i've wished all those miles, and also that ocean, to go away so many times now. but they so selfishly refuse to indulge me. i know so well what You speak of. The longing that never ceases. But oh how beautiful the experience of connections, which make the distance disappear for a few amazing Read more… moments. Bittersweet. Thank You @Intellectual Ruffian ... well written.

You are absolutely correct! i should not have put that word in the statement at all. Point well taken, and i apologize!
delight_of_life

Yes Sir @gemini_man. As You said, there are many intricacies in every relationship that differ from any other, and a custom fit is needed each time. But a holding on to the concept and intent of the lifestyle, in every one of them, that being SSC - Safe, Sane and Consensual, must apply. The Read more… acronym itself is a wide umbrella, and each of its components are wide umbrellas of their own. SSC and the 7 Pillars are the basis to conduct oneself by and be intelligently adhered to. If a situation falls outside of the umbrella of SSC, that doesnt "necessarily" make it a crime (although some argument can be made in some cases on that), it just makes it no longer true BDSM. (Do what you will, but unless you are in compliance, do not call it BDSM.) In a lifestyle this diverse, of course the very high levels of guidelines must be a generalization. But as it filters down into the many many different details and variations of kink, the top rule of SSC always applies and needs to be followed, or people get harmed, oftentimes seriously harmed. There is a reason for it. No It is not a single and only definition, as there are other acronyms that have been since added such as RISK and CNC, but even these also fall under the umbrella of SSC. which is the defining factor of the general "official" organization, and what sets it apart from unruled and chaotic, even heinous acts inflicted upon human victims throughout human history.
I agree that "BDSM" has been around longer than the 1980s. It was only "publicly" proclaimed in that particular decade by Stein and His group in the US. It has been practiced widely in every corner of the world in many forms. In fact it is as old as mankind itself, entrenched in our basic ***istic drives. We couldn't get away from it if we tried, and be truly whole. Vanillas are merely socially repressed souls who are too locked in their upbringing and the society around them to know the freedom to be found in their natural states.
So, we are saying the same thing here i believe, and thank You Sir for pointing out that the higher level ideals are in fact a generalization, as in they are an umbrella that covers and applies down to the far reaches of all of the many diversities.
delight_of_life