How shallow

Navigating dating sites and apps can be a minefield when you’re kinky. How can you find others into the same thing you are? For BDSM loving kinksters, BdsmDate.co.uk seems to be the possible solution to the problem. But how many oates of a kinky kind can you arrange on the site? In the spirit of Read more… serving our vision to be the most trusted BDSM and Fetish community, we asked Victoria Blisse to find out.
BdsmDate Overview | Dark and Brooding
It’s obvious from the moment you log in that www.BdsmDate.co.uk is not your run-of-the-mill dating site. From its dark and brooding look with a triskele logo in the left-hand corner, you know it's kink-friendly. BdsmDate is very traditional looking but completely free, however, does BDSMDate deliver what it promises?
BdsmDate Visual Appeal | Overwhelming?
There is only the desktop version of the website, no app but it is easy to navigate on a plain black background and all the actions listed along the top bar. It’s a little dated in its look, but you can find everything you want to very quickly, where some other sites can be a bit overwhelming, to begin with.A look inside BdsmDate.co.uk
BdsmDate Navigation and User Experience | Easy to Connect
Signing up is relatively simple, especially for me as a CIS gender woman, but you can only choose from male, female, couple and trans, which is quite restrictive. Also, you can only pick Dom, sub or switch as your orientation too, which shows the BDSM focus of this site, but even within BDSM, some people don’t identify as these particular labels.
The only fetishes to choose from are bondage spanking, ***ing, ***, fetish, fisting, and *** which I can only imagine are the most popular fetishes searched. Unlike Fetish.com where you can choose from dozens of fetishes to add to your list, this is a little bit restrictive. However, if you’re very specifically looking for people into these fetishes, you know other people on the site are going to be as well. Making it, in theory, easier to make a connection.
You have to put a zip/postcode in when you sign up, but it isn’t obvious if this is visible to others unless you read the terms and conditions page where it says it isn’t. It’s used only for your search parameters. Please note, the small box at the bottom of the sign-up page that is already ticked and says ‘show *** address’ be sure to untick this if you don’t want your *** address to be viewable by just anyone.
Once you’ve signed in and set up your profile, you can add photos and a little bit about yourself, though you don’t have to do this to use the site, it’s recommended to get the most out of BdsmDate.
Your main point of contact is via the search. Use it to find people in your area (or further away, you can select anything up to 200 miles away) into the same things as you. You can also choose people based on their height and weight which I find a little distasteful as people are far more than just their stats. However, having lots of questions to answer means your answers are far more specific than on other sites.
If you wonder what the ‘sponsoring’ box is all about, it is the way BdsmDate refers to if users expect to be paid or not. It’s a little bit of a confusing term for sex working, but it means you can filter in professionals such as dominatrices depending on your wants.
Although not the most scientific approach, I tried two searches, looking within a 20-mile radius firstly for men into spanking and got 137 responses. The same search for women brought up only 39, which seems to indicate there are more men on the site than women by quite a large margin. An advantage here is that you can message a user without jumping through any hoops at all.
BdsmDate Community Feel
From my perspective, there is no sense of community feel here. No live chat or forum to interact with others (both can be found at Fetish.com) and so all you have is profiles to browse and the ability to send messages.
As a female submissive, I got a lot of messages from men from all across the country. Most were relatively respectful, but a few were not. You can block users; there is a ‘block sender’ link in the top left corner on all messages. Click that, and the person is blocked. You can also report them via the help and contact centre if the message was harassing.
The help section has a limited number of answers to FAQ’s and gives you a contact form for contacting the site. I’m not sure how long it takes to receive a reply, as there is no indication of what to expect.
Is BdsmDate Free to Use?
BdsmDate is completely free with no upgrade options, that’s a refreshing change. It’s not weighed down with adverts either, so I’m not sure how they make their *** (possibly there is a cost for signing up as a sex worker, but I can’t confirm this). BdsmDate does make it easy to use, and it's free of the annoying ‘upgrade your account’ spam that you get on so many other dating sites.
BdsmDate Review | Final Thoughts
BdsmDate will appeal to those kinksters who enjoy a more traditional dating format and is definitely tailored to the BDSM community but has its drawbacks. You can’t interact with anyone other than via message, and the number of people on the site isn’t particularly high. However, you are assured that everyone there is into BDSM too.
If you want BDSM dating with a community feel, check out the Fetish.com forum filled with kinksters discussing every topic under the kinky sun - and check out the magazine for articles on BDSM for everyone from beginners to those well practised.
Victoria Blisse was an erotic author and sex-positive Reverend. She helped shape fetish.com and FET from the very beginning and we're eternally grateful for her passion and creativity. Sadly, she passed away in January 2024. We hope that whenever her articles are read, she'll be honored.
Have you tried BdsmDate.co.uk? Do you agree with our review? Tell us in the comments below. Spanks for reading!
Cover image released from Shutterstock.com