Opinions needed

[Deleted Member]

Why are you scared to ask what is wrong.

Instead of talking to this man and even putting in a half assed attempt at communication you ran to strangers with no knowledge of either of you so that you could obtain some plausible deniability.

Are you afraid to find out you may have hurt him?
No one in this skull duggery of a forum knows any real facts. Talk to him,
Trace your footsteps back and see if the two of you can figure out what happened.
I wouldn't doubt for half a second he might be somewhere else rn having the same feelings as you. I just gave you some grief about this but he may not be communicating with you as well as he should either. You twos could open a bridge of communication that has endless possibilities from agreeing its changed and you both want out. This could be something that quite possibly be laughed off and you two remain friends.


Take accountability for yourself, you chose to talk to strangers before talking to him that's just rude and the betrayal of any trust the two of you ever earned from eachother.

Why must everyone assume they cant handle situations themselves, its simple, our egos which is in fact what is entirely wrong with the human race as a whole, doesn't like to be blamed, doesn't like to lose,and sure as hell hates ***. Grow a back bone and at the very least be a friend one more time and speak with him,he may be thinking the same .


COMMUNICATION, HONESTY, A BIT OF HUMILITY,

[Deleted Member]

41 minutes ago, Reddadi said:

Why are you scared to ask what is wrong.

Instead of talking to this man and even putting in a half assed attempt at communication you ran to strangers with no knowledge of either of you so that you could obtain some plausible deniability.

Are you afraid to find out you may have hurt him?
No one in this skull duggery of a forum knows any real facts. Talk to him,
Trace your footsteps back and see if the two of you can figure out what happened.
I wouldn't doubt for half a second he might be somewhere else rn having the same feelings as you. I just gave you some grief about this but he may not be communicating with you as well as he should either. You twos could open a bridge of communication that has endless possibilities from agreeing its changed and you both want out. This could be something that quite possibly be laughed off and you two remain friends.


Take accountability for yourself, you chose to talk to strangers before talking to him that's just rude and the betrayal of any trust the two of you ever earned from eachother.

Why must everyone assume they cant handle situations themselves, its simple, our egos which is in fact what is entirely wrong with the human race as a whole, doesn't like to be blamed, doesn't like to lose,and sure as hell hates ***. Grow a back bone and at the very least be a friend one more time and speak with him,he may be thinking the same .


COMMUNICATION, HONESTY, A BIT OF HUMILITY,

I include myself in not knowing real facts these are all of our opinions. I have always been told that opinions are like a**holesl

[ey****]

12 hours ago, mermaidkat1990 said:

I wish it was that easy! When a boys ego is hurt they lash out

this is the issue

guys will tell you they want the truth, but, err... can't handle it

if you chose to just hit ignore, sure, in his head you'll be the bad guy - but he can't lash out as you've hit ignore

you can, I guess, tell him you find him boring, and you're not enjoying conversing with him - goodbye, and then hitting 'ignore' so he has closure, but that feels more rude than just hitting the old ignore button 

[no****]

It's best to be honest in a basic way. You don't believe you mesh well and that you're no longer interested in seeing them. I would ghost them, if they are an adult then they will move on if they aren't block them. It's best to say it, there's not reason to be mean or cruel to anyone if you're not interested.

However, ask yourself why you see it that way. You met up for a reason, what was the reason. Did you talk first or just message and say meet me here. I never go by first impression because it is awkward for most. I would meet them in a setting they enjoy, and potentially with their friends. That interaction will let you see them in their element and give you an idea of their personality. Some do open up right away and may not know where to take a conversation or they have their go to subject that just may not interest you. Find something that you have in common and go from there.

There isn't a lot of context but if you think he's boring then it's best to know why you believe that. You met there for some reason and just specifically say what your interests is. It be physically, or something they told you to take that next step

[Deleted Member]

Sunday at 06:49 PM, mermaidkat1990 said:

I’m a very talkative person but this guy will only give me one word answers and he hates his life it seems. I tried starting up convo but he is still boring as heck!! But he just doesn’t get it when I try to be nice.

then tell the person abd stop messing with them

[me****]

3 hours ago, HeartzzzzThemFingers said:

then tell the person abd stop messing with them

I’m not messing with them! They are the one who continues to message me mean things! I’ve blocked him but he makes other profiles mad at me for rejecting him.

