My apologies in advance, but play is all fun and games till someone gets hurts.
The goal of S&M or any type of play is fun. I get it...a little bit of fear is exciting and gets the juice flowing.
But if you are in the Dominant/Top position you have to understand the difference between Read more… someone's genuine fear and someone needing abit of mental stimulation.
As others will have said, sit down and chat. Secondly, take things slowly. In my opinion, you may have trust within your everyday relationship. You need to build trust in the kinky part of your relationship - this is separate.
Lastly, with S&M, for me is about the slow buildup. With choking, I would always start with the hands as you have more control.
It's very important that you have your safety strategies in place for when verbal communication is not available.

I think there is clear difference between rudeness via assertiveness and just being assertiveness.
Foisting your Dominance (via being assertive) on someone is rude, this is more to do with the ego and the belief your title gives you the freedom to treat all subs as your subordinate.

What makes a women a women? Typically, it is boiled down to genitalia. For me, that's too simplistic - there are many many layers to us.

The perils of modern dating.....

I think the foundations of a relationship can always be elevated - it does require us to tale a leap of faith and be more open/vulnerable. For me, this has been a watershed moment in previous relationships. I would also say.......provide your Dom a judgement free platform to express themselves

I think it shows you are invested in the relationship and you have undertaken some sort of reflection in terms what of your needs are.
I also think it's a great test for the Dom both immediately and in the long-term. As a Dom, are you willing to accept a sub who has an idea of who they are and Read more… what they need? As a Dom are you able to adhere to the rules set by your Sub?

Communication is key, but Communication can be challenging and there are very factors that impede our ability to communicate.
I remember prior to breaking up with one of my exes. I tried to express my emotions towards them, in addition to expressing my concerns about the relationship.
Every single Read more… time I tried, I was shut down. It reached the point where I had to end our relationship in the worst possible way....by text message!!

Context is key.
Depends on the conversation. What was asked. Why it was asked. In addition, the interpretation of the response given.

Not to push my own thought process...
Three things are important for me in terms of D/s relationships 1) Intentions 2) Motivations 3) Actions. They need to correlate to have a positive relationship. They also help you to see the individual beneath the "kinkster"
What makes BDSM so difficult is the Read more… fact it is hard to distill the qualities of a potential partner

Positively, You already have the basics/foundations. I say before talking to each other.... research and see what resonates with you. Dominance can mean different things to different people. In order to shed your anxieties.. you need to see where you fit in and how. Once you have undertaken your Read more… research, you then want to compare notes and find harmony with your husband.