Photos

Personal details

Gender Woman
Age 44
Status Single
Height 154cm
Body shape Curvy
Eye colour Blue
Hair colour Redhead
Hair length Middle
Orientation Straight
Ethnicity Caucasian white
Origin England
Body hair None
Zodiac sign Pisces
Glasses
Smoker
Tattoos
Piercings

About me

Interested in:

I’m looking for:

Description

The traits I look for in a Dominant go against the grain of the role. Just as subs need incredible strength, Dominants need gentleness and humility. A top accepts control. A sociopath demands it. A Dominant though? They earn it. The only way a Dom will ever earn power over me is by showing me that he would never demand it.
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Dominance is not a label. It’s a verdict. It's something I feel in my bones, in my breath, in the way my body responds. It draws submission out of me. It never demands it. I'll give up my power because I trust a person with my vulnerability. D/s is intensely intimate, and I won't engage with it until I know you'll hold it gently. Safety, it transpires, is one hell of an aphrodisiac.
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I want a vanilla man: someone who dates me before he considers dominating me; who begins with conversations, not floggers; who gets to know me by talking to me, not fucking me. I want someone who knows people matter, that love matters, that I matter. If I wanted to be ordered around in a role-playing arrangement, I would create an OF and gain an income from it. I don't. I want someone to love who loves me; someone who feels like home; someone who is home.
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I want a man who makes mistakes: The type who’s intimately acquainted with his own weaknesses and who doesn’t see admitting fault as a loss. I want a man who walks beside me, not one who positions himself as though we’re at war. Someone who tells the truth, not because he might get caught in a lie, but because honesty matters to him. It matters because he can't respect himself any other way. No person can evolve without the capacity to be honest with themselves, and no relationship can evolve until the hardest truths are known.
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I write and post on the forums. A lot. When I was new I read and read but nothing really spoke to me. It was all very black and white, theoretical and serious. BDSM is serious stuff but it should also be full of fun and light. It's a romance, not a religion. In the beginning, I spoke with people who told me that this was no different to vanilla dating and it is. It's not the same at all. I needed to read about other peoples experiences, how they felt because, I feel that I might have been able to relate to it. I needed something tangible. I still do.
So I write the things that I'd have liked to have read from my experience so far in the hope others find it useful but also to get the thoughts out of my head and into some sort of logical form. Some will be reflections on my experiences, some will questioning, others will simply be sarcasm, making light of the "lifestyle"
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if you want to know more about me, maybe have a read.
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Writing on Fet though has taught me that everyone reads through their own lens. No matter how hard you polish those glasses, people will apply their own tint to everything they see. Everyone seems to carry their own agenda around with them like a shopping trolley. Then they unpack the contents in everyone else's kitchen because it will be about them no matter what.
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Few people put work into their online reading. They unpack that creaky old trolley with it's wonky wheel before they've even read the first line. I'm certain some of them don't even bother reading the post before disagreeing with it. Quite frankly, I'm quite tired of being manipulated into conversations I never signed up for. I am responsible for what I say, not what you read.
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Please send icecream

Limits

Pseudo Dom's
Fuckboi's
People who lack awareness or respect re consent
People who lack respect re boundaries/limits
People who are rigid in their thoughts about D/s

Fetish.com gives you…


Many possibilities! There are plenty of ways to meet new kinksters. Check out our free BDSM dating. Still not convinced to meet in person? Take a look at some kinky discussions taking place, right now...

CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
KINKY APPROACH

Considering the amount of posts here by people suggesting that they don't receive responses to their messages, it would do people well to read through this comment section and learn various reasons as to why people choose not to respond and take them on board rather than claiming that people are Read more… rude, entitled or simply looking at the aesethics.

LikePhoenixisCumming16, Aranhis, ThaliaVirago · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
KINKY APPROACH

And this comes down to individuals. For me, I get to deal with a lot of vicarious trauma during the day and I'm generally done people-ing come 6pm. As long as its understood that for a lot of people it's a real effort to respond to a message from a stranger when it's clear that there is low effort Read more… re it's content then that's fine.
It's when people become angry and resort to aggression albeit online that it's an issue.

Like3XTwitch, Aranhis, AdonisFreedand 1 more… · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
KINKY APPROACH

Agreed.
Not having requirements as to who you message is dangerous territory.
Moving on from a message and into a potential relationship, aren't boundaries requirements? Aren't limits requirements? Isn't aftercare a requirement? Etc etc

Likegemini_man, ThaliaVirago, DollyEverywhereand 1 more… · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
KINKY APPROACH

If people are sending messages to others as they suggest in some of these comments then I can see very clearly why there's so many individuals not receiving replies.
There is no one size fits all. All I can say is, any message from a stranger will need to evidence that they've read my profile, Read more… that they've shown an interest in anything other than my photo's. It needs to be well thought out, share a little about themselves, tell me why they decided to message me. Humour goes a long way.
But, even messages which achieve all of the above may not get a response from me and that will be down to the fact that they have nothing in their profile, no photo's, their 100's of miles away and because we've never interacted in the forums and I've not got a sense as to who they are. Lastly, whether I respond or not will depend wholly on what mood I'm in/what else is going in in life and whether I have the energy to spare in starting and sustaining a conversation with someone.