[Wi****]

You're way too beautiful to be dealing with that

[Deleted Member]

As they said before, just say it how it is, but you can deliver it in a nice way. I.e. not "You're boring, good bye...", rather "Listen, I'm no goddess (hah!), but we're not connecting in the way I thought we would and I've decided not to explore this any further. Hope you manage to find someone to better connect with. [Optional], "To be honest with you, it was just lacking excitement in conversation and activity and so you're not thinking it's something else, I just lost interest quite quickly and that doesn't mean anything is wrong with either of us, just we are not as compatible as we might be with others, was lovely to meet you though and I enjoy meeting different people, it helps us grow, and you might avoid anyone like me in the future, but they would not be me, and that could have been your best match. Thank you for taking time to meet me and best of luck! x"

^_^ then there's... blunt. "I lost interest after 2 minutes and just wanted to leave, but I didn't want you to feel bad at the time, but that's a lie, I didn't want to feel bad or like a total B**** for being so blunt and honest, which usually doesn't go down well, like I do (mwahaha), hence the message as I'll not be meeting up again and that's why it was a short meet up. I didn't feel the connection I was looking for, I hope you find yours. Some men cause a scene, hence the message, please don't follow up. best of luck, bye! :)"
- I prefer this one personally, at least you're not being fake, it's also easier to know what to say, whether it comes out garbled or not...

- It's likely he didn't disclose his interests well, or there was a lack of common ground or most importantly, a connection. #MeaningOfLife
- The boring guy may also have had a near miss, or felt the same  you just never know  

Edited July 16 by Deleted Member
wording at end of first paragraph didn't make sense, :D Re-read after :)

[Deleted Member]

22 hours ago, mermaidkat1990 said:

I’m not messing with them! They are the one who continues to message me mean things! I’ve blocked him but he makes other profiles mad at me for rejecting him.

you sure its rhe same perosn ? i mean sometimes i swear the same thing happens to me but he aint mean

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, Peter31 said:

As they said before, just say it how it is, but you can deliver it in a nice way. I.e. not "You're boring, good bye...", rather "Listen, I'm no goddess (hah!), but we're not connecting in the way I thought we would and I've decided not to explore this any further. Hope you manage to find someone to better connect with. [Optional], "To be honest with you, it was just lacking excitement in conversation and activity and so you're not thinking it's something else, I just lost interest quite quickly and that doesn't mean anything is wrong with either of us, just we are not as compatible as we might be with others, was lovely to meet you though and I enjoy meeting different people, it helps us grow, and you might avoid anyone like me in the future, but they would not be me, and that could have been your best match. Thank you for taking time to meet me and best of luck! x"

^_^ then there's... blunt. "I lost interest after 2 minutes and just wanted to leave, but I didn't want you to feel bad at the time, but that's a lie, I didn't want to feel bad or like a total B**** for being so blunt and honest, which usually doesn't go down well, like I do (mwahaha), hence the message as I'll not be meeting up again and that's why it was a short meet up. I didn't feel the connection I was looking for, I hope you find yours. Some men cause a scene, hence the message, please don't follow up. best of luck, bye! :)"
- I prefer this one personally, at least you're not being fake, it's also easier to know what to say, whether it comes out garbled or not...

- It's likely he didn't disclose his interests well, or there was a lack of common ground or most importantly, a connection. #MeaningOfLife
- The boring guy may also have had a near miss, or felt the same  you just never know  

a simple hey hun this isnt working im sorry but in wont be messaging you back anymore oh but we can continue to neet uo for blowhobs 🙄

[an****]

I just give the not interested mesage with no context. Sorry for anyone’s feels, but I don’t know you.

[re****]

We seem to not connect on the level I am seeking sorry

[de****]

I would never tell somebody that because that's rude. And that would be disrespectful tell Dan they're boring or something. I'll my *** my personal point of view. I wouldn't do that because you tell that person they're boring and it's not. That's gonna as a man solve today and ask him to hurt their feelings. And they're gonna feel low and probably down and depressed and make them. And that's gonna make them think like there's nothing but worthless piece of you know what? So I wouldn't do that to somebody.That was being wrong and would be totally the worst.That would be the worst thing you could do to update the terrible and worst thing you could do to a person.I wouldn't never do that to somebody

[me****]

18 hours ago, denton907762 said:

I would never tell somebody that because that's rude. And that would be disrespectful tell Dan they're boring or something. I'll my *** my personal point of view. I wouldn't do that because you tell that person they're boring and it's not. That's gonna as a man solve today and ask him to hurt their feelings. And they're gonna feel low and probably down and depressed and make them. And that's gonna make them think like there's nothing but worthless piece of you know what? So I wouldn't do that to somebody.That was being wrong and would be totally the worst.That would be the worst thing you could do to update the terrible and worst thing you could do to a person.I wouldn't never do that to somebody

