xxnoxx123 Posted February 20, 2022 Posted February 20, 2022 So this is the first time I've had this feeling and would love some advice from other people... I had the most incredible time playing with someone new to the scene but am feeling heavy feelings of guilt for some reason, would love it if someone would let me know if I did anything wrong or this is all in my head... We met in a party last week and bonded over our shared interest in kink, so decided that it'd be fun to exchange social medias and plan a date of later on... Fast forward to today, we meet up for a couple of drinks and have a great chemistry going on, talked for hours and decided to go back to my place... At mine we laid out what we were both comfortable with and discussed limits + safe words... Fast forward to the scene, which consisted of spanking, breast play, and some light bondage (blindfolds and tying with a belt), it goes well (with me consistently checking in too see if how she was doing and if she remembered the safeword) and she goes into subspace for a short while... After recovering I asked how she felt and she said she felt 'fuzzy' and tired, but wanted to try it from the other side, and since she seemed recovered and lively again I agreed, thinking it'd be good for her to experience both sides of the coin... It went OK and she seemed to enjoy herself and we cuddled and watched a movie together after I explained a bit about subspace and what she'd likely feel like the next day... When I took her home she suddenly become very quiet and withdrawn, but we texted afterwards and she said that she was just feeling a bit needy and surprised that she was able to be dominant... I don't know why I feel a big amount of guilt, and was hoping that people could share their thoughts as to wether I pushed her a bit by allowing her to try domming even though she had not mentally prepared for it, or wether I did anything wrong in the scene... Much love x
CopperKnob Posted February 20, 2022 Posted February 20, 2022 If she's new does she know how to deal with sub drop? Sorry that doesn't necessarily answer your question but if you're feeing guilty about how she's feeling it almost makes sense to check that she has the self care kit in case she's also dealing with drop?
xxnoxx123 Posted February 20, 2022 Author Posted February 20, 2022 3 hours ago, CopperKnob said: If she's new does she know how to deal with sub drop? Sorry that doesn't necessarily answer your question but if you're feeing guilty about how she's feeling it almost makes sense to check that she has the self care kit in case she's also dealing with drop? Yes, I made sure to explain what she'd be feeling before she left, and checked in that she had a self care kit with her at home. I think the guilt definitely is coming from seeing how she felt afterwards so that makes sense
CopperKnob Posted February 20, 2022 Posted February 20, 2022 1 hour ago, xxnoxx123 said: Yes, I made sure to explain what she'd be feeling before she left, and checked in that she had a self care kit with her at home. I think the guilt definitely is coming from seeing how she felt afterwards so that makes sense Send her this? • drink water, even if you don’t want to. • eat, even if you don’t want to. • tell people you’re dropping, even if you don’t know what else to say. • start to utilize your aftercare resources, even if you have to completely *** it and it doesn’t feel natural. • keep your phone on and respond to those checking on you. • let your loved ones know of your mental and physical state frequently, particularly when you’re asleep vs awake. • listen to your loved ones when they tell you to do something that they think or know will help you. • ask others for the words of affirmation you know you need to hear.
Th**** Posted February 20, 2022 Posted February 20, 2022 You have Dom drop my friend. Well done for putting your subs space and after care first but next you may need to work out how to combine yours with hers. Dom drop is also known by the slang term "the guilts". We all get it, it is your brain reconciling the actions you take in high Dom space from the perspective of a brain that has come back to earth. Rerun the scene, it sounds like you took all the right steps, moreover it sounds like you both enjoyed it. You have nothing to feel guilty about, it is a perfectly normal after effect and a very good sign as well. The best person to help with this is your sub just as you help her come down from her space.
Thepostman Posted March 2, 2022 Posted March 2, 2022 This thread has opened my eyes, I have definitely had Dom drop but didn't know what it was so thanks guys
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