Secretly admiring

[Sa****]

This guy I've known from when I was married, I ran across on here... I've always found him attractive. His looks, his personality, his voice...

His eyes the most stunning baby blue... I could get lost in his gaze so easily. Those eyes would be the start of my downfall in the most wonderful of ways.

I'm happily spoken for. However, if given the chance and permission from my man, I'd like to see the things this guy would do to me if he shared the same interest or curiosities.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't fantasized about him ravaging my body, claiming me as his own, bringing me pleasure with the gentlest touch. I've dreamt of him being gentle, other times rough and being left begging for more. Melting into him, doing my part to please him... Wanting him to fill me in the best ways possible.

It's all just a wonderfully hopeful dream, but I enjoy it just the same.

[ol****]

In all honesty, that’s borderline emotional cheating, you have the moral obligation to disclose this information to your partner, and then see how they will respond. - because if you desire all this, then can you really say your “happily spoken for”?

[Sa****]

2 minutes ago, oliver6996 said:

In all honesty, that’s borderline emotional cheating, you have the moral obligation to disclose this information to your partner, and then see how they will respond. - because if you desire all this, then can you really say your “happily spoken for”?

It's a fantasy of mine... You can't tell me you've never had fantasies about others... But go ahead, judge me... You don't know me.

[bi****]

Some people Oliver6996 didn't your momma tell u if u don't have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all

[Re****]

@oliver6996 Emotional cheating isn’t a thing. Your cheating or your not. You can find it disrespectful or displeasing but not everything is cheating. No she doesn’t need to disclose this unless it’s something she wants to act upon.
You also don’t know other people or their relationship dynamics and suggesting this could put someone in danger

[vi****]

You better wish fantasy never meets reality.

[ca****]

36 minutes ago, oliver6996 said:

In all honesty, that’s borderline emotional cheating, you have the moral obligation to disclose this information to your partner, and then see how they will respond. - because if you desire all this, then can you really say your “happily spoken for”?

How is a harmless fantasy enjoyed from afar with no intention to reach out or follow through “borderline emotional cheating”? It’s normal to still appreciate sexually attractive people while you’re in a happily committed relationship. If I’m out with my man and an undeniably drop dead gorgeous woman walks in, I don’t want him to feel guilty or ashamed for appreciating what he finds aesthetically or sexually pleasing or pretend he didn’t notice. I don’t own him or wish to control his desires, and frankly I think that’s part of truly accepting and loving all of him for who he is, not just the parts that make me happy. Just cause someone’s vegan doesn’t mean they can’t browse the dairy aisle.

[bi****]

Doesn't matter what getts the motor purring as long as stays in driveway maybe take turn parking in other garages ot double parking

[ol****]

18 minutes ago, Ree301 said:

@oliver6996 Emotional cheating isn’t a thing. Your cheating or your not. You can find it disrespectful or displeasing but not everything is cheating. No she doesn’t need to disclose this unless it’s something she wants to act upon.
You also don’t know other people or their relationship dynamics and suggesting this could put someone in danger

Putting someone is danger? I’m merely commenting how it would be seen, the user obviously isn’t on the dynamic that is openly known that this is okay. They stated “given the chance and permission” which means this stance isn’t even known, nor is it talked about. - as for emotional cheating, it’s a real phenomenon, however I said borderline- not that it was.

As for disclosing, that’s your opinion, but if you were the partner, wouldn’t you want to know your significant other, someone you’ve married, has, and so much so it’s been properly a common thought, thought about another man in such a way, that they are hopping for their partner to help them fulfil such desire.

I know dynamics are different in any relationship, and again all my opinion; but having such thoughts, - and we’re talking they’ve made a post about it… it’s definitely on their mind; and their significant has no idea, that’s what’s not so good

As for danger, well that depends, sounds like you’ve already shown your own feelings - if all this was good, and nothing to worry about, the partner doesn’t need to know - why say it’s dangerous if they find out… your it’s like your saying the action of them knowing will cause a bad response… you know this isn’t isn’t the best

[ol****]

35 minutes ago, bigfarmer8 said:

Some people Oliver6996 didn't your momma tell u if u don't have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all

I didn’t say anything about the person, - I didn’t call them names, I didn’t say they are horrible, I didn’t even elude about not being “nice” - I stated an observation, based on the evidence they themselves have provided.

