Carnelian2 Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 45 minutes ago, Fredddy said: Question: Carnelian2. What happened to Carnelian1? And what is a carnelian? I’m just curious and I don’t want to google it. I probably wouldn’t get the correct meaning or explanation anyway. @Fredddy You are spot on. I read somewhere that we are still progammed as we were in pre-historic times. The implication is that our first response is usually not the right one. I always try to take some time out, think, count to 10 or whatever. If the initial response then still applies, I will act on it. Most of the time, it does not and that saves a lot of conflicts. Now on the Carnelian2 - I created the ID many years ago and this was the suggestion, apparently Carnelian and Carnelian1 were taken :D. Carnelian is a crystal - deep dark orange and a crystal is good for balancing all seven Chakras but is particularly good for the heart. I like the colour.
ey**** Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 14 hours ago, Fredddy said: had somebody tell me recently that I’m a kinkster but I’m not BDSM I've been having some brain wibbles this week - a little bit of "am I really a sub" kinda thing (I mean, I'm *not* a sub... I'm a switch....) but more so, when I play to the right of the slash, like... what am I? And it doesn't matter. My next play is in 2 weeks time and at that point when I've got a foot in my mouth, or being pissed on or whatever - it doesn't matter if I'm a sub or a switch or whatever? Are we all enjoying it?
qu**** Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 When you consider BDSM is Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism, and a various multitude of sub-catagories, there's not really any confusion, they can all be classed as BDSM, I imagine purists would say you have to be in all categories to be classed as in the BDSM scene, personally I think if you enjoy one part or all parts it's BDSM, and whilst the actual act of sex may not happen, endorphins and such are still produced in the same way, making it sexual, of course this will always come down to a personal opinion,
Cade Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 Sometimes, the acts of BDSM can be sex. As a sadist, I can achieve a form of orgasm from S/M play (what we call a sado-gasm). This is accomplished with minimal to no actual sexual contact (as well, should note that doesn't typically produce ejaculate). For me, this form of sexuality can actually supercede regular sex, and often ends up being far more intense. Arousal starts in the brain, and considering this, it's easy to see how BDSM can not ONLY be about sex.
Maggys-7885 Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 Can u tell me how do I start practicing BDSM?
Deleted Member Posted January 29, 2020 Author Posted January 29, 2020 On 1/18/2020 at 11:58 AM, eyemblacksheep said: - it doesn't matter if I'm a sub or a switch or whatever? Are we all enjoying it? LazyPirate got it pretty much spot on when he said he has two criteria for play: Is it safe, and are we having fun? Brilliant! Black Sheep, your comments are always well thought out and well presented. Thank you. You’ve become a very trusted friend on this site. It seems that you’ve had similar thoughts to myself in that you’ve wondered why we have to categorise, label and put people in certain pigeonholes. We’re also different, aren’t we? Ultimately, all that matters is: Is what we are doing safe? Are we having fun? Thank you Pirate…
qu**** Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 20 minutes ago, Maggys said: Can u tell me how do I start practicing BDSM? Just start chatting in the chatrooms and forums, look through the articles in the magazine here, and ,well just take it from there, and try to avoid random messages from people you haven't chatted with, all here are friendly and helpful in the main
ey**** Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 I think there can be importance in categorising - but then it can also come with it's own problems. I've had a lot of struggles over time and a lot of things to get my head around and sometimes it's important to try to level things. 2 years ago I was a bit of a mess. I was at a filming weekend and I was on a proper low. I'd thought about pulling out - though, then I would have been sat at home wishing I'd gone. Anyway, a few circumstances had really messed my finances and going to this filming weekend was going to mean tightening my belt and being rather inactive for a little while (3 months in the end - but then that was followed by another immediate 3 month break) and, actually, a lot I couldn't complain about but I wasn't in a good head space. And so there were these pure *** sluts and they got a lot of attention because they could take a lot of ***. There was a sissy who got a lot of attention because while a lot of views can vary, well-mannered and clued up sissies are often fun and popular. And there was someone else who had effectively paid extra to be there to get more scenes (which he could then resell as part of this agreement) and there were a couple of other guys there who weren't filming but were very subservient and helpful and so again the Mistresses made sure they got some attention between scenes. And I started looking at all of these other guys and I'm like; I'm not a *** slut, not wealthy, not a sissy, not this overly subservant - where the fuck do I fit? And it messed my mind for quite a while... and, I dunno. There were all told a couple of moments from that weekend I can look back on fondly - so - does it even matter?
qwertytothemax Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 Saw my old post on this forum and wow old me was pretty cringe lol. Anyways I still believe that you can practice BDSM without anything sexual occurring. To me, the act of submission doesn't even have anything to do with sex. It is a mindset that a person enters where they release any of their desires and focus on the desires of their Dom/Domme, and those desires don't have to be sexual. For instance, if s was told by their D to go to the store and get some groceries, then to come home and mow the lawn, then have dinner ready by 5 PM, is this still considered a BDSM relationship even though nothing sexual occurred? I think it is a BDSM relationship because the s is willingly spending their time serving a D. Of course, sex could be the reward for following orders, but I don't think it defines whether something is or is not considered BDSM. Just my two cents.
Deleted Member Posted January 30, 2020 Author Posted January 30, 2020 11 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: I think there can be importance in categorising - but then it can also come with it's own problems. I've had a lot of struggles over time and a lot of things to get my head around and sometimes it's important to try to level things. 2 years ago I was a bit of a mess. I was at a filming weekend and I was on a proper low. I'd thought about pulling out - though, then I would have been sat at home wishing I'd gone. Anyway, a few circumstances had really messed my finances and going to this filming weekend was going to mean tightening my belt and being rather inactive for a little while (3 months in the end - but then that was followed by another immediate 3 month break) and, actually, a lot I couldn't complain about but I wasn't in a good head space. And so there were these pure *** sluts and they got a lot of attention because they could take a lot of ***. There was a sissy who got a lot of attention because while a lot of views can vary, well-mannered and clued up sissies are often fun and popular. And there was someone else who had effectively paid extra to be there to get more scenes (which he could then resell as part of this agreement) and there were a couple of other guys there who weren't filming but were very subservient and helpful and so again the Mistresses made sure they got some attention between scenes. And I started looking at all of these other guys and I'm like; I'm not a *** slut, not wealthy, not a sissy, not this overly subservant - where the fuck do I fit? And it messed my mind for quite a while... and, I dunno. There were all told a couple of moments from that weekend I can look back on fondly - so - does it even matter? Wow that’s really deep eyem! It doesn’t reflect like you now and you must have swim back hard! i don’t think your Domme did it on purpose or realise you were hurt inside. She might saw you as a strong sub. We could oversee this or maybe don’t want to deal too much with it. As a Dom we also have some moments when the needy is too much, it’s draining and rather focus on something more energising. Just a thought
ey**** Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 9 hours ago, FabSeverus said: Wow that’s really deep eyem! It doesn’t reflect like you now and you must have swim back hard! i don’t think your Domme did it on purpose or realise you were hurt inside. She might saw you as a strong sub. We could oversee this or maybe don’t want to deal too much with it. As a Dom we also have some moments when the needy is too much, it’s draining and rather focus on something more energising. Just a thought Nothing was deliberate I think but filming events can sometimes be more chaotic than others. But also aside from this I was really struggling apart from anything that was going on. That been said; some of the organisation that weekend was slapdash and I gave some feedback on how to be better organised which was somewhat taken on board. But yeah; I know sometimes I come across overly confident (it's much easier behind a keyboard!) I've had a lot of my own struggles so there's some stuff I identify with a lot
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