Exploring Kink: Your Thoughts & Experiences

[Si****]

What's a 'soft' or beginner kink you'd recommend to someone curious about exploring?

[Ka****]

Kink is a very individual journey, I started with YouTube videos and articles for a year before I showed up here. Have a look around, see what appeals to you then start self exploring. My number one piece of advice would be self explore and not rely on someone to show you

[ja****]

Depends on what you’re looking for, but usually its all in the same realm just play softly and use your safe words cautiously, and there is stuff you’ll enjoy and stuff you wont and bit by bit youll have an idea on where to start digging deep

[typhoon2]

Taking orders or instructions. Role-play through an inspection, clothed or not depending on the dynamic. The bottom will learn about giving up control while the Top will learn about using control responsibly and effectively. The actual inspection could be as simple as turning around slowly, or posing in desirable stances. From this many other kinks can develop but if something like this has no effect then perhaps kink is not a suitable avenue to explore.

[Ka****]

7 minutes ago, typhoon2 said:

Taking orders or instructions. Role-play through an inspection, clothed or not depending on the dynamic. The bottom will learn about giving up control while the Top will learn about using control responsibly and effectively. The actual inspection could be as simple as turning around slowly, or posing in desirable stances. From this many other kinks can develop but if something like this has no effect then perhaps kink is not a suitable avenue to explore.

Giving someone you don't know or trust control like that isn't an exploring thing, that's a recipe for disaster. Kink 101, vet your kink partner, learn how to negotiate and set boundaries and make sure you trust your partner and you're safe! Kink is not a wing it and see activity. Thats recipe for disaster and getting into bad situations

[typhoon2]

11 minutes ago, Kaserai said:

Giving someone you don't know or trust control like that isn't an exploring thing, that's a recipe for disaster. Kink 101, vet your kink partner, learn how to negotiate and set boundaries and make sure you trust your partner and you're safe! Kink is not a wing it and see activity. Thats recipe for disaster and getting into bad situations

Vetting is mever 100% effective. Trust is the result of experience, and without experience there will never be trust.  The OP asked for ideas from a complete start point so how you expect to gain all the trust and experience issues without doing anything at all I don't know. My suggestion had no ***, no restraints, no lasting effects. 

[Ka****]

8 minutes ago, typhoon2 said:

Vetting is mever 100% effective. Trust is the result of experience, and without experience there will never be trust.  The OP asked for ideas from a complete start point so how you expect to gain all the trust and experience issues without doing anything at all I don't know. My suggestion had no ***, no restraints, no lasting effects. 

Vetting is closer to 100% than trusting a stranger with a crop or rope having no experience of the as the a person, are they a liar, are their intentions clear, will they stop if you say stop? Yeah, ideas from a complete start point, your advice is when you've figure yourself out enough to even know your limits and wandered into a place that doesn't scenes. Workshops, online and physical is the start point, your advice is defo the intermediate point. Your suggestion could absolutely lead into lasting effects. Not everyone in kink is there for the right reasons and even if they are they can make mistakes if OP rushes into it half cocked like youre suggesting he should. Any kink for beginners article or workshop or course talks forst about vetting, how to vet, negotiations, boundaries, do as much as you can yourself. I am mentored under two doms through workshops and they literally warn against winging it.

[Ji****]

I wouldn’t. I’d recommend learning about vetting, safe words, before care, after care. I’d recommend mentors and those who can help create safety - both physical and emotional.

Just my two cents

[ge****]

3 hours ago, Kaserai said:

Vetting is closer to 100% than trusting a stranger with a crop or rope having no experience of the as the a person, are they a liar, are their intentions clear, will they stop if you say stop? Yeah, ideas from a complete start point, your advice is when you've figure yourself out enough to even know your limits and wandered into a place that doesn't scenes. Workshops, online and physical is the start point, your advice is defo the intermediate point. Your suggestion could absolutely lead into lasting effects. Not everyone in kink is there for the right reasons and even if they are they can make mistakes if OP rushes into it half cocked like youre suggesting he should. Any kink for beginners article or workshop or course talks forst about vetting, how to vet, negotiations, boundaries, do as much as you can yourself. I am mentored under two doms through workshops and they literally warn against winging it.

Kasserai, I take your side… it’s the safer approach… possible risks are identified and mitigated…

typhoon2 I think I’m understanding you correctly… women, in general, need require… a softer approach, I’m confident you appreciate my words… and your approach may have worked multiple times. But it only has to fail once and many will be affected… just my suggestion sir!
R

[Ka****]

9 minutes ago, gentle-old-man said:

Kasserai, I take your side… it’s the safer approach… possible risks are identified and mitigated…

typhoon2 I think I’m understanding you correctly… women, in general, need require… a softer approach, I’m confident you appreciate my words… and your approach may have worked multiple times. But it only has to fail once and many will be affected… just my suggestion sir!
R

I think anyone new and not really knowing where there limits are. Do it in a safe environment not a person off here who might over estimate their ability or straight up not be a good person. If anyone was to take Typhoons idea I'd recommend a professional Top/Dom who knows how to step things up, knows what to look for to avoid any traumatic experiences. My friends partner who had never done Shibari wanted to go right to extreme ties and suspension, my mate - naive, thankfully listened when I said to start off with none restrictive ties and build up cause that's how you find limits. If he's have done what she asked she may have hated it, may have got nerve damage and it end up traumatic for them both. Unless its rough sex, spanking and choking, winging it ain't the answer.

[ey****]

there's no such thing as a "beginners kink"

there are kinks you might approach differently as a beginner - sure.

But, start by finding out what interests you.  Take some time to look at different kinks and what makes you got "Nah", "Maybe", or "ooh" - and any that make you go "ooh" do some independent research.  Learn the risks.  

[Tw****]

If introducing someone else to the world. There are some "tests/experiments" you can do that begin with simple tests like reaction to verbal, hard , soft and neutral touches/actions. These tests require honest feedback and should never be taken as always correct (people change their minds). I have never done these, simply due to most of my partners already knowing what they like/dislike. I would relish the opportunity to subject someone to these tests though...
Also you should talk about it before in order to find the right experiments. (Don't make someone a cup of tea if they don't like tea)

[Tw****]

(don't make someone a cup of tea if they don't like tea) ☕