Would You Date You? A Look at Self-reflection and Standards in Modern Dating

[Deleted Member]

As we navigate the ever-evolving landscape of modern dating, it's easy to fall into a pattern of high expectations, fueled by a curated of dating apps, social media, and the romanticized of the 'perfect partner'. We find ourselves in search of someone who ticks all our boxes, who mirrors our values, interests, and ambitions and even shares our quirks. But have you ever paused to ask, "Would I date me?"

This question may seem perplexing, even daunting, but it's an essential exercise in introspection. It's about looking at ourselves through the lens of our own dating standards. Are we the person we're seeking in others? Are our expectations realistic, or are they a reflection of our insecurities and ***s? If you wouldn't date yourself as you are right now, what does that say about your self-perception and the standards you're setting for others?

We often spend countless hours fixating on whether someone else is good enough for us without taking a moment to consider if we are good enough for them. It's easy to list down qualities we want in a partner, but it's equally important to ask if we possess those same qualities. If the answer is no, it might be time to shift our focus from external validation to self-improvement.

Remember, we can only control our own actions, reactions, and accomplishments. It's perfectly okay to have standards and to know what we want in a relationship. But it's crucial to ensure that we're not expecting more from others than we're willing to give or be.

This introspection is not about self-deprecation or tearing ourselves down but about fostering self-awareness and growth. It's about understanding our value and working on becoming the best version of ourselves – for our own benefit as well as for the person we wish to attract.

In the grand scheme of things, dating is not just about finding the right person but also being the right person. It's about fostering an environment of mutual respect, understanding, and love – and that starts with ourselves.

So, would you date you? If your answer is resounding, yes, congratulations! You're on the right track. If not, remember, it's a journey of self-improvement and self-love. And just like any journey, it begins with a single step. So, let's start walking!

[DeviantInside]

No. We wouldn’t be compatible sexually… but more importantly we would constantly trying to one up each other with awful puns.

[CopperKnob]

Nope, I'm far too competitive with a stubborn streak. Imagine two people with those qualities in a relationship 🤣
To add, whilst I'd agree re self-improvement throughout the lifespan, I do not necessarily agree that if the answer is no, you wouldn't date yourself, that there is work to be done. Often, it's good enough to have an awareness of any character traits and to acknowledge any impact they may have in relationships intimate or otherwise.
Eg, I won't qualify for prestigious sporting events if I'm not competitive. Being so means that I'm critical of where we are as a team and can focus on training specific areas to achieve certain goals. That's important to me/a big part of who I am. I don't necessarily view it as a negative, but I wouldn't necessarily look for it as a quality in a partner.

[adrenalina75]

16 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Nope, I'm far too competitive with a stubborn streak. Imagine two people with those qualities in a relationship 🤣
To add, whilst I'd agree re self-improvement throughout the lifespan, I do not necessarily agree that if the answer is no, you wouldn't date yourself, that there is work to be done. Often, it's good enough to have an awareness of any character traits and to acknowledge any impact they may have in relationships intimate or otherwise.
Eg, I won't qualify for prestigious sporting events if I'm not competitive. Being so means that I'm critical of where we are as a team and can focus on training specific areas to achieve certain goals. That's important to me/a big part of who I am. I don't necessarily view it as a negative, but I wouldn't necessarily look for it as a quality in a partner.

Exactly. Nobody, including ourself, is perfect. Waiting until there is no further ‘work to be done’ would mean that absolutely everybody would just remain single indefinitely.

[Co****]

Yes I'm lovely! Haha

[Ho****]

13 hours ago, CosmicAngel said:

Yes I'm lovely! Haha

😂❤️😘

[Th****]

I’d fuck me so hard lol

[aa****]

how would I know the real answer if i can't understand the question

[aa****]

id fuck me but would i continue to date me after i proved a pushover when i pressure myself for sex. would i still respect myself.?

[xx****]

No. I could never give over that much of me

[ca****]

A good question and a ridiculous question... but enjoy seeing some of the replies.....   personally I'd think I knew myself way too well to date myself...   imagine that!!!!!!!!!    My flippant two pennies worth .. if that is still legal tender (terminology)

[Fo****]

I‘d never date me; not because i despise me, but because I don’t need what I already have. I need somebody to complement me

[Ho****]

I love this!! Very eloquently written.

[go****]

I’d date me in a heartbeat. lol. I’m all the time saying, “I need to find me a me”. Two freaky, people pleasing, feral goblins that go above and beyond? Yes please!

[Th****]

1 hour ago, goblingorly said:

I’d date me in a heartbeat. lol. I’m all the time saying, “I need to find me a me”. Two freaky, people pleasing, feral goblins that go above and beyond? Yes please!

I love killers more of a strangler type tho 😂