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Dom Drop

By Deleted Member
in Kink Academy

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Deleted Member

Posted
How many Doms out there have experienced, and recognized drop? Is it gradual, or sudden? Do you feel it coming on throughout a day/week, or do you wake up in your dropped state of mind? Also, what do you experience in your drop?

I’ve noticed a sort of depression, not quite that though. I’ve had times when it was as soon as woke up the next day, and times when it was progressive throughout my week. When it comes on, I notice a doubt in myself. Doubt in my relationship as well. My mind races with thoughts of things I know to be untrue, but I still can’t shake them.
typhoon2

typhoon2

Posted
Dom Drop for me manifests itself with occasional feelings after intense play of boredom with everyday activities. I'll be at work, doing routine stuff, and will suddenly reflect on the play, comparing it with my current situation and reflecting on how much I'd rather being playing again. The world seems a bit empty, somehow. It doesn't last long, since I *** myself to start planning the next scene in my mind. Optimism is better than wistfulness!
Do****

Do****

Posted
Ooooh I’m interested to see how this thread goes. I haven’t really thought about this but suspect it could be a thing I experience. I have dropped significantly the last couple of weeks between interactions, and connected to how things have gone with a couple of subs.

Deleted Member

Posted
I’ve only ever experienced it two times. I think the best way to describe it at least for me was a sense of longing. Longing for my submissive. I was also very sad and my brain was able to process something’s that it was ignoring at the time. For me it happened before we even left because I did not want to go home. It gradually got worse, the only thing that I regret about it is I was unable to really take note and help her through her sub drop at the time. But after that I learned how to better handle myself. The second time was a lot better. I would describe it as just feeling heavy. Almost lost is the bliss.
Ma****

Ma****

Posted
It’s quite a regular thing and I just have to be prepared for it. It’s bound to happen after you have flooded your body with dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and adrenaline. If you don’t prepare for what comes after this then you are going to get drop. There are some great articles online about it.
Do****

Do****

Posted
One of my subbies is a psychodynamic psychotherapist and teacher. He raised an interesting concept about hyper-bonding. The ability to create a close bond very quickly, to make the other person feel trust and feel safe. Something Lifestyle Dommes/Doms will do a lot, like therapists do, so the sub can relax and feel safe with us. But providing that, and the intensity of the connection developed, can mean we are giving a lot of ourselves and feel drained from the interactions. This can be the same with messaging new subs and creating the hyper bonding prior to the first visit. Probably feeds into the Dom/me drop.
Bl****

Bl****

Posted
Can't hold that shield up forever. We provide that safe place from the world. To take out Subs away into safety. I get it often and it's something your sub needs to know about. Unfortunately sometimes they have to take care of us.
Do****

Do****

Posted
I find it difficult to discuss with subs. They can feel very guilty if they feel they have contributed towards me feeling anything but lovely, and may not visit again for *** or making me feel that way. Male subs want their Domme to feel good. They don’t want to be causing them to feel bad. It’s a lot to put on their shoulders.
Do****

Do****

Posted
This is a perfect example of why a Lifestyle Domme chat would help us support each other

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
It can vary from person to person, can be all of a sudden or Prelonged

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
1 hour ago, DommeDelight said:
I find it difficult to discuss with subs. They can feel very guilty if they feel they have contributed towards me feeling anything but lovely, and may not visit again for *** or making me feel that way. Male subs want their Domme to feel good. They don’t want to be causing them to feel bad. It’s a lot to put on their shoulders.

This is precisely what I’d want any Dom/Domme to me to bring to me and discuss! Wow. How incredible to me that YOU and others *would* do so.. I’m saddened that it’s made seemingly so difficult. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
Sounds similar to what I experience with sub drop. Intrusive thoughts are a symptom not a lot people talk about but I get those too! What helps me:
-get you some dopamine- good comfort food, chocolate, cozy clothing, mind candy tv show or book. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and cared for.
-exercise, drink lots of water, balanced meals, sleep
-I talk with my sub friends. They understand and will talk me back!
-I reach out to my Dom and Ask to talk with him. Talking to him helps reassure me.
-smoke some 🌲
Obviously I do not do all of these at the same time. Lol. I just go down the list and see what helps.

