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Masturbation doesn’t have to be repetitive. Combining meditation and tantric touch into your self-pleasure sessions can wake up your wanking. So, from reducing anxiety to discovering new erogenous zones, Alex Hopkins outlines seven benefits of mindful masturbation.
So many of us do it – and so many Read more… of us love it! But as with any other pleasures in life, masturbation can become excessive and just another means of getting that dopamine and endorphin rush as quickly as possible.
However, the growing trend for mindful masturbation offers both penis-havers and people with vulvas a chance to change this and invite mindfulness into their bed – and thereby revolutionize their attitudes to intimacy and kinks.
So, what exactly is mindful masturbation?
Mindful masturbation, also called masturbation meditation or tantric masturbation, centres on carefully exploring the pleasures in your body as you touch yourself.
Firstly, it’s all about going slow; being sensual and intentional. Being fully present in the moment and fostering curiosity about whatever feelings – physical and psychological – come up.
One essential thing about masturbation meditation is that your only stimulation is through touching yourself. So, no porn or sex toys. Why? Because, crucially, having an orgasm isn’t the goal when it comes to mindful masturbation.
Yes, kinksters, you heard that correctly! Instead, the focus of tantric masturbation is on patiently, consistently and compassionately grounding yourself in your body. Happily, this can reap great benefits.
Masturbating mindfully: 7 benefits
But why should you care? Why not simply ‘bash one out’ and continue with your life? Well, let’s reveal the good stuff.
1. Reduce stress, anxiety and depression
The core aim of mindfulness is self-care through slowing down and observation. In fact, research shows that habitual meditation can have lasting, positive changes in our brains.
Masturbation meditation takes this to another level. In the words of clinical psychologist Janet Britto to Mashable, “a curious, non-judgmental” approach to masturbation gives “you permission to be in your body and experience pleasure.”
This helps with mental health, reducing both anxiety and tension. And that can improve everything, from your sleep to your immune system.
Mindful masturbation: it's all about taking your time
2. No expectations or goals
‘Oh, God, when am I going to cum?’
Unless you’re in the middle of an edging session, the thought often circles tauntingly as we frantically wank away. And this, in turn, infuriatingly, usually makes that orgasm even more elusive.
But imagine how you’d feel if this expectation to cum didn’t exist. Picture the liberation of ripping up that rule book.
Dropping the pressure of orgasming in mindful masturbation lets you discover what pleasure means to you. And this can heighten arousal. So, when that orgasm does arrive, it’s often more earth-shattering than usual.
3. Discovering surprising new sensations
Many of us masturbate on autopilot. It often becomes a habit focused less on pleasure and more as a form of stress-relief. Often masturbating becomes something to get over and done with as quickly as possible using the same, tired tricks.
With masturbation meditation, you tune into your entire body, not only your genitals. You delve into different erogenous zones, but you also linger in typically non-sexual areas, all the way from your head to your toes (great if you also have a foot fetish!).
During tantric masturbation, you surrender to the present, experimenting with touch and intensity. And this means you can potentially shape a brave new world of surprising sensations.
4. Confronting difficult emotions
Thanks in no small part to religion, many of us have been taught that sexual pleasure is shameful. According to the stats, it’s estimated that 90% of penis-havers wank. But people with vulvas often remain embarrassed about masturbating.
Next, begin touching your genitals. Penis-havers, play with your balls and prostate, or tease the head of your cock. Those with vulvas can rub their clit, gently down one side or directly on top.
Then use longer strokes. But, pace yourself. Penis-havers can move more unhurriedly up and down the shaft. Light glides in the middle for those with vulvas. Note how the delicious sexual energy flows, settles and swells. Take as long as you need.
Up the ante: gradually
Mix things up for the next 10 to 20 minutes. Forget old habits. Set yourself free! Alternate slow strokes with faster ones. Vary pressure. Try using your non-dominant hand. Deploy multiple fingers. Consider using lube.
You can edge yourself to the point of climax, but remember, you’re not necessarily aiming for an orgasm at the end of your mindful masturbation sesh. So, don’t focus solely on your penis or vulva.
Indeed, everywhere from your armpits, to your forearms to your calves are ripe for exploration. Investigate how to touch your body in a curious way. Be intrigued. Take note of any positive sensations you discover in areas other than your genitals. And when your mind drifts, refocus it on the present by returning to the breath and touch.
The final FET: mindful masturbation
From reduced stress to super-charged kinks, mindful masturbation can transform your relationship with yourself and your lovers. So, breathe into it, touch away, and stay fascinated by the miracle that’s the human body. •Alex Hopkins, a journalist and copywriter, has written on everything from LGBT arts and culture to sex and relationships, lifestyle, theatre, and civilian harm. His fiction has appeared in the anthologies Men and Women (Glasshouse Books) and Mainstream (Inkandescent). He's currently working on his first novel and is sustained by a love of hash browns and an unswerving belief that Glenn Close will eventually win an Oscar.
Have you tried masturbation meditation? How did you get into the mood? Share your tips below or with fellow kinksters in our Fetish.com Forum...
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