My first, I'm sorry, and thank you

[cr****]

 

There I was, looking for some change.

You saw me and asked if I'd like to try something new. With you.

Both excited and nervous, I explained I hadn't done this with anyone before.

The idea of pleasing ourselves in front of each other, 

intimate in a way I never thought, 

exciting and in my mind, awkward.

We spent several days trying to find a time that worked.

One or the other busy. Separated by time zones.

But online allowed for those things to matter less.

For days small texts between us,

images and videos from you. A tease for me. 

Exposing me to new things I never thought I'd enjoy.

One night, alone, I began on my own when you texted. "Do you have time now?"

Yes! I replied.

We went for a while, I was mesmerized. I tried to speak but I suspect I did not.

I found it stimulating and daunting. 

Playing with myself, while watching you.

Trying to hold a camera and manipulate your toy.

As we - I thought - approached a climax (?) the phone seemed to fall and go blank. 

I watched wondering what had happened. 

Disconnected? 

Accidental hangup?
Nothing.

I sent a message saying you were hot and asking for feedback in case we did it again.

Nothing.

The next morning I woke and searched for a repl.

Only to find that I had been blocked.

There was no way for me to know,

had done something so horribly wrong you wanted nothing more from me, 

or if perhaps, this was your intention all along.

I sat there waiting, looking for a clue

a note, or if you would reach out.

Nothing.

I realized I didn't know your name, and in truth we shared little of ourselves.

I wanted to but thought perhaps not.

It seems we weren't even the start of friends. 

Or again I screwed something up.

I'm sorry.

I'm frustrated that you didn't say goodbye even if you told me I sucked.

I'm not mad at you, I hold no grudge.

I thank you for at least trying to give me something new.

You will be remembered as my first, 

and regardless of what happened, 

you have a special place with me.

Edited May 26 by creswell687493
Missing part of text.

[Da****]

Sadly this is all too common these days and I feel for you or the protagonist in this story. I believe the new term for this type of behavior is called ghosting, no indication is given, no evidence or thoughts as to why they left, not only are we left heartbroken 💔 and shocked 😳 but were confused 🤔 and entirely at a loss of what to do next or how process our feelings. The best thing I’ve come to understand about it is to sweep it under the rug like the other person did and keep on going with life. You can review every detail and see what may or may not have changed but the outcome remains the same because the person you started to care about is gone.

[cr****]

12 minutes ago, Daddy253 said:

Sadly this is all too common these days and I feel for you or the protagonist in this story. I believe the new term for this type of behavior is called ghosting, no indication is given, no evidence or thoughts as to why they left, not only are we left heartbroken 💔 and shocked 😳 but were confused 🤔 and entirely at a loss of what to do next or how process our feelings. The best thing I’ve come to understand about it is to sweep it under the rug like the other person did and keep on going with life. You can review every detail and see what may or may not have changed but the outcome remains the same because the person you started to care about is gone.

Yes, that's pretty much how I felt. Writing this actually helped me process it as well. Maybe I'm old school but I try to always say something before completely disappearing if we've done something I or they may consider intimate. I really don't have bad feelings about them. Reviewing it I have to be honest that nothing was really said by either of us either way. More just not knowing. If they reached out I'd be excited to talk again, but life goes on. I did notice every time a Snap Chat popped on my screen I was excited at the thought it might be them ... so a little processing still.

[Da****]

Old school or just the decent thing to do, I agree with you on that 100%, even if it’s a simple, I’m sorry I’m not interested anymore or I’m not feeling a connection. Of course we would ask again, “Why?” Or “What did we do?” But at least we received some sort of response.

[Mi****]

As a male sub, especially a new one, you’re going to be taken advantage of.
There’s a lot of women or even men pretending to be women that see male subs as easy prey. They try to extort *** or get you to do or send them videos that the could use to blackmail you.
Be very careful when trying to find a Dominant woman. Get to know them first before agreeing to anything. Set yourself boundaries to avoid getting hurt like that again. Sorry for your ***.

[Vi****]

You got ghosted on a dating app. I can remember how this feels, sincerely, but you really gotta get that skin thickened up mate.

I’m genuinely not trying to puff my chest, trust me I know all about overinvesting, but you’re risking a lot of *** if you get carried away too quickly with someone you’ve “met” on a dating app (FET is still one of those).

It’s a bummer and you’ve every right to feel disappointed, but if you’re at the point of poetic prose after a matter of days you’re giving too much too soon.

You’re worthwhile, you’re valid and you don’t need a D to prove it. You got this brother 💙

[cr****]

1 hour ago, PervyPenelope said:

As a male sub, especially a new one, you’re going to be taken advantage of.
There’s a lot of women or even men pretending to be women that see male subs as easy prey. They try to extort *** or get you to do or send them videos that the could use to blackmail you.
Be very careful when trying to find a Dominant woman. Get to know them first before agreeing to anything. Set yourself boundaries to avoid getting hurt like that again. Sorry for your ***.

Thanks, yes I've been learning that there are a lot of "dominants" who are not always on the level - I've encountered a few scams, and some who legit or not didn't like that Findom and monetary tokens were of no interest to me. I had two wives who did that to me back to back I don't need that anymore! LOL.

I am interested in seeing what its like to be a sub and I'm trying to learn more so I can better understand if its a "sub" or just some aspects that draw me, more of a collection of kinks perhaps.