Likegemini_man, ThaliaVirago, Hotchpotchand 2 more… · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Trouble learning!

Forget the username, I'm a woman and here's the thing. Just because I am doesn't mean I know what other women want. Nor does it mean that what I enjoy other woman will because our anatomies are not all the same. We didn't all come out of the same box and get labelled 'A Woman'. We're individuals Read more… who get pleasure from many different things.
And newsflash, people identifying as a man may well have a vagina.
Use the forums. Use Google. Go to a munch.
I mean, the mind boggles as to how you managed to get to Fet without knowing what BDSM means and it was a lazy question, kinds like my dad asking my mum this weekend if they had any tupperware to store a cake when he could have just walked into the kitchen and look. Stop adding to people's labour because you don't want to do the work yourself.
Lastly, can you see the irony in complaining that women aren't offering you their advice etc and yet, there are plenty in this OP doing just that only for you to argue with them or simply ignore them. Do know that when receiving a message from someone new most people will check out the senders profile. Your post and subsequent comments will be seen. What type of message do you feel your putting out here? Do you think it's encouraging people you're messaging to respond?

Likegiraut, Aranhis, eyemblacksheepand 4 more… · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Cautionary Tales: The Perils of AI-Generated BDSM Advice

I've not been about the past few weeks, I've missed them! I need to get this chat app I suspect it will increase productivity at work heaps! 🤣

CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Cautionary Tales: The Perils of AI-Generated BDSM Advice

Damnit, that'll teach me for only reading the title 🤣

LikeDopeyDom, LeRoy009, Aranhis · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Cautionary Tales: The Perils of AI-Generated BDSM Advice

I'm going to be the first to comment and ask, did you have any help in writing this, maybe from a little thing known as AI? 😉

CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
The perils of poor communication in BDSM…

Whether its AI or not, it's interesting to me that we have an OP communicating to us about the need for effective communication whilst focusing solely on the verbal when verbal communication is, as we know, a very small part of how we, as humans, communicate (as opposed to AI maybe which is just Read more… text and arguably isn't as effective as the OP may have hoped for)

Likelocketheart, eyemblacksheep · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Straight male but attracted to trans women

Is paedophilia being bad an opinion? No, it's illegal in many countries so governments have literally made it more than an opinion.
Is it your job to call it out when people express an opinion to the contrary of the above? Yes on the basis that that's how society works and its everyone's job to Read more… safeguard children.
It's 2023, catch up.

LikePawpytan, Aranhis · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Straight male but attracted to trans women

To deny someone of their personhood is discrimination
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OP, as others have said, trans women are women regardless as to where they are in their transition. In my albeit limited knowledge, gender identity is separate from sexual preference. This is how I differentiate it if its any use to Read more… anyone....
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Being gay or straight is about who you want to go to bed with. Being trans or cis is about who you want to go to bed as.

LikeAranhis, ThaliaViragoand 4 more… · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
The DS Link, love and tenderness in BDSM

I think that this is a rather fanciful idea of what BDSM is. If we consider D/s, it's a relationship like any other with it's ups and downs, neither party are perfect despite (for me) emotions running higher in that environment.
I don't turn into a different person when I'm a submissive. I am Read more… submissive in the right relationship, until that's the case, that side of me remains suppressed.
I also don't feel that submission is opposed to feminism. Submission is feminism.

Likegiraut, Master6, GreenEyes_and 2 more… · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Someone else will…

I'm all for a bit of devil's advocate but, if you're right in saying that he can't communicate his feelings/wants/needs then he needs to work on that. I come across people who struggle to communicate and so do by usually through behaviours daily but they generally have an impairment/disturbance of Read more… the brain/mind and/or low intelligence. When these aren't factors, then as mature adults, we tend to know when we don't have the words to convey what we want. Again, as adults, when we're in that situation, we voice it, reflect on the situation and return to the conversation. I did it the other day at work. My manager asked me what was bothering me about a situation and I was so entrenched in it that I couldn't see the woods for the trees and that's as much as I could say. A couple of hours later I was able to say, "this is how I'm feeling and this is why" and we worked through it together. That's what should be happening in this scenario. Perhaps you're right, we could all make assumptions, either way though, it's not healthy.

Likearnhem961, Smore_Cracker, ThaliaVirago · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Dominants - have a look from your submisive's perspective.

Finally someone said it!
Of course the sub doesn't have all he control. That's the whole point. Through discussion, we set out our wants/needs/limits. We then hand over that control with the proviso that we can safeword at any time.
As can the Dtype. It's madness to think that a Dtype can't Read more… safeword etc.

LikeAranhis, Puppy6411 · Jump to discussion
CopperKnob
icon-wio CopperKnob wrote something in the forum
Allowing Ignorance to Be Your Guidance System

On the basis that it's a criminal offence and therefore shouldn't need to be said? Yeah
Maybe check someone's gender before you go about misgendering 🤷‍♀️ 😉

LikeTravibara, Lockfairy, Aranhisand 2 more… · Jump to discussion