Intimacy + exploring after long relationship

[de****]

32 no kids just moves back n town.

[Jn****]

My first marriage I was married to him for 13 yrs - we were a triad for 3 years at the end of it.

Once it was over I felt a since of freedom and searched everywhere to find a sexual partner.
At first I did find it hard to cum as well. Because you are so used that previous person and if you are a loyal partner like I was - it still felt “wrong” like cheating almost- I had to separate my mind from that thought. I had allow myself the “ok” to feel pleasure by anyone I choose. Eventually that wall came down and the orgasms started flowing.

That is just my story though.
There is a chance you could be Demi sexual just meaning your mind has to be stimulated first , which can prove to be more tricky

[Kr****]

On 5/27/2025 at 4:18 PM, BourgeoisBlaque said:

Im sorry to say, the depth that you seek doesn't exist on kink sites. Everyone is looking to play and rarely takes anything seriously. Many will love-bomb to get what they want and ghost. Kink dating is wors than vanilla dating. Be prepared for disappointment. Lots of it.

Found my girlfriend here... she is the most supportive and caring partner, I ever had^^'

[Th****]

Yesterday at 05:43 PM, bittenkiss said:

"Yet I barely choose someone and just dance around " - here's the core problem. You're used to having someone you are already connected with, but now you're finding new people but have forgotten that the connection has to now be made from scratch. I know its a nuisance, but it has to be done. So find one of these many potentials, suss them out a little to see if they are a possibility, then go ahead and touch. Make that connection, talk, find common kink, explore it in a non-sexual/intimate manner, like playing, and then that connection you want will appear all by itself. Or it won't, so rinse and repeat.

I make a lot of connections.
THAT is not the issue

[Th****]

Yesterday at 06:17 PM, HappyFatLady said:

Reading some of these comments, I realize a lot of people don’t understand what being demisexual is… and using phrases like “explore it in a non-sexual intimate manner like playing”, isn’t that simple. But I get it, it’s hard for some to comprehend that there are some who need a true, rooted connection BEFORE any type of playing can happen.

Indeed . If the spark is not there - and it can happen in an instant but not always - spending more time does not do the trick and certainly will not help me cum

[bi****]

4 minutes ago, TheGoodGirl_ said:

I make a lot of connections.
THAT is not the issue

wouldn't you call them minor acquintances, not connections. If these were more than passing, then you woulnd't have a problem.

[Th****]

4 minutes ago, bittenkiss said:

wouldn't you call them minor acquintances, not connections. If these were more than passing, then you woulnd't have a problem.

I said what I said .
I have a normal dating life apart from kink and have a very active friend circle.

Not sure why u are arguing with me on my thread. Move on if you have nothing nice or helpful to say . Thanks

[Th****]

Yesterday at 06:04 PM, hungfun_ said:

^this. For some its too much work but think of it as investing in yourself. Youre good enough. Don't be afraid of new and especially dont be scared to be happy again

Thank you for the encouraging words .
I am optimistic.

Just looking to understand more

[Th****]

Yesterday at 06:18 PM, MrsJuicy5280 said:

Girl I'm in a similar situation I started my deep dive a few months ago but I'm still married.... I really hope you find what you are look for soon. I know it can be draining

U too 🙏🏽.

[Th****]

22 hours ago, jusstpeachy said:

I have a very similar experience. After my long marriage I thought I could “have fun” and do hook ups or ONS, but those left me feeling unfulfilled and craving more. I don’t desire monogamy, cohabitation, or any of the other stepping stones of traditional relationships. I value deep connections, friendship, respect, and autonomy. It’s taken time, and self reflection to figure this out about myself. Letting go of shame of being or wanting “too much” from people. Navigating the scene to find anyone in alignment sometimes feels impossible…but I promise there are gems out there, you just have to dig though A LOT of sh*t to find them.

Thank you - glad you found what works for you .

There s a lot of ways to do life … trying to find mine

[Th****]

22 hours ago, zuckernusse said:

After I was divorced I tried dating and discovered that no matter how much I wanted to be a Ho I just couldn’t. I needed intellectual stimulation. I needed to feel connected to my partner. When I was cornered into physical intimacy I felt like something must be wrong with me because I just wasn’t into it but a brief dalliance back with my ex reassured me that was definitely not the case. I’ve had to convince myself to leave the past in the past though. Now I wish I could find someone to connect with, someone I could trust, someone to play with, day dream about and share basic things in life as well.

U will find it ❤️

[Th****]

Yea, somewhat mentally and somewhat emotionally.

Since I have opened this thread and read all the lovely comments I have reflected a bit more and the common denominator is : with those I had nice experiences with they all were super good communicators and I felt really safe . They also appreciated my energy and spending time with them . Hmmm.

[an****]

After 17 years of monogamous marriage, it was shocking how much things changed socially period. Now trying to navigate that world not only behind times, but also with a newly developed taste if you will, has been brutal.

[Th****]

4 hours ago, angel82nd said:

After 17 years of monogamous marriage, it was shocking how much things changed socially period. Now trying to navigate that world not only behind times, but also with a newly developed taste if you will, has been brutal.

It’s wild at times for sure 🤣

[Deleted Member]

@krateros I you have a girlfriend why are you still here? This is a dating app, if you're still looking, you didn't find a girlfriend. You found a fuckbuddy.

[Th****]

16 minutes ago, BourgeoisBlaque said:

@krateros I you have a girlfriend why are you still here? This is a dating app, if you're still looking, you didn't find a girlfriend. You found a fuckbuddy.

Some people are open - let’s no judge the different configurations

[Emilio-7677]

hello ladies someone say hi and get a warm #1

[Li****]

We have this in common @thegoodgirl_ there’s nothing if there’s no connection and attraction