comes with different functions. But a toy doesn’t tell it’s owner what to do. In return… the toy SHOULD be cared for and maintained. If you don’t properly care for your toy then it won’t be your toy for very long….
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So…. Maybe this mindset is more common with those of us genuinely looking to be owned. Maybe it’s just one more thing that should be negotiated if you can wrap your brains around the idea? Maybe i am just an odd duck who has been burned by vanilla “love” one too many times (it sure feels that way some days). Maybe some view this concept as cold because they don’t understand that this mindset takes more effort to maintain and social media has overly romanticized kink.

[an****]

For a serious d/s relationship for me goes with a series dating relationship. play partners are a different scenario. however, i love knowing that i belong to my partner, and in return knowing that they belong to me. they are my dom. my life partner. mine as much as i am theres.

[Wy****]

There are many many different sorts of dynamics and they are all valuable and special in their own ways. My dynamic with my Dom is very much in line with us belonging to each other as a symbiotic relationship. But I know of many other people where the ownership is more unilateral, at least psychologically and that’s what works for them and makes them happy.

[Deleted Member]

My sub and I belong to each other. All of her belongs to me, and all of me belongs to her. It is something we discussed in length and agreed upon. We leave nothing unspoken, nothing to be assumed. If it’s an interest, craving, desire, want, we discuss it.

[wh****]

Why I said that is because I've been burned by vanillas too many times and I've only had a few kink partners in my life

[QXX666]

As a Dom I don’t want to feel I am owned. It’s a Ds relationship and structure that way. Mutual respect is in place but the needy emotion I leave it to the sub.

[ph****]

4 hours ago, QXX666 said:

As a Dom I don’t want to feel I am owned. It’s a Ds relationship and structure that way. Mutual respect is in place but the needy emotion I leave it to the sub.

I just had this talk with my sub, Dom’s are needy, sub’s are giving.

[Pi****]

Yesterday at 12:49 PM, phantum said:

I just had this talk with my sub, Dom’s are needy, sub’s are giving.

Interesting: what points did you use to come to that conclusion?

[ph****]

2 hours ago, PillowPrincess1 said:

Interesting: what points did you use to come to that conclusion?

All submissives are their own individuals, so mileage may vary, but I look for service oriented ones, as such, submissives, from my perspective, are giving in nature. Their primary need is to serve (give). If I’m looking for/interested in service oriented submissives, I have to own the fact that I’m the one that’s needy as they are the one serving me.
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Beyond that, if a Dom, and I’m certain the vast majority of Doms fit this description well, is going to be a leader, they will give directives, whether or not those directives benefit the sub or the Dom, the need for the sub to follow that directive is, well, a certain level of neediness.
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Lastly, and I swear I want a Dom to not smirk when they read this, Doms are attention f*cking whores! Deny it, I dare you! I double dog dare you! I get it, we all like and need our me time, time to ourselves, etc., but the attention we get from our submissives is intoxicating and gives little warm and fuzzies all over 🥰🫠.
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But maybe that’s because I’m 24/7.