[ol****]

19 minutes ago, cagedbrat said:

How is a harmless fantasy enjoyed from afar with no intention to reach out or follow through “borderline emotional cheating”? It’s normal to still appreciate sexually attractive people while you’re in a happily committed relationship. If I’m out with my man and an undeniably drop dead gorgeous woman walks in, I don’t want him to feel guilty or ashamed for appreciating what he finds aesthetically or sexually pleasing or pretend he didn’t notice. I don’t own him or wish to control his desires, and frankly I think that’s part of truly accepting and loving all of him for who he is, not just the parts that make me happy. Just cause someone’s vegan doesn’t mean they can’t browse the dairy aisle.

I think those are two different situations, that is an example of someone you’ve just come across, that you have no connection to, and you’re even entertaining the idea.

Everyone is allowed to have those sort of feelings, it’s literally built on our biology, however let me ask you this

If your significant other, said he was always thinking about a girl he met, and wanted to passionately engage in sex with her, how would you feel?

And that’s what this user as stated, fantasies are one thing, of course harmless, however it sounds like their thinking about this often, and that in my opinion is on the side of emotional cheating, but it’s not emotional cheating of course - they haven’t even tried to get contact

How would you feel, if women in this scenario joined in your activities, and he said he couldn’t stop thinking about her? Even once you’re married?

[ol****]

59 minutes ago, SassyCas said:

It's a fantasy of mine... You can't tell me you've never had fantasies about others... But go ahead, judge me... You don't know me.

I’m not judging you, judgment suggests I care about your actions- I don’t, not really; live your life however you want to live, and don’t listen to some random stranger on the internet- however each time you post online, you have the chance of getting an opinion against your own.

I’ve made a suggestion, listen to it or not, you are the only one who cares deeply for you partner, enjoy to marry them, and make a life together- and if they were in the same situation, in your heart what would you do- whatever that action is, that’s the action that is right and just.

I said it was morally wrong based on objective facts on what would constitute a normal breach of a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to it- plenty of things are going against the norm, and every relationship is different

Tell me, don’t tell me, you make the decision; as you said I don’t know you - however you’ve just presented your thoughts, and if you feel that isn’t representative of you as a person, then good.

But yeah, fantasies are fantasies we can’t control thoughts, however, if they are almost always happening, maybe there is an underlying conscious desire for said fantasy, that’s why I said discuss

But if you feel saying this will jeopardise things, isn’t that a little telling?

[ca****]

22 minutes ago, oliver6996 said:

I think those are two different situations, that is an example of someone you’ve just come across, that you have no connection to, and you’re even entertaining the idea.

Everyone is allowed to have those sort of feelings, it’s literally built on our biology, however let me ask you this

If your significant other, said he was always thinking about a girl he met, and wanted to passionately engage in sex with her, how would you feel?

And that’s what this user as stated, fantasies are one thing, of course harmless, however it sounds like their thinking about this often, and that in my opinion is on the side of emotional cheating, but it’s not emotional cheating of course - they haven’t even tried to get contact

How would you feel, if women in this scenario joined in your activities, and he said he couldn’t stop thinking about her? Even once you’re married?

Then in that case we would have an open and honest conversation about our relationship and how to best make it work for us, much like the first time he mentioned to me he was attracted to someone else. We’re together for the long haul, I’m not going to mind too much if he wants to explore himself with another person because I trust him implicitly, as he does me, and that trust has been forged through years of shared struggles and unwavering devotion. There’s always the chance I might want to explore with him, too. I’m greedy for all that life has to offer before I’m too old to enjoy it, and it would be unfair of me to deny my partner the same.
If he decided he wanted to leave me for someone else? Shit yeah that’d hurt, and it would be extremely difficult to work through. But at the end of the day I love the human he is, and I want for him to be able to find *his* happiness.

[ol****]

10 minutes ago, cagedbrat said:

Then in that case we would have an open and honest conversation about our relationship and how to best make it work for us, much like the first time he mentioned to me he was attracted to someone else. We’re together for the long haul, I’m not going to mind too much if he wants to explore himself with another person because I trust him implicitly, as he does me, and that trust has been forged through years of shared struggles and unwavering devotion. There’s always the chance I might want to explore with him, too. I’m greedy for all that life has to offer before I’m too old to enjoy it, and it would be unfair of me to deny my partner the same.
If he decided he wanted to leave me for someone else? Shit yeah that’d hurt, and it would be extremely difficult to work through. But at the end of the day I love the human he is, and I want for him to be able to find *his* happiness.

