Deleted Member Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 I have had kinks for a while as a DOM and master. I have had successful vanilla relationships that explored my kinky side but I have enter a kink-driven relationship. Obviously being on this site will help with this goal, but I am curious to know what is the best way to find a female sub/slave for a LTR. open to any advice.
Deleted Member Posted January 21, 2020 Author Posted January 21, 2020 I doubt you would find a slave if you don’t know how to find a sub in the first place. It’s already very complex and difficult to find a sub for good reasons so adding the type of skill a slave requires you need to step up your knowledge. In my opinion of course and respectfully
Deleted Member Posted January 22, 2020 Author Posted January 22, 2020 On 1/19/2020 at 9:05 PM, MasterBoston said: I have had kinks for a while as a DOM and master. I have had successful vanilla relationships that explored my kinky side but I have enter a kink-driven relationship. Obviously being on this site will help with this goal, but I am curious to know what is the best way to find a female sub/slave for a LTR. open to any advice. This says you have entered a kink driven relationship?? or do you mean you wish to enter a kink driven relationship? If you wish to find someone for LTR in a d/s 24/7 relationship you really need to know what your getting yourself into it's extremely demanding on both sides and can cause some heavy strain. You would need to find a really good balance for both of you, as FAB says build your knowlage this is key, I know you say sub/slave I'm left wondering do you know the difference between a sub and a slave?
Deleted Member Posted January 22, 2020 Author Posted January 22, 2020 On 1/21/2020 at 5:37 PM, FabSeverus said: I doubt you would find a slave if you don’t know how to find a sub in the first place. It’s already very complex and difficult to find a sub for good reasons so adding the type of skill a slave requires you need to step up your knowledge. In my opinion of course and respectfully Thanks for this advice. How do I go about building my knowledge? Are there any great books or websites?
Deleted Member Posted January 22, 2020 Author Posted January 22, 2020 5 hours ago, Forbiddenfruits said: This says you have entered a kink driven relationship?? or do you mean you wish to enter a kink driven relationship? If you wish to find someone for LTR in a d/s 24/7 relationship you really need to know what your getting yourself into it's extremely demanding on both sides and can cause some heavy strain. You would need to find a really good balance for both of you, as FAB says build your knowlage this is key, I know you say sub/slave I'm left wondering do you know the difference between a sub and a slave? Typo - I am seeking one. Any advice on building my knowledge - books or websites?
Deleted Member Posted January 22, 2020 Author Posted January 22, 2020 13 minutes ago, MasterBoston said: Typo - I am seeking one. Any advice on building my knowledge - books or websites? The forum is a good place to have a nosey get people opinions open your mind to where it can go, I read a few books when I first learned about bdsm but it was more on submission than domination, one was how to be a healthy happy submissive I found on audible and the other was also on audible vanilla to kink bdsm for beginners, they are easily written and easy to understand for people just starting out nothing to intimidating 😂
Deleted Member Posted January 22, 2020 Author Posted January 22, 2020 19 minutes ago, MasterBoston said: Typo - I am seeking one. Any advice on building my knowledge - books or websites? When seeking a submissive, it's important to know yourself first know what you want know your own limits and to know what you are looking for in a submissive. Remember we are all people with all different kinks don't judge if it's not for you it's fine it doesn't mean you have to participate in that particular kink but keep a open mind something you may have thought you would not like you may find really does "get you going" your tastes with probably change over time. Start small purchase a soft leather flogger get used to holding it practice on a pillow a wall until your aim is good learn where the safer places to strike are (ask a dom this info as well I haven't a clue on that subject) learn how to read reactions good and bad, you have alot of researching to do 😂📖 but knowlage is key
ey**** Posted January 23, 2020 Posted January 23, 2020 there's some good advice already I found the best way is a mixture of - continuous learning. - not spreading yourself thin, but diversifying both where you are and where you get information from So, for example - as well as on here I'm active in my local scene, I'm on Twitter and I've been to some events around the UK : meeting different people can enrich your knowledge but also, well, meets different people
Phoenyx Posted January 24, 2020 Posted January 24, 2020 On 1/19/2020 at 3:05 PM, MasterBoston said: I have had kinks for a while as a DOM and master. I have had successful vanilla relationships that explored my kinky side but I have enter a kink-driven relationship. Obviously being on this site will help with this goal, but I am curious to know what is the best way to find a female sub/slave for a LTR. First of all, let me say, that I can feel your ***. You have entered The Scene, with high hopes of finding what you desire. Yet, you have come away with the profound feeling of being "left out". It's as though a great hand has reached inside of you, to rip-out your guts. Trust me, we have all been there. It's part of the initiation. Just don't let it get you down. Your question has been asked so many times---even, at one time, by myself. On the subject of gaining knowledge, it isn't so much about how to find a sub, as learning how to be dominant. Once you have developed your own Dom style, potential subs will be drawn to you, like moths to a flame. They will be attracted by your specific energy and technique. In the mean time, try not to focus on your lack of a companion. Instead, fantasize about how it might be like, once you've achieved your goal. This will help the development process. Of course, your fantasy will change as you grow. Just let it happen. In learning dominance, it's not about acting dominant, but, about performing dominant acts. Anyone can act and bluster. It's a dead-end street---leading to too many attitudes and insecurities. Instead, you need to be that person. The difference will be obvious to others. And, no challenge will be able to shake you. To start, just relax and be yourself. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Watch people, and make observations. Let their facial expressions and body language become like an opera---a aria that tells their life's story. Don't try to draw immediate conclusions. Just let the impressions coalesce in your mind. All the while, try to remember people's names. Go out of your way to do this. Use mnemonics if you have to. You may be surprised by the power of this simple act. Soon, you will feel the energy being returned to you. It will lighten your heart, and strengthen your dominant traits. As your skill at reading folks improves, try to avoid standard, cliche greetings like, "How are you?" Instead, watch them for a moment, and customize your greeting to what you have seen. This may come in the form of an observation, or a question. But, always use tact! This is a powerful tool, that can cause great harm, if not handled carefully. As always, try to smile and relax. Feel the energy exchange, and the sense or warmth that it leaves inside. It is important to practice this in everyday life, not just "in The Scene". See the positive effects in coworkers and clerks at the store. Ignore the trivial BS that modern life seems obsessed with dumping upon us. "Don't sweat the little shit". At least, try not to. Do what needs to be done, and let the rest sort itself out. Soon, you may feel that this headspace is taking over your life---creeping into every aspect of your thinking. Let it. This is your new persona---the one that you have fantasized about. Hopefully, this will give you a start, at becoming a more confident Dom. There are more steps. But, with this beginning, you will likely discover those next steps on your own. If not, you could always send me a PM, if you have questions. Good luck! As a final note, and little more helpful info, you might want to check out the thread, "Eye Contact 101". It can be found in the "Kink Academy" section of this forum.
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