I’m not here to baby a man. If you are boring you are boring. But I’m mot going to bring my bubbly self to a man who can’t even complete a full sentence. Sorry, you knew you were boring and you approached someone who wasn’t. That lands on YOU

[de****]

I'm just saying I'm not going to tell a person that I don't like that. He's boring for just to wait talks. I'm not gonna say something to make him feel bad and feel making. Feel down and make him feel depressed. Remain hurt when I'm not gonna tell that person that they are boring. I'm not gonna say something that's gonna make them feel Lowe and feel miserable, and I'm not going so they won't feel like they that nobody cares about them. Cause that's not right. And that's not being considered, and that's not being very nice to that person. I'm not being rude. And I'm been inconsiderate. That's what I'm saying, that's what. What I meant

[ey****]

I said it above, will say it again

You cannot win with men.  They'll tell you they won't the truth, but if you give them the truth (they were boring, hard work, or any other negative trait) then you'll be accused of being a bitch or inconsiderate - other men will blame you for impacting his "mental wellbeing"

if you let someone down gently, then you're lying and they'll keep coming back thinking they can have another chance or keep coming back "seeking closure" - other men will blame you for not being honest

if you just thump the 'ignore' button, it saves the emotional labour and is a firm boundary - but then they'll bitch about "ghosting" and "being blocked for no reason" 

[me****]

2 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I said it above, will say it again

You cannot win with men.  They'll tell you they won't the truth, but if you give them the truth (they were boring, hard work, or any other negative trait) then you'll be accused of being a bitch or inconsiderate - other men will blame you for impacting his "mental wellbeing"

if you let someone down gently, then you're lying and they'll keep coming back thinking they can have another chance or keep coming back "seeking closure" - other men will blame you for not being honest

if you just thump the 'ignore' button, it saves the emotional labour and is a firm boundary - but then they'll bitch about "ghosting" and "being blocked for no reason" 

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[ma****]

Let em bitch and rain truth! I don't have a problem with constructive criticism or truth. He obviously knows he's like that. Just move on. Ghosting is a cowardly retreat. Raining truth is the only right thing to do. I'll give you a gold star every time!

[Deleted Member]

8 hours ago, mermaidkat1990 said:

I’m not here to baby a man. If you are boring you are boring. But I’m mot going to bring my bubbly self to a man who can’t even complete a full sentence. Sorry, you knew you were boring and you approached someone who wasn’t. That lands on YOU

Boring is a matter of perspective. In this case of yours. This doesn't make him a boring man/person.

If you meet someone... you don't know if they are really interesting, because you don't really know them, if you did, it would land on you for meeting him in the first place.

Consider the possibility that he may not have found you to be what he first thought. Bubbly personalities like any other, have positives and negatives. None of us are special, except me.   That's my perspective  

He may have been nervous, anxious, excited, all at once, as you met with him, showing interest and promise. That could make finishing a sentence a bit difficult. He may not consider himself boring, he likely just has different areas of interest that you don't find exciting or a voice that you find too dull to listen to, again your perspective, not everyone's.

People find it easier to be themselves when not face to face, so when you found him great, he was likely being more himself.

The way you handle this, reflects on you and impacts you both, the rest of us don't care. Do as you like, it seems it will reach an outcome better for him too, he'll recover.

Everybody follows a different path and grows as a person in their own way. I hope the next is as considerate to you as you are to him.

[me****]

13 hours ago, Peter31 said:

Boring is a matter of perspective. In this case of yours. This doesn't make him a boring man/person.

If you meet someone... you don't know if they are really interesting, because you don't really know them, if you did, it would land on you for meeting him in the first place.

Consider the possibility that he may not have found you to be what he first thought. Bubbly personalities like any other, have positives and negatives. None of us are special, except me.   That's my perspective  

He may have been nervous, anxious, excited, all at once, as you met with him, showing interest and promise. That could make finishing a sentence a bit difficult. He may not consider himself boring, he likely just has different areas of interest that you don't find exciting or a voice that you find too dull to listen to, again your perspective, not everyone's.

People find it easier to be themselves when not face to face, so when you found him great, he was likely being more himself.

The way you handle this, reflects on you and impacts you both, the rest of us don't care. Do as you like, it seems it will reach an outcome better for him too, he'll recover.

Everybody follows a different path and grows as a person in their own way. I hope the next is as considerate to you as you are to him.

We never met. Talking off an app he couldn’t complete sentences or one worded answers, I had to initiate EVERY single conversation, he hated everything and everyone it seemed like and most of all, whenever I was nice just asking about his day he only would write ok. So yes. BORING!

[An****]

Everyone has a different personality and all that for sure, and some people might find something boring that others wouldn't, I think we all understand that.

