Dom Drop

[Pi****]

Dom drop and depression and/or anxiety are not the same thing. For me dom drop is when I’m tired of being the only one doing things to or for my sub. I need pampering.

[Pi****]

Friday at 04:30 PM, Master-Pleasure said:

Dom drop can be a slow onset, fast or come out of no where. Best way to combat it is to stay in contact with people you play with, talk to them regularly and as a good Dom you know check-ins will happen from you with your sub/bottom you played with during the week after. If the sub/bottom is worthy of you for play, you will already know that they will check in on you and or it will be negotiated prior to play that you both check in on each other.

If it does happen, catching up for a hot drink or a walk along beach/town, and just talking will help!

Wouldn’t it be nice

[Pi****]

Thursday at 06:51 PM, OldBones said:

I’ve had Top-Drop a couple times now; both after particularly brutal scenes where I’ve gone further (and with prior consent and agreement) than I had previously gone before.
Aftercare is a funny one for me - I need to be able to provide it after a hard scene so that I’m reassured that I’m not the monster I briefly let free.

This is me- and the real problem with “subs” who are just looking to explore something they saw in porn and not truly looking to foster a relationship. 99% of the profiles on this app are exactly this kind of “sub” - not really a sub at all just a horn dog. I’m getting to the part of this cycle again where I think I’d be so much happier if I was celibate and gave up on wading through waves and waves of “subs” trying to scam a hookup.

[to****]

I don’t get it. I want a hookup. Just like you. But would take a pounding on the daily

[MasterDarcy1979]

It's different for different Dom.

Some Doms/Dommes need space and time in order to switch gears, others want to talk through it and others want affection.

I am a TPE Dominant so in a way my Dominant and vanilla sides are forever working in conjunction.

At any time or any day (especially in public) I can enter Domspace.

I wouldn't even say that I have a Dom drop as my Dominant side is always bubbling on the surface.

I'm also a psychological Dominant so I have a great hold on my mind as well as my emotions.

[Nocturne]

I experience it quite heavily. I'm known to be extensive with my aftercare for subs I interact with, usually coming up with more things than they think is necessary, as well as after they've had time to cool down and are able to tell me about how they felt in more detail.

Giving aftercare in those two ways, immediate and reflectional so to speak, makes it easier for me to deal with Dom drop, if their needs are met then I can also let go and see what I need. I think the heavier part of Dom drop is between the immediate and the reflectional stage of aftercare, given it's necessary for me to review a scene to feel finished with it mentally, even if they seem completely satisfied.

Dom drop for me is hard to describe, but it can feel like a physical weight, a tiredness that makes it difficult to focus. Unfortunately I also don't know what I need for myself, as most of my needs tend to revolve around their wellbeing.

[Ne****]

8 hours ago, Nocturne said:

I experience it quite heavily. I'm known to be extensive with my aftercare for subs I interact with, usually coming up with more things than they think is necessary, as well as after they've had time to cool down and are able to tell me about how they felt in more detail.

Giving aftercare in those two ways, immediate and reflectional so to speak, makes it easier for me to deal with Dom drop, if their needs are met then I can also let go and see what I need. I think the heavier part of Dom drop is between the immediate and the reflectional stage of aftercare, given it's necessary for me to review a scene to feel finished with it mentally, even if they seem completely satisfied.

Dom drop for me is hard to describe, but it can feel like a physical weight, a tiredness that makes it difficult to focus. Unfortunately I also don't know what I need for myself, as most of my needs tend to revolve around their wellbeing.

Being involved with Doms like this [You] would seemingly be dreamy for Me.
I’d greatly want to help them explore their needs and work together to figure them out! Such thoroughness as you put it is something I crave out of the (actual) relationships .

[Nocturne]

5 hours ago, NexumSange said:

Being involved with Doms like this [You] would seemingly be dreamy for Me.
I’d greatly want to help them explore their needs and work together to figure them out! Such thoroughness as you put it is something I crave out of the (actual) relationships .

I'm glad you think so, though I'm still always surprised when such things are said regarding things I do or say, I'm flattered that you and others approve of my methods, thank you!

I hope that you can find people with sufficiently thorough and caring methods that you can be involved with if that isn't the case already, best of luck!