In this case though she wasn't presenting as a Dominant and like I said, it hurt, a little still, but I'm not holding grudges. I really don't know what happened so easier to just let it go and remember her fondly as the first I did this with no matter how awkward I felt - another first for me actually.

[cr****]

11 minutes ago, Vic_the_Conqueror said:

You got ghosted on a dating app. I can remember how this feels, sincerely, but you really gotta get that skin thickened up mate.

I’m genuinely not trying to puff my chest, trust me I know all about overinvesting, but you’re risking a lot of *** if you get carried away too quickly with someone you’ve “met” on a dating app (FET is still one of those).

It’s a bummer and you’ve every right to feel disappointed, but if you’re at the point of poetic prose after a matter of days you’re giving too much too soon.

You’re worthwhile, you’re valid and you don’t need a D to prove it. You got this brother 💙

Thanks, I needed that Laugh regarding prose.

Yeh I have a tendency to over invest, and honestly I was a little surprised in this case. There were various comments that reminded me that this person seemed kind but I didn't really know where it would go and I was OK with it. So I don't hold anything against her really. I had plenty of opportunities to talk more too.

I've had other apps where people ghosted me and what not, but only after a few texts or maybe  lunch. This was a bit more intimate, at least for me. But you are correct, it happens and I should get over it and toughen my skin! 

 

[Vi****]

7 minutes ago, creswell687493 said:

Thanks, I needed that Laugh regarding prose.

Yeh I have a tendency to over invest, and honestly I was a little surprised in this case. There were various comments that reminded me that this person seemed kind but I didn't really know where it would go and I was OK with it. So I don't hold anything against her really. I had plenty of opportunities to talk more too.

I've had other apps where people ghosted me and what not, but only after a few texts or maybe  lunch. This was a bit more intimate, at least for me. But you are correct, it happens and I should get over it and toughen my skin! 

 

I’m glad you haven’t taken that as my being cold, unfortunately ghosting is a massive contributor to the throwaway nature of dating apps.

The real conundrum is; toughening up and holding back on someone you’ve matched with on a dating app *makes* you see them as less important, because it protects you against hurt. Further down the line….maybe you’ll be so entrenched in this mindset that you end up ghosting people yourself?

🤔

Dating apps f*cking suck but they’re too convenient to dismiss. Ah fuck it, I’m gonna go back to going up to women in bars and asking them what their star sign is 😎 what could go wrong!?

[cr****]

20 minutes ago, Vic_the_Conqueror said:

Dating apps f*cking suck but they’re too convenient to dismiss. Ah fuck it, I’m gonna go back to going up to women in bars and asking them what their star sign is 😎 what could go wrong!?

Ah the good old days before people didn't need to go out and meet face to face! LOL I haven't done that in so long - not even sure where to begin. I was talking to some guys I know around 25 up to just over my age who basically said, nope, done, I'm happy alone when they thought about dating in today's world.

I know when I first started using apps, I replied to everyone... and then slowly started not replying to anyone I wasn't interested in. So I can see how it happens. Ultimately its all good. "Whats your sign"... do people still ask that?

 

[Mi****]

3 hours ago, Vic_the_Conqueror said:

I’m glad you haven’t taken that as my being cold, unfortunately ghosting is a massive contributor to the throwaway nature of dating apps.

The real conundrum is; toughening up and holding back on someone you’ve matched with on a dating app *makes* you see them as less important, because it protects you against hurt. Further down the line….maybe you’ll be so entrenched in this mindset that you end up ghosting people yourself?

🤔

Dating apps f*cking suck but they’re too convenient to dismiss. Ah fuck it, I’m gonna go back to going up to women in bars and asking them what their star sign is 😎 what could go wrong!?

Hahahah love it

[Mi****]

3 hours ago, creswell687493 said:

Thanks, yes I've been learning that there are a lot of "dominants" who are not always on the level - I've encountered a few scams, and some who legit or not didn't like that Findom and monetary tokens were of no interest to me. I had two wives who did that to me back to back I don't need that anymore! LOL.

I am interested in seeing what its like to be a sub and I'm trying to learn more so I can better understand if its a "sub" or just some aspects that draw me, more of a collection of kinks perhaps.

In this case though she wasn't presenting as a Dominant and like I said, it hurt, a little still, but I'm not holding grudges. I really don't know what happened so easier to just let it go and remember her fondly as the first I did this with no matter how awkward I felt - another first for me actually.

Even wanting to try out aspects of being a sub will make you a target and remember, there’s going to be women who probably won’t just want to be there for you to just try out stuff.

[co****]

I've found a few meet in person and still ghost. Todays throw away nation extends onto people too. Expect im just too old for todays level of disregard. Meeting in public face to face, chats maybe food or drink leaving onto that casual heated closeness, sly kiss with passion rising.

On and offline the first messages whatever goes but after some dialogue, hours days weeks.. ghosting highlights their low self esteem or unable to articulate. Compassion and empathy is rock bottom in the world which leaks into social apps like dating imo.

What doesn't kill you could make you either colder or stronger so keep smiling. Personally i believe in fate, so keep smiling x

[iT****]

This just happened to me so I can relate and the nearest resolution I can come for me is to is mourn for some days and process. For me that’s journal and genuinely consider at MOST three ways I could have done better and then get back on the horse because there’s cool people out there I’ve got to meet. For you it looks like well crafted posts and a dash of community and that’s awesome. God s***d brother, learn what you can and leave the rest behind because there’s cool people out there to meet