Photos

Personal details

Gender Woman
Age 45
Status Single
Height 154cm
Body shape Curvy
Eye colour Blue
Hair colour Redhead
Hair length Middle
Orientation Straight
Ethnicity Caucasian white
Origin England
Body hair None
Zodiac sign Pisces
Glasses
Smoker
Tattoos
Piercings

About me

Interested in:

I’m looking for:

Description

The traits I look for in a Dominant go against the grain of the role. Just as subs need incredible strength, Dominants need gentleness and humility. A top accepts control. A sociopath demands it. A Dominant though? They earn it. The only way a Dom will ever earn power over me is by showing me that he would never demand it.
.
Dominance is not a label. It’s a verdict. It's something I feel in my bones, in my breath, in the way my body responds. It draws submission out of me. It never demands it. I'll give up my power because I trust a person with my vulnerability. D/s is intensely intimate, and I won't engage with it until I know you'll hold it gently. Safety, it transpires, is one hell of an aphrodisiac.
.
I want a vanilla man: someone who dates me before he considers dominating me; who begins with conversations, not floggers; who gets to know me by talking to me, not fucking me. I want someone who knows people matter, that love matters, that I matter. If I wanted to be ordered around in a role-playing arrangement, I would create an OF and gain an income from it. I don't. I want someone to love who loves me; someone who feels like home; someone who is home.
.
I want a man who makes mistakes: The type who’s intimately acquainted with his own weaknesses and who doesn’t see admitting fault as a loss. I want a man who walks beside me, not one who positions himself as though we’re at war. Someone who tells the truth, not because he might get caught in a lie, but because honesty matters to him. It matters because he can't respect himself any other way. No person can evolve without the capacity to be honest with themselves, and no relationship can evolve until the hardest truths are known.
.
I write and post on the forums. A lot. When I was new I read and read but nothing really spoke to me. It was all very black and white, theoretical and serious. BDSM is serious stuff but it should also be full of fun and light. It's a romance, not a religion. In the beginning, I spoke with people who told me that this was no different to vanilla dating and it is. It's not the same at all. I needed to read about other peoples experiences, how they felt because, I feel that I might have been able to relate to it. I needed something tangible. I still do.
So I write the things that I'd have liked to have read from my experience so far in the hope others find it useful but also to get the thoughts out of my head and into some sort of logical form. Some will be reflections on my experiences, some will questioning, others will simply be sarcasm, making light of the "lifestyle"
.
if you want to know more about me, maybe have a read.
.
Writing on Fet though has taught me that everyone reads through their own lens. No matter how hard you polish those glasses, people will apply their own tint to everything they see. Everyone seems to carry their own agenda around with them like a shopping trolley. Then they unpack the contents in everyone else's kitchen because it will be about them no matter what.
.
Few people put work into their online reading. They unpack that creaky old trolley with it's wonky wheel before they've even read the first line. I'm certain some of them don't even bother reading the post before disagreeing with it. Quite frankly, I'm quite tired of being manipulated into conversations I never signed up for. I am responsible for what I say, not what you read.
.
Please send icecream

Limits

.
Pseudo Dom's
Fuckboi's
People who lack awareness or respect re consent
People who lack respect re boundaries/limits
People who are rigid in their thoughts about D/s

Fetish.com gives you…


Many possibilities! There are plenty of ways to meet new kinksters. Check out our free BDSM dating. Still not convinced to meet in person? Take a look at some kinky discussions taking place, right now...

CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
But, it is your version of submission?

I like the paint by numbers metaphor. Sometimes life can feel that way, ticking off achievements that society/cultural norms says you should.

Likedoubletrouble129, ThaliaV, Puppy6411 · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Respect is given and earned

Trust and respect are two very different things.
Both are earnt in different ways over time but for me everyone has a starting point.
No one should be trusted outright just because of how they identify eg D/s
Its like saying "I'm a Police Officer so trust me"

LikeToni_Ezekiel, Sedwolt57, NexumSangeand 7 more… · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob has picked up their birthday gift
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob picked up the birthday gift
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Ghosting - Let’s be Open and Honest Instead

For me, sometimes being clear is being kind. Making people play guessing games isn't.
I was out last night and someone I don't know offered me a drink which I declined. He came back with a soft drink which he gave me two options, accept it or leave it and walk away.
The first teaches him that Read more… persistence pays off when someone says no. The latter makes me look rude. I'd rather be rude and safe than unclear/send mixed messages.
I saw nothing wrong with how the individual handled the situation in Eyems first example.
NB before anyone says it, ghosting is a clear signal.

LikeAranhis, 4RCH, ThaliaV · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
But, it is your version of submission?

Not only that they're now being used as a means to slide into people's DM's 🤣

CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Humiliate my wife, make her our slave bitch

Fantasy or not, I will die on this bloody hill, literally.
Why are we, a community that apparently prides itself on open communication, transparency blah bloody blah, so unable to understand the simple premise of consent.
Rhetorical.

LikeAranhis, Devon286 · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
But, it is your version of submission?

So many times I've said, Doms should be posting here too, not just about their woes or desires, but offering guidance
It's telling that the most 'popular' threads of late aren't really kink related but simply about sex.

Likeindulgewithcare, havin88, ThaliaVand 1 more… · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
But, it is your version of submission?

