If you can’t find someone near you.

[Naughtyswitch29]

I’ve been struggling with finding someone near me that is compatible

[Carnelian2]

open your horizons and you may be surprised

[ey****]

where have you been looking?

remember - it's a long game all told

[Naughtyswitch29]

In my city. I am willing to look outside the city if they think they are fine with a long distance relationship. I recently got scammed though, so I lost a ton of *** and self proclaimed mistresses, who would be interested in also want tributes.

Edited August 22, 2019 by Lonelyguy1

[ey****]

but where in the city?

online? did you stand on a street corner looking for people that looked kinky? did you go to a munch or fetish event?

[Naughtyswitch29]

Online. Munches are fine. I have attended them, but all the new members seem to want to always participate in the local dungeon events and I am just not sure if those scenes are for me. It’s also complicated to just go out and have fun when you live at home. I am 27, but my mom is used to me always telling her where I am going.

Edited August 22, 2019 by Lonelyguy1

[Naughtyswitch29]

Oh and I should add that I am not looking for a sub or a dom, but a switch or a fetishist.

[ey****]

simply - it is hard to find someone : and being too general can come across as desperate and being too picky can narrow down potential partners - so it's about getting a balance you're happy with and accepting this may take a while

[Carnelian2]

My earlier comment might have seemed a bit "off the cuff", but the people I have met both D/s and otherwise have not been limited to the area where I live. In fact, I have met some great people and had insights into different cultures and ways of living as a result. You might also find that your "interests" change as you get more involved. 

 

[Mi****]

I have been in this lifestyle for 15+ years, I met my boy 7 years ago this month. That means I had 8+ years where I was looking. It takes a while to find the right one for you

[Naughtyswitch29]

On 8/22/2019 at 5:13 PM, eyemblacksheep said:

simply - it is hard to find someone : and being too general can come across as desperate and being too picky can narrow down potential partners - so it's about getting a balance you're happy with and accepting this may take a while

I don’t try to be picky, but like everyone, I have a type. Also, I don’t quite understand what you mean by being too general can come across as desperate.

[Naughtyswitch29]

13 hours ago, MissTillysue said:

I have been in this lifestyle for 15+ years, I met my boy 7 years ago this month. That means I had 8+ years where I was looking. It takes a while to find the right one for you

I understand what you are saying. I’m glad you finally found who you were looking for.

[ey****]

8 hours ago, Lonelyguy1 said:

I don’t try to be picky, but like everyone, I have a type.

that's fine - of course, we all do.   But, of course the more specific your type the harder to find someone - that's just something to accept.

8 hours ago, Lonelyguy1 said:

I don’t quite understand what you mean by being too general can come across as desperate.

Not really you, but you get other guys whether it's "I'll do anything" or "I'm a Dom but will sub to the right person" or so on...

[Naughtyswitch29]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

that's fine - of course, we all do.   But, of course the more specific your type the harder to find someone - that's just something to accept.

Not really you, but you get other guys whether it's "I'll do anything" or "I'm a Dom but will sub to the right person" or so on...

Well I know I am not just solely a dom, and I have been contacted by mistresses (or scammers), who want me as their sub. I make it clear though that I don’t just want to be a submissive or a slave. If they decide they are fine with switching, that is up to them.

[Mz****]

I think if it were easy they'd be little use for sites like this, I've been single and looking for an appropriate partner for over 3 years now, but I refuse to settle for anyone less than I deserve, and I'm patient..and quite enjoying the looking..it sucks for you that your not, but you have to find a way to make peace with it or you'll drive yourself insane.

It's interesting you refer to Mistresses both without the capital the word deserves, and in the same breath as the word scammer, looks like you're seeing only what you want to see..and when you don't get your way you call scammer/fake..

[Carnelian2]

On 8/24/2019 at 1:07 PM, Lonelyguy1 said:

Well I know I am not just solely a dom, and I have been contacted by mistresses (or scammers), who want me as their sub. I make it clear though that I don’t just want to be a submissive or a slave. If they decide they are fine with switching, that is up to them.

Ok, that is fair enough, but if you want to be a Switch, then look for a Switch. You will have to accept that if a Domme/Mistress/Goddess says that she does not switch or change roles, then she does not. In terms of building a relationship, well, meet someone and establish contact - then take it from there, and be prepared for a few ones that simply does not work out.

When things does not work out, though, that can have as much to do with you finding out what you actually do want as the chemistry not being there.