So then you agree with me, you were against what I said, and said they had no need to disclose anything, but you yourself have now stated that’s the course you would take. - so, in my suggesting they talk about it, is something you would suggest also, by your response

Talking doesn’t inherently break this up, or cause damage; it depends on the individuals in the relationship.

However I’ll ask you this, let’s say, you never had a conversation- he kept it from you, the one day out of the blue, you see on his phone by mistake, mentions of theses feelings - wouldn’t you feel a little betrayed, that the trust you built so long wasn’t strong enough to be discussed

Or another scenario, he says their name accidentally in the throws of passion -

Wouldn’t it be best to discuss than for them to find out eventually- because regardless of what people might think, everyone eventually breaks - it’s just a matter of when and how

So they can discuss, and who knows he might even be into it, and then she’ll be happy, and he’ll be happy?

Why does everyone feel that talking about theses things will be negative- all I can make a assumption is that you deep down know your actions are wrong or negative, and therefore you believe the person will not be happy about talking about it

[ca****]

36 minutes ago, oliver6996 said:

So then you agree with me, you were against what I said, and said they had no need to disclose anything, but you yourself have now stated that’s the course you would take. - so, in my suggesting they talk about it, is something you would suggest also, by your response

Talking doesn’t inherently break this up, or cause damage; it depends on the individuals in the relationship.

However I’ll ask you this, let’s say, you never had a conversation- he kept it from you, the one day out of the blue, you see on his phone by mistake, mentions of theses feelings - wouldn’t you feel a little betrayed, that the trust you built so long wasn’t strong enough to be discussed

Or another scenario, he says their name accidentally in the throws of passion -

Wouldn’t it be best to discuss than for them to find out eventually- because regardless of what people might think, everyone eventually breaks - it’s just a matter of when and how

So they can discuss, and who knows he might even be into it, and then she’ll be happy, and he’ll be happy?

Why does everyone feel that talking about theses things will be negative- all I can make a assumption is that you deep down know your actions are wrong or negative, and therefore you believe the person will not be happy about talking about it

I disagree because in @sassycas’s original post she mentions getting permission from her current partner - implying a conversation, not sneaking around or hiding things.

[ca****]

If you can’t be free to be the person you really are around the one you love, then do they really love you or the version of yourself you’re presenting to them?

[Ni****]

3 hours ago, oliver6996 said:

In all honesty, that’s borderline emotional cheating, you have the moral obligation to disclose this information to your partner, and then see how they will respond. - because if you desire all this, then can you really say your “happily spoken for”?

Wee woo wee woo! Look out guys! We got the thought police over here who has never had a fantasy about someone before! Get 'em copper! Make her pay for being so naughty!

[ol****]

2 hours ago, cagedbrat said:

I disagree because in @sassycas’s original post she mentions getting permission from her current partner - implying a conversation, not sneaking around or hiding things.

That doesn’t really have much to do with the conversation, plus did she get permission in this context - also their wishes for him to “claim me as his own” would you like your significant other to say this about another girl?

He said to you “I want to claim her as my own”

As for your statement, yes they mentioned if given the chance or permission- but it’s about the fact they have thought about this situation a great deal, multiple fantasies. - also, it should be noted that in their bio, they are looking for a female, so the husband probably isn’t okay with a male

As for not sneaking around or hiding things - well the action of not saying you think about this guy, and you’ve even noticed him on a platform-

They are actively having dreams about this person, and their use of words, it all sounds like they should tell their partner, and see their feelings

I’ll use you for example, if you new your significant other, had access to someone he desired, said he wanted to fill her, wanted to call her his, and dreamed about how she would be in bed

What would be your reaction

Don’t you not feel this needs to be brought up at a point

[ol****]

30 minutes ago, NimbleSorcery said:

Wee woo wee woo! Look out guys! We got the thought police over here who has never had a fantasy about someone before! Get 'em copper! Make her pay for being so naughty!