However there are situations or people who can just be genuinely universally boring and this guy definitely seems like he falls in that box, whether it because of current personal circumstance or whatever.

If you have to initiate every single convo thats not usually someone that will be worth keeping up that effort for, if you're writing whole well thought out messages trying to be more connected and learn more about the person and never get more than an "ok" or a one sentence response than that person is most likely not the person you should be putting your energy into.

It sounds like this person has a lot they need to deal with before having any kind of deeper meaningful connections with people.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that, from what im reading in these posts though I think it would be pretty safe to say you did your best and this person just isn't at a place where he will see or appreciate the light you are bringing.

[sm****]

TBH ignoring and blocking is not only rude but can send out so many wrong signals and open to the usual people lashing out at the supposed lack of respect and rejection.  If your afraid to actually tell them "they are boring as hell" the honest best way is to say "I just don't feel a connection on what we both need etc"  be polite being blunt can have a negative effect on some.

Giving the other side a reasonable answer will also offer closure to both involved as well as self respect.  There is nothing worse than being ghosted as we all to often see topics on that subject and the effect is can have,

If the other person keeps persisting then you have no other alternative that to block them.   As it will also show their lack of emotional maturity.  Everyone should be given the opportunity of the thanks but not for me answer.

[Deleted Member]

7 hours ago, mermaidkat1990 said:

We never met. Talking off an app he couldn’t complete sentences or one worded answers, I had to initiate EVERY single conversation, he hated everything and everyone it seemed like and most of all, whenever I was nice just asking about his day he only would write ok. So yes. BORING!

Apologies. That's on me for not clarifying  clearly red flags. I assumed you had met up and in my mind, placed you both at a table on a date, where the realisation that it wasn't going to work kicked in,  because the effort and interest was one way. I guess you simply want to stop the, phone/video calls that feel more like a chore. Doesn't sound like he is interested.

You could always send him this:
> "Listen, this isn't going to work, I feel the effort is clearly one-way and that's not what I'm looking for. I want to find someone who can at least sweep me off my feet from time to time, and you can't even locate the broom. I hope you manage to find someone too, thank you for taking the time to listen to me all these times and I wish you the best. Goodbye".

At least if he does send an unfriendly message, it'll only contain one word and you can block.

^_- I even kept out blowjob humour, so it didn't get misinterpreted again as maintaining a connection...

I doubt he is universally boring, he just isn't shining right now.  Perhaps it's just where he is at. I've no idea, I don't know him  

I doubt there is much of a connection there, or a long term one, so I don't think it matters how you end as much as I first thought. But it could still be nicer than what I wrote. I just like to keep myself amused  End it fast, move on, don't waste any more time. YOLO.

[me****]

5 hours ago, Peter31 said:

Apologies. That's on me for not clarifying  clearly red flags. I assumed you had met up and in my mind, placed you both at a table on a date, where the realisation that it wasn't going to work kicked in,  because the effort and interest was one way. I guess you simply want to stop the, phone/video calls that feel more like a chore. Doesn't sound like he is interested.

You could always send him this:
> "Listen, this isn't going to work, I feel the effort is clearly one-way and that's not what I'm looking for. I want to find someone who can at least sweep me off my feet from time to time, and you can't even locate the broom. I hope you manage to find someone too, thank you for taking the time to listen to me all these times and I wish you the best. Goodbye".

At least if he does send an unfriendly message, it'll only contain one word and you can block.

^_- I even kept out blowjob humour, so it didn't get misinterpreted again as maintaining a connection...

I doubt he is universally boring, he just isn't shining right now.  Perhaps it's just where he is at. I've no idea, I don't know him  

I doubt there is much of a connection there, or a long term one, so I don't think it matters how you end as much as I first thought. But it could still be nicer than what I wrote. I just like to keep myself amused  End it fast, move on, don't waste any more time. YOLO.

You can’t locate the broom I literally ***d myself laughing

[DarkArts1066]

You don’t have to put up with boring - but you don’t have to break another persons soul because they are boring either.

Some people are just made that way…. They have no spark -for whatever reason.

I believe you say that you’ve not met this person face to face ?…. That makes it easier.

When (if!) they pop up to engage with you, simply tell them that there is no spark between the two of you, and that you won’t be continuing to chat.

If they are as dull as you say they are, they’ll simply disengage with you anyway.

Personally, if they are THAT dull, I wouldn’t feel it was my role to point out their shortcomings…. Especially if they are a full blown adult.

There are plenty more fish in the sea for you…. Who knows, maybe there will be someone out there for them too.

That’s my “straight from the hip” version.