Carefully Removing A Hard Limit

[Di****]

Anyone else had a hard limit that became curiosity, then a soft limit, and then regular activity?
When I started exploring BDSM, I attended a few events and learned that needle play and sounding were things that people did and enjoyed. I, however, was terrified of both. After a while, watching bottoms reactions to their scenes, I got curious. I talked a needle top into giving me my first play piercings and a Leatherman into sounding me. I'm now at the point where I will do both on myself .
Anyone else started of with a hard limit and ended up thinking "You know..."

[ja****]

Yes, usually with extra care and extra knowledge of the hard limit and a really understanding partner yiur hard limits can be explored softly till they become regular.. its like traumas and phobias once you treat them with caution and support you can overcome them.. but consider your hard limits is where you draw the line that there is no going back when it crossed

[fu****]

Yes sir

[Deleted Member]

Flogging. I was very against flogging anyone but over time and attending a lot of events / house parties I’ve grown more comfortable with and skilled with flogging play partners. I’m at a point now that my partners will yellow before I will.

[Sp****]

Absolutely! With the right partner in environment things that you never thought you would do come to be a possibility and then actually become enjoyable.

[He****]

Yup! Butt stuff.

[Co****]

My partner hated canes due to a bad experience once, but loved impact. Canes were a hard limit, but with the trust that came from Everything else over a long time and other kinds of consensual conditionings, she asked me one day to help push through the cane issue and learn to love it too.

So lots of discussion, about the WHY it was a limit, a plan was made to compensate, pleasure and *** mixed to condition and then when ready, the full experience was finally enjoyed.

Gotta work together, find people to trust to take you through the steps, take time and go at the limit holders pace.

[Ca****]

Apparently I had a hard limit on connecting with people that everyone knows about except me and everybody is very good at respecting in 😂😂😂

[bi****]

I was really scared to spank a girl. I have really big hands and was concerned about hurting her. Eventually I realized I liked it too! Probably seems tame but it’s new to me

[Deleted Member]

For the longest time, I was terrified of knife play despite writing role-plays about it 😂 then I guess curiosity got the best of me and I began watching videos of it and went to a play party and I saw in person and instantly I want to try it!!! I saw the person use different techniques, pressures and sensations, and the way she was withering against the cage was inspiration

[Du****]

Yeah, I went from Android to iPhone 🙄

[Me****]

Yup 😇

[Ol****]

I have had one that I have tried and became a hard no lol

[wi****]

I tried a new thing in spring, and it was a failure to launch

[St****]

Butt stuff my dude. Slowly working up to having my own plug!! She has been patient the entire process... patient but eager lol It was always a hard pass till a medical situation popped up and I was like "Ya know,... This ain't that bad babe" .

[Ef****]

I had a hard limit concerning one of my boobs because I’d had cancer but over time my dom, starting extremely gently has built up my tolerance and l can now be spanked and flogged on it. A hard limit no more.

[sh****]

Can I ask what sounding is?

[Od****]

July 28, shadowkenz said:

Can I ask what sounding is?

It's when a specially made rod is inserted into the urethra. For some people it's an otherworldly experience.

[Ne****]

Being so new to all this, I knew vanilla was never enough. But understanding some of the terminology is a little confusing. I get hard limit= absolutely not! But soft limit, what exactly is that. Example: I recently read a bio that had a soft limit of anal, can someone explain?

[Od****]

9 hours ago, Newexplorerlikeit said:

Being so new to all this, I knew vanilla was never enough. But understanding some of the terminology is a little confusing. I get hard limit= absolutely not! But soft limit, what exactly is that. Example: I recently read a bio that had a soft limit of anal, can someone explain?

I've always understood a soft limit as being "I'm curious, but not ready to explore".
Usually that line is one that can be crossed after trust is built, and the sub has always let me know when they were ready.

[Ne****]

Thank you for the insight @Oddball79

[Od****]

Not a problem.

[Ma****]

I believe that any limit MIGHT be adjustable, if you wish - but that's a very personal choice. Limits are such for a reason, regardless of whether it be irrational, sensible, or beyond question. The person having that limit also has the absolute right to set the parameters for it...

I've seen people who consider all their limits like a challenge, and others who consider them unapproachable. We're all different, as long as we communicate well enough with our (prospective) partners to understand each other, there's room for us all in this lifestyle.

[Ma****]

Wednesday at 02:40 AM, Oddball79 said:

I've always understood a soft limit as being "I'm curious, but not ready to explore".
Usually that line is one that can be crossed after trust is built, and the sub has always let me know when they were ready.

I consider that to be a personal person, not universal... IMHO a soft limit is currently not not available - but the ways or circumstances it might be considered, may vary greatly. Probably with trust, but commonly an unwelcome activity might be accepted for the right person, circumstances, or encouragement - but it might still remain unwelcome.

I'm not sure there can be many ways to generalise the contours of a limit - other than the need for care. And understanding.

[Od****]

14 minutes ago, MastrPaul said:

I consider that to be a personal person, not universal... IMHO a soft limit is currently not not available - but the ways or circumstances it might be considered, may vary greatly. Probably with trust, but commonly an unwelcome activity might be accepted for the right person, circumstances, or encouragement - but it might still remain unwelcome.

I'm not sure there can be many ways to generalise the contours of a limit - other than the need for care. And understanding.

Fair enough, but like I said I wait until my sub lets me know. If they never bring it up, neither do I.

My goal is never red. Orange definitely, but never red. Plenty of fun to be had without those activities.