[Iw****]

I love what I am seeing here...very open ,honest communication .
Drop for me is quite horrible at times.
Depression,self.doubt and self.pitty can all play hell.on me if I am not supported well by a good mentor and family ties. It is very difficult to describe how much a close knit community can do for a Dom or sub n this situation. It is important to those.of us who have gone through the hell .of this lifestyle from time to time. In my personal experience, just a quick.meetimg with a good solid mentor at a smoke shop and a couple fingers of Scotch will do the trick just fine. We must hold one another up in these situations amd remember that just the act.of airing your *** out to another is all.it takes.
Thank-you all for your open speech.
.

[Deleted Member]

It's usually gradual and happens in the moment for me, but I've had days where I knew I just wasn't feeling up to it. Domming is like roleplaying for me, I'm normally a pretty passive person. It takes effort and I'm not always there for it.

[Iw****]

It is an act that is stressful at times and takes some time to become one with. There will always be those days for me that I am required to go the distance even If I'm not up to it mentally,emotionally. Those are the days I lean on my subs more.
I see.aftercare as beneficial to both parties
The sub first, then the Dom. It is something i.dont hear much about but it works for me.

[pr****]

Usually the day after, the high disappears. The depression and self doubt sets in. I’m fortunate to have a partner that helps me with cuddles and reassurance. Dom aftercare is just as important as sub aftercare.

[ga****]

Friday at 09:07 AM, NerdyNoviceDom said:

It's usually gradual and happens in the moment for me, but I've had days where I knew I just wasn't feeling up to it. Domming is like roleplaying for me, I'm normally a pretty passive person. It takes effort and I'm not always there for it.

So ***fully true, at least I know how you feel

[at****]

Perhaps it’s your conscious trying to tell you this type of life leads to nowhere. No matter how hard you search for the thrill, emotional and physical satisfaction is not gained by the flesh. It’s the ultimate lie, you may think you’re being satisfied but ultimately this mind-numbing kind of lifestyle does not last and never will. It’s just that, a physical drug which only lasts so long-perhaps you are searching for answers in the wrong places trying to fill the voids of your life with a lie. That’s what it is; a show, a production of imagination with a broken foundation of emptiness in your life. An emptiness only you can fill with the one true ingredient your life needs. What’s that ingredient for you? Step out from behind the mask and look at your soul. What are you missing from your life?? Find someone who is earnestly happy, who is satisfied not only in their partner and what they do in this world and have given to others. It’s though faith which we find our ultimate gratification. Just saying.

[Do****]

3 hours ago, atlanta36309 said:

Perhaps it’s your conscious trying to tell you this type of life leads to nowhere. No matter how hard you search for the thrill, emotional and physical satisfaction is not gained by the flesh. It’s the ultimate lie, you may think you’re being satisfied but ultimately this mind-numbing kind of lifestyle does not last and never will. It’s just that, a physical drug which only lasts so long-perhaps you are searching for answers in the wrong places trying to fill the voids of your life with a lie. That’s what it is; a show, a production of imagination with a broken foundation of emptiness in your life. An emptiness only you can fill with the one true ingredient your life needs. What’s that ingredient for you? Step out from behind the mask and look at your soul. What are you missing from your life?? Find someone who is earnestly happy, who is satisfied not only in their partner and what they do in this world and have given to others. It’s though faith which we find our ultimate gratification. Just saying.

I think you might be in the wrong app 🤔

[Deleted Member]

November 5, PillowPrincess1 said:

Wouldn’t it be nice

To many people jump in and play and have no aftercare plan and they play with people who do not give a shit. There is no negotiation and planing of aftercare and that includes aftercare for the Dom as well. Not just the sub, and also not just after play.

[Do****]

DommeDelight, wait for it, I *** retribution is nigh.😱

[Pi****]

15 hours ago, Master-Pleasure said:

To many people jump in and play and have no aftercare plan and they play with people who do not give a shit. There is no negotiation and planing of aftercare and that includes aftercare for the Dom as well. Not just the sub, and also not just after play.

Precisely

[Ia****]

What type of thoughts? Like that make you a bad person thoughts?

[Deleted Member]

Sunday at 08:56 PM, IamGodess2u said:

What type of thoughts? Like that make you a bad person thoughts?

No, just doubt in my sub, and the quality of myself. I know I’m a bad person!

[ma****]

Doms need aftercare too.

[ro****]

Dom drop is real.