Spanking and submission

[ReticentRose]

I finally asked a dom that I play with sometimes if my birthday spanking could be OTK and he said yes. I also tentatively brought up the prospect of kneeling for him, something I've never done for anyone before. 

This is some writing I did about all of that. It's erotic but not erotica, NC-17 but not X. I've considered sharing it with him, but I don't know how it would be received. 

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I want to be across his lap, the solid warmth of his legs beneath me. I want to feel close to him, to feel him beneath and around me. I want to close my eyes and feel my body relax because I know it is a safe place to be. 

The touch of his fingers against my skin makes my heart pound in anticipation. I feel the rush of excitement sweeping over me, my entire body tingling with the thrill of knowing there is more to come. When he runs his hands across my skin I sometimes think that I would purr if I could, caught up in the hedonistic pleasure of it all. 

Once he sounded almost amused when he observed “you just want to be touched, don’t you?” as I arched and shivered, pulling against my restraints to follow his hand as it traced its way down my neck and along my collarbone. Wherever he touches me, I feel myself open to give him access, pulling my head back to bare my neck, inviting him to wrap his hand around it.

It must be such a power trip for him, the slightest touch getting that kind of reaction from me. When he grips the back of my neck my whole body stills and relaxes, tension melting away replaced by the feeling of safety and security. There is always something gentle about his touch, even when it is firm. It sounds odd to say, but even his spankings feel tender in a way. Not soft, certainly, but the opposite of harsh or cruel. 

When he caresses my ass I bite back my moans. I arch my back, stick out my ass, doing everything I can to make it an invitation. When his hand comes down hard I can no longer keep the moans and whimpers from slipping from my lips. I want to beg, to implore him, please, more. The longer he spanks me the more I feel the pleasure building—to what, I am not sure. All I know is that I am desperate. I never want him to stop. It is ecstasy. 

I hold myself back. I wonder if he knows what he is making me feel. Does he know how wet I am from the first moment that he touches me, that every little touch sends a tingle down between my legs? Does he know that my moans are from this type of pleasure? Does he know that I am restraining myself, resisting the urge to rub myself against him? Does he have any idea what effect he's having on me?

I do not ask him to touch me in that way, but I wonder if the thought has crossed his mind, if he is holding himself back too.

During our last scene he came up behind me and wordlessly pressed himself against me, letting me feel the effect I was having on him. It was not a request or demand. There was no expectation there. He was just showing me, sharing that with me. 

When I remember that scene it is one of the moments I play on repeat, a tingle of excitement as I feel the sensation in my body, heat rushing through me at the memory. 

I also remember his hand around my throat, another wordless gesture. He did not squeeze—he did not have to. I was baring my throat to him, offering up complete vulnerability, showing him my submission. And he was showing me that he was not afraid of that, that he felt and liked and wanted that dominance. He was claiming the submission I was offering him. 

It was a reminder of my physical vulnerability. He is not normally physically imposing, but he has a quiet strength about him, and I am quite small. His fingers around my throat remind me of that, make me acutely aware of it. It is the feeling that he could do anything he wanted to me, but I still feel safe. When he pushes me against something or holds me in place there is no desire to fight him. His *** makes me feel secure in my place there, confident in him taking charge. I love letting myself submit to that. 

There are other feelings I do not put into words for him, that I hope I communicate by showing him. I wonder if he can feel them. I do not have the words to tell him "thank you" for what he is giving me, how fortunate I feel to be allowed to give him my submission. I wish I could let him feel the gratitude that swells in my chest, a different kind of warmth, and I hope he can feel the trust and respect and reverence that overwhelms me in those moments. It is when I am overcome with those feelings that I want to kneel for him, to show him what I do not know how else to express.

[Mattyy0099]

Wonderful. If there is anything about he should know the affect it is having on you. My experience is that many purr during a spanking. It's very gratifying!

[Wo****]

Absolutely LOVE this!

Especially the last paragraph. It's beautifully expressed and as for showing him, personally i would.

Either way, thank you for sharing, this is a wonderful post x

[Deleted Member]

Wow, your writing lady is just exquisite

[RJ****]

Beautifully detailed. I felt like I was in your shoes. Share it with him.

[cautiousswitch]

If I was a dom and a submissive that I "play with sometimes" gave me this then I would assume they were wanting to somehow advance our relationship dynamic.  My reaction would depend on our current relationship.  "Play with sometimes," makes me wonder does he have other submissives and you are asking to be his #1 sub or possibly for exclusion, do you see each other not very often and you're wanting to see him more often - there is a lot of interpretation that can be read into it based on your current relationship structure.

It is well written.  From the introduction I'm assuming these are your true feelings towards him and the actions described reflect things that he has actually done to you before.  If so then you two have obviously built up a lot of trust and there are one or two indications that he might want to advance the relationship too.  Again, that sort of depends on if he has other subs or not.  If he doesn't or has very few then I would take the risk and show him.

[ReticentRose]

1 hour ago, cautiousswitch said:

If I was a dom and a submissive that I "play with sometimes" gave me this then I would assume they were wanting to somehow advance our relationship dynamic.  My reaction would depend on our current relationship.  "Play with sometimes," makes me wonder does he have other submissives and you are asking to be his #1 sub or possibly for exclusion, do you see each other not very often and you're wanting to see him more often - there is a lot of interpretation that can be read into it based on your current relationship structure.

It is well written.  From the introduction I'm assuming these are your true feelings towards him and the actions described reflect things that he has actually done to you before.  If so then you two have obviously built up a lot of trust and there are one or two indications that he might want to advance the relationship too.  Again, that sort of depends on if he has other subs or not.  If he doesn't or has very few then I would take the risk and show him.

Thank you. 

He is married to his wife who is his submissive and is and always will be his first priority. They are swingers but not poly or in an open relationship. 

Obviously I respect the boundaries set by that relationship, but the exact nature of those boundaries and our relationship is not clear to me. He says "just friends," but his actions and the feelings he expresses towards me are not consistent with what most people would consider "just friends." 

I have no romantic interest in him. I consider myself aromantic and I do not experience romantic attraction. I don't want the same kind of partnership or relationship with him that his wife has, and in a way that is part of the appeal. He has those wants and needs met elsewhere and isn't going to fall in love with me or want that from me. 

I do wish to advance our relationship, but his definition and boundaries for what "just friends" can or cannot mean to him are unclear to me. I know the answer is always "communication" and "just discuss it," but I worry that I will send the wrong message in doing so. 

He calls me "pet" and reminds me to take my meds and says things like "you are one of the strongest people I know" or "I would not have given you so much of myself if I didn't believe you" or, referring to our scenes, "it started out as purely topping, but the connection was there and I felt it right away."

These are all things apparently not at odds with his definition of just friends or the parameters of his relationship (and yes, I have explicitly confirmed that none of this is a secret. When he had eye surgery his wife texted me from his phone in the days after when he could not. I interact with both of them at parties, and she's around when we do our scenes. This is all above board.)

Honestly I'm terrified of rejection and so I've been reluctant to clarify lest it seem like I'm asking for more than he's willing to give. 

[Clara2020-7095]

hey

[ReticentRose]

For the doms, if a sub that you had played with and actually done these things with shared this with you, would it turn you on?