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
2 hours ago, DommeDelight said:
This is a perfect example of why a Lifestyle Domme chat would help us support each other

That’s a really good idea, I’m about to look on fetlife and see if there is a group for Dom/mes to discuss such things.

Da****

Da****

Posted
Idk if it’s the same as a sub drop but I feel like I just do t feel like I’m not good enough for my dom, like the world is against me and that at any minute I could just crumble. I stay to my self more and can’t talk to my dom about it

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
I’ve had Top-Drop a couple times now; both after particularly brutal scenes where I’ve gone further (and with prior consent and agreement) than I had previously gone before.
Aftercare is a funny one for me - I need to be able to provide it after a hard scene so that I’m reassured that I’m not the monster I briefly let free.
Do****

Do****

Posted
6 hours ago, Theonlyme13 said:

That’s a really good idea, I’m about to look on fetlife and see if there is a group for Dom/mes to discuss such things.

I have asked for one on here. Waiting to see if they give us one

Do****

Do****

Posted
6 hours ago, Theonlyme13 said:

That’s a really good idea, I’m about to look on fetlife and see if there is a group for Dom/mes to discuss such things.

I can’t see my original message in here about the chat, that you quoted. Has it been deleted?

FETMOD-TF

FETMOD-TF

Posted
46 minutes ago, DommeDelight said:

I can’t see my original message in here about the chat, that you quoted. Has it been deleted?

Not deleted, just in a queue waiting to be approved.  All content posted in the Kink Academy is reviewed by a moderator prior to going live to ensure the content is SFW as per guidelines.  

Do****

Do****

Posted
13 minutes ago, FETMOD-TF said:

Not deleted, just in a queue waiting to be approved.  All content posted in the Kink Academy is reviewed by a moderator prior to going live to ensure the content is SFW as per guidelines.  

No it’s earlier posts. It seems a bit glitchy tonight. Some of my comments above disappear and then after a bit I can see them again. There’s a post about what my sub said. 15 mins ago it looked like it had been deleted. Then it reappeared again. It’s very glitchy. And when I click into net posts on the notifications feed the app crashes.

FETMOD-TF

FETMOD-TF

Posted
6 minutes ago, DommeDelight said:

No it’s earlier posts. It seems a bit glitchy tonight. Some of my comments above disappear and then after a bit I can see them again. There’s a post about what my sub said. 15 mins ago it looked like it had been deleted. Then it reappeared again. It’s very glitchy. And when I click into net posts on the notifications feed the app crashes.

Sorry to hear its glitching.  Try reinstalling the APP and hopefully that will fix it.  Any further issues please feel free to drop me a line. I will leave it there, so we don't take this thread off topic. 

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
Oh definitely, and it varies i think ive experienced it in all ways over the last 8 years

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
Dom drop can be a slow onset, fast or come out of no where. Best way to combat it is to stay in contact with people you play with, talk to them regularly and as a good Dom you know check-ins will happen from you with your sub/bottom you played with during the week after. If the sub/bottom is worthy of you for play, you will already know that they will check in on you and or it will be negotiated prior to play that you both check in on each other.

If it does happen, catching up for a hot drink or a walk along beach/town, and just talking will help!
Da****

Da****

Posted
For it was triggered by my partner going into subdrop at her work and I couldn't provide the care I knew she needed. I did what I could given the circumstances. Aftercare isn't just for the sub. Its for both parties
Iw****

Iw****

Posted
In my 20 + years ....I have experienced the best and worst of emotions . It is imperative that one remains aware that DROP is TEMPORARY. We all FINDd new partners weather we want LTRs or NSA PLAY. ...
Aftercare froma LTR with a 247 type...when.it ends..can ve devastating if.both parties are unprepared. But it happens. Average BDSM relationships got.6 to 7 years...then ....begin again. You have to have good networks in place ....with quality people who truly care for your well being...
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