Why is it always the ones who don’t read, who shout the loudest?

[Th****]

9 hours ago, BourgeoisBlaque said:

Most males behave EXACTLY as I stated. When you start dating men, you will understand our plight.

Talk to *any* demographic who dates men and they'll have had similar experiences. Every single man I'm friends with who is bi or gay as well as enby folk have the same struggles and complaints. 

[lo****]

I agree with this so much! Thank you for saying it.

[Ta****]

So I just checked whom I blocked in the last three weeks, and while I won't quote specific messages, here examples from only three weeks
- 5 guys trying to discuss why I don't date with a 20+ year age gap (as mentioned)
- around 12 other guys from that age bracket, blocked before Diskussion
- a detailled description of my life as a cuckqueen (no interest)
- someone asking me to clean his shoes with my c*nt
- 3 detailed sex fantasies
- 6 slaves I have no use for
- the guy who tried to nag me to agree to hardcore SM calling me a borderliner
- the guy who called me a mad b!tch because I do not look for love
- one guy just DMing to shame me for my arrogant profile
...
And now I have forgotten some others.
But it does happen ALL THE TIME.

[Br****]

This is the kind of people who doesn't care about what are the other persons wants and/or needs and since they don't care they are the ones msging directly without any concern for anything else than what they want.
It also makes it very difficult for others to actually connect. Those who are harassed get less receptive to decent people, and decent people *** contacting someone who have similar interest because they don't want to make them feel harassed even more (I guess that last part is more my personnal opinion).
Sadly it makes the whole experience so much more difficult and unpleasant.

[Or****]

Yesss omfg. So many of these men never had mommy tell them no and it shows 😒

[el****]

7 hours ago, juaan365 said:

Yeah it's always a man's fault yeah those bastards

If more men respected others, and pursued potential relationships from a healthy and meaningful position, then men and women alike wouldn't spend so much time pointing out all of the terrible, selfish, abusive, and derogatory things that men do. If you feel attacked by someone venting their frustrations about their treatment on an app, in their communities, or in the workplace, then you should fix yourself, but writing a nasty response like yours simply tells everyone that you're a selfish ***r, and you can't be trusted.

[Laycette]

Yep I have a detailed profile and most men message me with 'so what are you looking for?' They get the shits when you say go read my fucking profile, some even refuse to!
They cannot fathom that I do not want to regurgitate my life story with every timewasting twat, or the sheer volume of messages I get.
On another site I got *** heaped on me for not responding to messages from random men within an hour. On my first day there! So i left their messages on my wall with my responses like heads on pikes to deter other idiots.

[ju****]

I always thought those who spoke the loudest, had the least to say..?

[Tw****]

3 hours ago, Laycette said:

Yep I have a detailed profile and most men message me with 'so what are you looking for?' They get the shits when you say go read my fucking profile, some even refuse to!
They cannot fathom that I do not want to regurgitate my life story with every timewasting twat, or the sheer volume of messages I get.
On another site I got *** heaped on me for not responding to messages from random men within an hour. On my first day there! So i left their messages on my wall with my responses like heads on pikes to deter other idiots.

I'm going to tell you what I see when I read a very detailed profile. Far too much information for me to make any meaningful gesture... Say someone lists they like 50 things. I wouldn't assume that you are always up for doing all 50 of those things all the time. So I would probably message "what are you looking for?" Because you've listed the yellow pages which can at times be less helpful than a short and sweet paragraph with a simple warning about scum being ignored.
----
Not justify the true scum I have seen floating around apps like these but it is a double edged sword when you can't just speak words to someone and have to rely on text. Which as we all probably have experience of, is easy to miscommunicate in... I've seen women's accounts on these and it is absolutely f**king mental the number of scummy messages they get daily.

[Tw****]

Woo sh*t that turned into a short story... My bad tldr: don't get mad at poor initial communications. Why put the effort in to something that's 99% of time a waste of time...

[Pe****]

It's weird, because as a sub I always do the opposite of that, and why I'm never picked?
Even doing exactly as she says in the profile, I'm tossed aside, I guess women like men that are invasive and say what they want even if it's a sub, I'll leave the BDSM world, I'll never be the sub to fulfil my domme's wishes, because they choose those with more "attitude".

[no****]

The only thing for anyone on here is to approached with respect.
It's a hit and miss. People will assume what they want. There are a lot of people who you already have set expectations that may not me the requirements you are seeking. Sometimes its just the vibe you're getting even if conversation has started. It is sucky when someone doesn't read your profile in entirety but it's overwhelming to read a novel that some may write.

It's not necessarily lazy if you don't know what you want to say or don't have the ability to put w you seek into words, not all people can express themselves as well as others. It's always preference, when it comes to putting something on these sites. Some are more navigation than others and even for me it's hard to figure how to write things on here.