Well that was a little childish of a response, all im saying is they should discuss this situation, that is all.

And call it how you want it, I’m basing my words on definitions, if you defined emotional cheating, this would be seen as that - however I said borderline

I’m aware people have fantasies, I have fantasies, however, having the odd dream about someone, and often fantasying and even suggesting you would do it if you had the chance and your partner agreed- means you want this person

It’s no longer a fantasy at this point, is it?

All I mentioned was talking about things - if it’s all fantasy who cares… right? Like why would you care, it’s fake, no chance of being reality - unless you admit that fantasy do have weight-

[ca****]

8 minutes ago, oliver6996 said:

That doesn’t really have much to do with the conversation, plus did she get permission in this context - also their wishes for him to “claim me as his own” would you like your significant other to say this about another girl?

He said to you “I want to claim her as my own”

As for your statement, yes they mentioned if given the chance or permission- but it’s about the fact they have thought about this situation a great deal, multiple fantasies. - also, it should be noted that in their bio, they are looking for a female, so the husband probably isn’t okay with a male

As for not sneaking around or hiding things - well the action of not saying you think about this guy, and you’ve even noticed him on a platform-

They are actively having dreams about this person, and their use of words, it all sounds like they should tell their partner, and see their feelings

I’ll use you for example, if you new your significant other, had access to someone he desired, said he wanted to fill her, wanted to call her his, and dreamed about how she would be in bed

What would be your reaction

Don’t you not feel this needs to be brought up at a point

Any dynamic or situation can work given the right context, communication and consent. One size does not fit all and there are endless different ways one can choose to love and be loved. I’m not interested in having a conversation about hypothetical what-ifs. ✌️

[ol****]

12 minutes ago, cagedbrat said:

Any dynamic or situation can work given the right context, communication and consent. One size does not fit all and there are endless different ways one can choose to love and be loved. I’m not interested in having a conversation about hypothetical what-ifs. ✌️

You have me there. Every relationship dynamic is different, and like many things all not all can be generalised, it’s a fluid; things can change and fluctuate, depending on the conditions of the relationship

However, all I’m saying is they should talk about it - are you against my suggestion?

I mean they have talked about threesomes obviously, so what’s this conversation any different?

But okay, I’ll leave out the what ifs

They have titled the post secretly admiring, which would suggest that’s the title close to their feelings.

They have stated “claiming me as his own”, a “wonderful hopeful dream”

“ dreamt him being gentle, other times ruff”

Based on this post, it details they have felt this way for many years, and has such a high opinion of this person

They are aware they are on the app, they will probably not make any actions, however, don’t you believe that it’s the right thing to do, to just start a open conversation about these feelings?

Or do you believe it’s so bad this situation, that they shouldn’t even mention it to their partner, for ***ing that they may get annoyed?

[ol****]

15 minutes ago, cagedbrat said:

Any dynamic or situation can work given the right context, communication and consent. One size does not fit all and there are endless different ways one can choose to love and be loved. I’m not interested in having a conversation about hypothetical what-ifs. ✌️

Another Point in fact, you just said “communication” there is no communication that’s what I’m saying, so I’m suggesting they just talk about it

Best case scenario, the person gets their wishes

[Sa****]

1 hour ago, NimbleSorcery said:

Wee woo wee woo! Look out guys! We got the thought police over here who has never had a fantasy about someone before! Get 'em copper! Make her pay for being so naughty!

That's the best reply yet... I don't see why I have to disclose to everyone on here if I've talked with my man about a fantasy or not... But we're both agreed we can look and just not touch....

Seems like someone else on here thinks that their only thoughts are what must be followed 🤣😂

[Sa****]

1 hour ago, oliver6996 said:

Another Point in fact, you just said “communication” there is no communication that’s what I’m saying, so I’m suggesting they just talk about it

Best case scenario, the person gets their wishes

There's plenty of communication between my man and I... Your assumptions are based on what You think is wrong... If you can't be respectful, you just shouldn't comment... I have every right to post what I wish without backlash from someone who doesn't know me.

[fr****]

Women are super jealous. I let her roam no problem; as soon as I did it she lost her shit🙄 lol most of em just wanna have their cake and eat it🤷‍♂️. Let him do it first and see how u feel. If u can't handle it maybe this lifestyle isn't for u📠