Slut/ whore....

[msfergy-red]

Is it common to want to be language such as whore/slut to be used but when in wrong mindset can be negative?
How do you get balance right as when in the right moment makes you tremble but can be equally negative if wrong moment
With a sir who isn't also comfortable with certain language

[Fu****]

Absolutely. It's all about your surrounding and timing. And the control your partner has in the moment to use such language. 🖤

[Al****]

Tones of voices play a huge part. Also read your partners body language and intent behind saying/hearing triggering words

[Li****]

1000%!!🫠😅
I thought I'd never allow or enjoy this language and always identify it as overly degrading, even objectified, dehumanising, just vile for the person to even want to use.
Maybe that is because I do like old fashioned values, manners, morals, or identify it from hearing it being used in a nasty way.

But either way or whatever the reason may be, that has since changed. I personally think it's all to do with the person, mood, tone even it's used in. I've had men call me it and just switched off and turned away from it all. But then recently, I've had men say it, and it seems more personalised between us. Intimate, romanticised even?

Not being the Domme and/or just not knowing all of the answers and literally just knowing my own experiences, I'd guess it's just knowing how and hugely, the depth/connection between you and the said person! (Can be magic, of course🥰)

I'm sorry I couldn't help more and could only really agree with your feelings on the matter!😸😅🙈

[Deleted Member]

I think the biggest distinguishing factor is the transparency. If both parties are aware of this tendency/kink in their partner they should both be comfortable enough to set the guidelines.

If you're not mature enough for that conversation/setting clear boundaries, then you've got a lot of missionary and growing to do before you explore this higher level of intimacy.

I think it's fully natural and even more authentic to have these base urges as a human, but you have to be very cautious with who you share that level of vulnerability with. If you can't respect someone on a non-sensual level and carry bedroom politics outside then you are not being fair to your partner

[Am****]

I think if your really in sink with your partner you should get if their just dirty talking on more. From a dominant male side I used both side of these words. At time I want to insulate shame my woman and at time she loves it. Being in sink and knowing they move you deep down key. I have a shame and *** kink. I’m carful on knowing ware the line is and if they seam. Upset or sad to stop it right away.

[Deleted Member]

It is very common. I rather enjoy when Sir refers to me as his slut and whore. It makes me melt all over the place especially when he asks me "Are you Daddy's wanton little slut/whore??" I love answering "Yes, Daddy." I've never experienced him doing so while in the wrong mindset and it has never come off as negative to me because even while he degrades me, I crave for him to refer to me as such. If a Sir isn't comfortable with referring to you as such, find out what he is comfortable referring to you as. Make it work, my friend and then maybe one day, he will surprise you with such pleasures. Best of luck and warmth 💋.

[Ki****]

I cannot stand those words and would never find them arousing. But many who are into ***, or whatever the words trigger for them, enjoy their use. I would think about the feeling they trigger for you. ***, submission, ownership… how do the words fit into your kink? What do you like and not like about them? Once you know why you like them, it will be much easier to read the situation and see if it applies, if you are in the right headspace to hear them and play with them. 

[Ba****]

Normally, for me, I can't be degraded when I'm depressed or my anxiety is high. Both are, of course, different for everyone. My Doms would be informed on how both can look. Also, I normally have us both go over what we want to happen in the scene.

[dook]

As a submissive male, I love being called  names like: bitch, hole, princess, cumslut, Missy, cockwhore. Especially, when I am the recipient of her large strapon orally and anally.

[msfergy-red]

Such helpful comments, especially knowing am not alone in sometimes been ok with those names and maybe sometimes now. It's great when your fully connected and in sync with each other but that takes time I think so it's a journey.
I may have a hand signal to use when it may not be having the required effect it could do

[msfergy-red]

December 19, nootmoosie said:

I think the biggest distinguishing factor is the transparency. If both parties are aware of this tendency/kink in their partner they should both be comfortable enough to set the guidelines.

If you're not mature enough for that conversation/setting clear boundaries, then you've got a lot of missionary and growing to do before you explore this higher level of intimacy.

I think it's fully natural and even more authentic to have these base urges as a human, but you have to be very cautious with who you share that level of vulnerability with. If you can't respect someone on a non-sensual level and carry bedroom politics outside then you are not being fair to your partner

Thank you for your reply. Although I do disagree with some of your comments if that's ok to mention. I need to explore these areas .. I would love to know exactly what I want and my limits and those who are that lucky to know this from the start. I unfortunately need a slow journey of discovery and without testing some of this I won't know. I feel using words like not mature enough are a bit harsh. I feel I have come a long way and been able to communicate this kind of issue show's my maturity into this journey