Thank you all for contributing your time and responses. I appreciate those subs who provided perspective.

This was a serious question. And now it would be truly informative to hear from subs what they prefer; learned Doms with a sense of tradition or Dom who are self taught.

This is a great topic.

I had recently turned down a switch because I could tell early on that she lacked the submissive qualities I preferred. I believe one knows it when they see it.

How: honestly and clearly. Come from a place of empathy and understanding. Exercise patience and be accommodating at each point.
Also, your partner should be honest about limits and what makes for an uncomfortable situation.

Consent is vital to the healthy exchange between partners. I'm can't tell you or anyone how they should feel when the consent is not there but what I will say is that all the Doms I know value and respect the agency of each partner.
One thing people should do is appreciate the importance of Read more… community.
Doms in a community of people who practice BDSM tend to be more accountable when they know their reputation is on the line.
That being said, don't trust in a Dom who has no one who can vouch for them in their community.
Bad actors tend to be unchecked and have no one who can speak for them.
Stay away from those Doms who are so new to the lifestyle that no one knows them.

I care. Some members of humanity are more compassionate than others.

I've been ghosted by subs. Just know it is likely a character flaw within them or a lack of maturity on their part. Consider the departure a blessing in disguise. These people reveal their true nature's before too much of your time, energy, money and family are invested.
I like to think that the Read more… people who leave our lives are making room for those who truly want to be here.