If it's a red flag for you that your boundary i understand, but every once in a while I will reach out to someone. I don't show any information about me on here if that makes my profile a red flag than I get it. But you don't know if there's an actual reason they don't have anything or if they just don't want to put in the effort.

A lot of people come here and expect sex I for one am not here for that. I have different interests that may lead to something physical but my priority is not that. I have different interests that are inclusive to things in the kink world but not everyone feels the comfort to speak up and talk. They jump in too eager or get a few bad messages and they don't know how to navigate what they want and seek who they are looking for.

There are turds that think one or two phrases or words allow them to speak anyone the way they want but they are looking only for things themselves. Media and movies portray this community as an entity but it's more complex than that. They want to see if it's really like that and in most cases it is not.

No one should come at anyone on here disrespectfully. I don't think people really know what they want and build them up only to get freaked out and don't follow through with meeting in person and others have a fantasy buildup in their head that doesn't play out as the envision.

[ey****]

8 hours ago, Pete080 said:

It's weird, because as a sub I always do the opposite of that, and why I'm never picked?
Even doing exactly as she says in the profile, I'm tossed aside, I guess women like men that are invasive and say what they want even if it's a sub, I'll leave the BDSM world, I'll never be the sub to fulfil my domme's wishes, because they choose those with more "attitude".

if you are sour when you don't get "picked" - then they were right not to "pick" you. 

[Deleted Member]

Omg all the time! On my profile I state NO MEN, and yet it's always men slipping in my DMs getting sexually aggressive

[Laycette]

18 hours ago, TwistedTreat69 said:

I'm going to tell you what I see when I read a very detailed profile. Far too much information for me to make any meaningful gesture... Say someone lists they like 50 things. I wouldn't assume that you are always up for doing all 50 of those things all the time. So I would probably message "what are you looking for?" Because you've listed the yellow pages which can at times be less helpful than a short and sweet paragraph with a simple warning about scum being ignored.
----
Not justify the true scum I have seen floating around apps like these but it is a double edged sword when you can't just speak words to someone and have to rely on text. Which as we all probably have experience of, is easy to miscommunicate in... I've seen women's accounts on these and it is absolutely f**king mental the number of scummy messages they get daily.

Wow.  Um, yeah a detailed profile is not one where they just select all the options. I mean, I put effort in to actually describe what I am looking for and why, which, if you had... I dunno... /looked at my profile/ you'd know lol 

[ba****]

I've noticed a lot when you apply filters for that exact reason, the opposite still bleeds into searches. Yes people should still be correct about what they do, but the app isnt any better

[It****]

Had a few bad experiences huh?

[Si****]

Good afternoon Soyo.
It's definitely a boundary issue. I found through the several platforms I use that it is a universal problem. I do believe it's a boy problem, men don't act that way. Unfortunately we have 60-year-old adolescents that believe BDSM is a fun kink to do something now and again. The truth of the matter is for people like myself who take this as a spiritual, mental, physical reprieve from this fowl year of 2025 and the previous, They don't respect themselves let alone respect anyone else. I'm sure if you tallied all their intelligent quotient points together we can come up with a good round number of five. I've been in the scene for over 20 years and only to find that it's only getting worse with technology, availability and the separation of the traditional masculine male role model, as from father to son. Hold the faith!

[Rainydaye88]

7 hours ago, batguy37 said:

I've noticed a lot when you apply filters for that exact reason, the opposite still bleeds into searches. Yes people should still be correct about what they do, but the app isnt any better

Yeah. Don't get me wrong, men are still looking at my profile even after removing them from my timeline, preferences, and browsing, but it cuts down on how many loud and wrong men send me a message out of the blue with all the audacity. I went from multiple times a day to maybe once a month. And that's just cause I know its cause I'm sometimes active in forums which adds to my visibility.

[Do****]

Click top left in their messaging and “no thanks and hide”. It takes them out of your messaging box and they can’t send you anymore.

[Sa****]

@Soya!!!!! Thank you!!!!! Absolutely, 💯% Perfectly said ⚘️

[ja****]

Now I agree with u

[Fu****]

Well said. It is so disgraceful to blatantly disregard someone’s stated preferences

[Deleted Member]

Absolutely! I am working on finishing my profile. The wife and I are here and in this together. Very first message I get is from some person that couldn't be bothered to put more than minimum effort into their profile asking if they could play with us. No hi, no hint that they even read anything on my profile. Just 0 to 60. I couldn't put my finger on it, but you are right: red flag. It almost seemed like the person was just throwing noodles at a wall to see what would stick. Yikes.

[da****]

I see this so often. It burns me out of the app. I get annoyed and just ignore it until I've refreshed my brain battery. Ugh.