🤣
Absolutely, I agree.
Though, I see many posts here by those that either romanticise D/s or people who've gone along with whatever has been said to them in messages (specifically) without any thought before feelings are hurt and often simply due to naivety.
We all need to think before we act or Read more… deal with the consequences.

Likeindulgewithcare, ThaliaV · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Search for books about blackmail

That's not how consent works?

LikeAranhis, MGVelvet · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Search for books about blackmail

So, non-consensual activities?

CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Ghosting - Let’s be Open and Honest Instead

I think, it's important to remember is that this 'world' is no different to any other 'world'
We're all human beings and it's clear that people have different definition as to what ghosting actually is.
Nevertheless, ghosting is absolutely necessary in certain circumstances, specifically around Read more… safety.

Likeeyemblacksheep, giraut, Aranhis · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Ghosting - Let’s be Open and Honest Instead

In fairness, I do work in environments that I can't wear a smartwatch let alone have a phone with me. Even a laptop for work purposes, I need to gain permission for. Granted, not everyone will work in those environments but, some of us do.
I'm not available 24/7 and I don't expect anyone else to Read more… be available 24/7 it's not healthy to be attached to our various technologies all the time. Real life is happening around us and we're missing out on it because of tech. Perhaps I'm old 🤷‍♀️
What I would add however is, for me, it very much depends on the context of the chat. There are people here I consider friends and we'll periodically drop in and out of conversation. Then there are those where we've gotten to the point of discussing meeting in real life who'll disappear for a few days without acknowledgement. Those are the ones that I will leave be because that's not my communication style.
We all have different needs when we're communicating and often that'll be dependent upon the type of relationship we're in or what we hope the relationship will develop into.
It may be rude but it's not ghosting as discussed above.

CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob created a topic in New to BDSM, Kink & Fetish?
But, it is your version of submission?
Is it?
.
Or, re you acting out someone else’s definition of submission because you read what submission is in romance novel?
.
Are you imitating someone else's version of submission because it's what they want?
.
Are you kneeling because that’s what other people do? Or, does it mean something to Read more…you?
.
Why do you want that collar? What purpose does it serve? What meaning does it have for you?
.
What does that honorific mean? Why was it chosen, is it just something that they've used before? Are you comfortable with it?
.
Are you as happy to do those 'tasks' as it makes the person giving them to you?
.
It’s okay to be meek, subservient, and follow along if that’s what moves you.
My question is, does it?
.
Are you too frightened to live out your own version of D/s in case you lose the person you love?
.
Are you too scared of setting and upholding your boundaries in case you miss out on 'the one'?
.
Is this a version of submission that is meeting your desires and needs?
Or, are you living up to someone else’s expectations because you think that’s what you have to do to call yourself a sub?
.
If it’s the latter, this will not end well for you. Believe me. I’ve been there. I think most of us have when its new to us. Coerced D/s requires you to give up more than just your body. You end up giving up your identity as well. How do you think that that plays out when the relationship ends? Because it will.
.
Does your submission feel oppressive?
Or, do you feel free?
.
Are you unapologetically you?
Or, are you simply central to someone else’s desires?
.
Have you agreed to all elements of your relationship? Or, is it more of a dictatorship?
.
Are your needs, wants and desires being met? Or, are the needs, wants and desires of the other person more important?
.
Do you see someone you no longer recognise when looking in the mirror? If so, it's not your version of submission.
Likezlvstkyft, AmyVi, ThaliaVand 24 more… · 14 Replies
TheBookCollector
TheBookCollector ➦TheBookCollector quote ThaliaV:❝Those are good topic recommendations, however she said Doms not men. Not all Dominants are men ❞
Very true, i phrased my response incorrectly however, statistically speaking the majority of dominants are men. ➦TheBookCollector quote ThaliaV:❝Those are good topic recommendations, however she said Doms not men. Not all Dominants are men ❞
Very true, i phrased my response incorrectly however, statistically speaking the majority of dominants are men.
LikeCopperKnob · 27.02.2024 6:36:33
ThaliaV
ThaliaV ➦ThaliaV quote TheBookCollector:❝I agree there should be more males posting and not just about kinks amd fetishes but about how people can check someone is safe, how to spot red flags, basic first meeting etiquette etc.❞
Those are good topic recommendations, however she said Doms not men. Not all Dominants are men ➦ThaliaV quote TheBookCollector:❝I agree there should be more males posting and not just about kinks amd fetishes but about how people can check someone is safe, how to spot red flags, basic first meeting etiquette etc.❞
Those are good topic recommendations, however she said Doms not men. Not all Dominants are men
Likedoubletrouble129, CopperKnob · 27.02.2024 1:02:18
CopperKnob
CopperKnob ➦CopperKnob quote Puppy6411:❝These are the big questions for any relationship, and life in general.
Are you painting-by-numbers, or experiencing the joy of painting - Bob Ross style
We all need a space where we feel nurtured, cared for and able to grow into our best version of ourselves - and not Read more… have to worry, or make justifications to anyone who cares about us, for our actions. ❞
I like the paint by numbers metaphor. Sometimes life can feel that way, ticking off achievements that society/cultural norms says you should.
Likedoubletrouble129, ThaliaV, Puppy6411 · 26.02.2024 22:34:27
Show more 3 of 14
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Protocols in this world?

Specifically search the forums for sub frenzy.

Likecentralpark · Jump to discussion