For me a kinky date involves kink and not just normal dating aspects. This might be the conversation revolving around BDSM themes, terminology, past scenes, possibly future scenes. It might be with the anticipation of hours in the dungeon as soon as the drinks are finished. The degree of kink is Read more… less important than the fact that kink is core to the date.

Bondage and sensation play, especially multiple straps and cuffs securing them to a solid piece of dungeon furniture and inducing multiple orgasms.

Cliques exist in all walks of life and munches are no exception, but remember that a monthly gathering might be the only chance for these people to see each other and so what appears cliquey from the outside may just be seizing the opportunity. Regulars owe newcomers nothing, just as sending a Read more… message online has no obligation to reply, whether neurodivergent or not. This isn't pleasant at all but it's how things are.

Now there are ways to overcome this situation. Many organisers arrange 'Meet and Greet' sessions immediately prior to the start of the munch where nerves can be eased and basic introductions made, along with questions being answered. It's a good way to make oneself known to the hosts and explain any issues that may arise, such as shyness, social anxiety, accessibility and so on. If they don't advertise such a service then suggest it, If they don't want to organise such a thing then post in any pertinent discussion forum to try and arrange a group of first-timers to meet up beforehand and attend together.

Once at the event, think about what you have to offer. Attractive, submissive girls never want for attention - again, that's reality not necessarily desirable - but everyone else will need to stand out in order to encourage people to chat. An interesting T-shirt, witty conversation, relevant knowledge such as new playspaces opening up or useful shopping locations; it takes effort but to enter a clique one has to step out of comfort zones sometimes, and the best way to do that is to have something unique and worthy of attention. Don't hog conversations. As mentioned previously other guests might be there to meet their friends and not plan on making new friends. Even the hosts will have plenty of distractions rather than hand-holding newbies.

Remember that no-one present - host, regular, newcomer - owes anyone anything bar normal respect and politeness, whether ND or not. It's the same online and it's the same at commercial events. Many kinksters are decent folk who will not deliberately exclude people but neither will (or should) they break off from what they planned or were enjoying to accommodate new guests. A second or subsequent visit, or seeing someone from another event, is a good way to break the ice, reminiscing about other gatherings.

It's tricky to break into local scenes, unless you have something special to offer, but obviously it's achievable as those cliques had to start somewhere! Patience and perseverance are your friends; don't expect instant results but don't give up either.

Hosted a Sensations play party, promoted through Fetish.com, at my house. Over twenty people attended and much fun was had. Already planning the next one.