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I love chocking and hard play
I’m a married sub to my dom of 8yrs just looking for advice and friends to show me the right way in bdsm
How do I overcome trauma from an old dom so i can be better for my husband/Dom
Hi,
About 16 yrs ago i had a relationship with a dom that was very bad to the point i nearly died. I have pushed all my memories of it to the back of my head for so many years now but recently my husband/ dom wants to have a little join us in our marriage at first i was ok i think but then my Read more…memories started to resurface and it caused really bad depression for me. I want to be better for my husband as he loves being a dom and helping subs that need it, how do i stop the bad stuff from ruining the good. I love bdsm and i love being a sub and hubby/dom is trying to show me the right way i was supposed to be introduced to it, but because of my past he can’t be who he wants to be and that’s not fair on him or the little {they stopped the relationship because of my reaction to my past}
About 16 yrs ago i had a relationship with a dom that was very bad to the point i nearly died. I have pushed all my memories of it to the back of my head for so many years now but recently my husband/ dom wants to have a little join us in our marriage at first i was ok i think but then my Read more…memories started to resurface and it caused really bad depression for me. I want to be better for my husband as he loves being a dom and helping subs that need it, how do i stop the bad stuff from ruining the good. I love bdsm and i love being a sub and hubby/dom is trying to show me the right way i was supposed to be introduced to it, but because of my past he can’t be who he wants to be and that’s not fair on him or the little {they stopped the relationship because of my reaction to my past}
LikeDonDante, bbykay96, Real5819and 6 more… · 15 Replies
DyingForLife The fact that you are married to your Dom does spell out that while you need to be prioritized in this situation, there is some "us" things to consider.
You didn't mention what your concerns are with having a new submissive enter your dynamic, but the phrasing suggests that you have some problem Read more… with it.
Whether its inadequacy, jealousy, or something else, it is a must that you and your Dom discuss this. He has just as much investment in you, as you him. At the very least, he should be (and I suspect is) considerate of your experience in the dynamic.
EMDR and CBT methods of therapy could be useful for you. But I also think finding a sex therapist who has more than an academic knowledge of BDSM would be useful to process some feelings you are experiencing, and potentially guide you and your Dom with introducing new partners to the dynamic, if that is for sure on the table.
Communication is key in a dynamic, I sense that you're feeling reluctant to voice concerns you have. But you have the right to speak up and say what you need. And your Dom has an obligation to hear you out and help you.
I would imagine your marriage functions very close to a 24/7 dynamic at this point.....and Doms are responsible for what they put out there. That includes how they manage emotional difficulties of their submissive. He can't do it alone, so guide him and tell him your concerns and how he can best help you.
You didn't mention what your concerns are with having a new submissive enter your dynamic, but the phrasing suggests that you have some problem Read more… with it.
Whether its inadequacy, jealousy, or something else, it is a must that you and your Dom discuss this. He has just as much investment in you, as you him. At the very least, he should be (and I suspect is) considerate of your experience in the dynamic.
EMDR and CBT methods of therapy could be useful for you. But I also think finding a sex therapist who has more than an academic knowledge of BDSM would be useful to process some feelings you are experiencing, and potentially guide you and your Dom with introducing new partners to the dynamic, if that is for sure on the table.
Communication is key in a dynamic, I sense that you're feeling reluctant to voice concerns you have. But you have the right to speak up and say what you need. And your Dom has an obligation to hear you out and help you.
I would imagine your marriage functions very close to a 24/7 dynamic at this point.....and Doms are responsible for what they put out there. That includes how they manage emotional difficulties of their submissive. He can't do it alone, so guide him and tell him your concerns and how he can best help you.
LikeBigDADDYBORIS
· 08.05.2023 6:44:09
Deleted profile I am so sorry for your past experience, no one should be put through that.
I believe the best way to over come it is by talking to someone. It could be your husband or someone else. Just go through your triggers, hard as it seems lay them all out in the open. Discuss your feelings and your ***s going in to a Dynamic. Talk about your ***s and see how it goes with guidance. I am so sorry for your past experience, no one should be put through that.
I believe the best way to over come it is by talking to someone. It could be your husband or someone else. Just go through your triggers, hard as it seems lay them all out in the open. Discuss your feelings and your ***s going in to a Dynamic. Talk about your ***s and see how it goes with guidance.
I believe the best way to over come it is by talking to someone. It could be your husband or someone else. Just go through your triggers, hard as it seems lay them all out in the open. Discuss your feelings and your ***s going in to a Dynamic. Talk about your ***s and see how it goes with guidance. I am so sorry for your past experience, no one should be put through that.
I believe the best way to over come it is by talking to someone. It could be your husband or someone else. Just go through your triggers, hard as it seems lay them all out in the open. Discuss your feelings and your ***s going in to a Dynamic. Talk about your ***s and see how it goes with guidance.
Like
04.05.2023 21:58:04
Deleted profile I think with all that aside it's normal to set boundaries in any relationship especially D/s relationships. Ask yourself is having someone else in your relationship something you really want OR are you agreeing to it because of them? At the end of the day you will never be happy if it doesn't work Read more… for the both of you. If you're not ok with it that is not something that makes you a " bad wife " it's a boundary and that's perfectly fine. Maybe I'm missing something here but that's what I feel about it
Like
04.05.2023 20:56:18
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