The first time

[Ha****]

I’m writing this waiting for my flight back home. Four days in Memphis with my Dom. It was our first time meeting in person after building our connection from a distance, carefully and intentionally, over time.

There is something I want to offer to others in this community who might be preparing for their own first in-person meetings. It is worth moving slowly. It is worth choosing each other with care. It is worth letting the foundation settle fully before stepping into physical space.

What he and I created in the past four days is still settling in me. It was not just about play. Yes, there were moments when his touch unraveled me, when his voice settled me, when the way he claimed my body left me breathless. But what lingers, what staying, is the sweetness of the small things.

It was sharing slow mornings with coffee, the quiet comfort of sitting close. It was dancing together in the kitchen and feeling how easily joy can live in a body when you feel safe. It was watching one of my favorite shows with him and feeling deeply cared for because he let it matter to him simply because it mattered to me.

And yes, it was his hands. His hands that found places on my body I did not know would respond to him so fully. His touch landed everywhere. His touch stayed everywhere. I loved giving my body to him. I loved offering myself again and again. I loved trusting him with what I gave.

And then there was the flogging…I did not expect to enjoy it the way I did. I thought it might be something I tolerated or something I would endure, but instead, I found myself craving it. The rhythm of it, the weight of it, the way his energy wrapped around me as he worked. I felt alive inside those moments. I felt open. I felt owned. I felt completely present in my body. I did not know it would settle in me this deeply, but now I miss it. Now I want more.

More than anything, I loved being seen by him. I loved existing with him without needing to perform or prove. I loved being his baby girl, fully, in real time. I felt safe. I felt chosen. I felt like I could bring all of me, the soft, the loud, the needy, the unsure, and be held with care.

If you are in this lifestyle and you are considering meeting someone in person for the first time, please give yourself the time to build what you need before you step into physical space. What made our time so intense and comfortable was that the emotional trust was already there. By the time we touched, I already knew I was his. I already knew I wanted to offer myself. I already knew I was safe.

For those who have experienced first in-person meetings, what made you feel safe? What helped you know you were ready to cross that threshold? And for those who have recently met in-person with a new D/s partner, what surprised you the most?

[No****]

Thank you for sharing

[Ha****]

2 minutes ago, Notti_my_Fault said:

Thank you for sharing

Thank you for reading 🙂

[pl****]

So jealous would love to feel that!!

[al****]

That was inspiring. I had thoughts about what can i tolerate, will it excite me, and how much fun can it really be? But after reading letter, I think that I just might come around.

[Deleted Member]

So beautiful 🖤

[NickFromCenla]

Very well written. Can feel your residual feelings in your word selection.

[GreyHog]

I agree with your advice. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. Take time, be patient, ask the questions, BEFORE you even think about meeting.

And ALWAYS have a backup plan. If you get to your destination, and things aren't what you expect or aren't as described, have a safe place to go and regroup. Coffee shop, library, cafe... and a hotel or Airbnb close by. Never leave yourself in a desperate situation.

My baby girl.... I miss your touch and your smile. Our "real life" moments are as connecting as the bracelets you wear for your Daddy. 

You are delightful in your submission. I could see the glow in your eyes, even as you left in the Uber. Our energy created a shine in you... and a warm spot in my soul.

Thank you....

[Ha****]

22 minutes ago, GreyHog said:

I agree with your advice. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. Take time, be patient, ask the questions, BEFORE you even think about meeting.

And ALWAYS have a backup plan. If you get to your destination, and things aren't what you expect or aren't as described, have a safe place to go and regroup. Coffee shop, library, cafe... and a hotel or Airbnb close by. Never leave yourself in a desperate situation.

My baby girl.... I miss your touch and your smile. Our "real life" moments are as connecting as the bracelets you wear for your Daddy. 

You are delightful in your submission. I could see the glow in your eyes, even as you left in the Uber. Our energy created a shine in you... and a warm spot in my soul.

Thank you....

Thank you Daddy 😌

[843BigBoi]

I totally understand this and respect what you are saying but if you have cancer and you're dying and you want to meet someone then you don't have time for all of the slow moving text messages each day taking forever to meet. My thing is that you will be able to tell within the first 5 minutes of meeting whether or not you're going to be able to stand the person or meet them ever again so why not just save all the damn text messages and tell the person to their face what they want to know because then at least they will know you're not lying or hiding behind a phone. Just different strokes for different folks I guess

[Ha****]

9 minutes ago, 843BigBoi said:

I totally understand this and respect what you are saying but if you have cancer and you're dying and you want to meet someone then you don't have time for all of the slow moving text messages each day taking forever to meet. My thing is that you will be able to tell within the first 5 minutes of meeting whether or not you're going to be able to stand the person or meet them ever again so why not just save all the damn text messages and tell the person to their face what they want to know because then at least they will know you're not lying or hiding behind a phone. Just different strokes for different folks I guess

Wait… so if I tell someone it’s the last day of my life and I’m dying, does that mean we have to sleep together now? Is that how this works?! I’ve been doing this all wrong 🫣🤣

All jokes aside, urgency might shifts things but not everyone feels safe jumping straight into a meet-up. For some of us, texting isn’t about dragging it out. It’s about filtering, feeling people out, and seeing if they actually respect how we move. You might be able to tell in five minutes, but not everyone can or wants to take that gamble.

You’re right about one thing though. Different strokes for different folks. Just don’t confuse caution with hiding.