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Any curious, newbie virgins? Is there a place for one so inexperienced?


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Posted

I’m new to this lifestyle, but very interested and excited to learn about it.  Just unsure of where to start. As a virgin, I THINK I’d know what I like, but don’t have the experience to back it up. I don’t want to come off burdensome to veterans, but at the same time I don’t want to sound like a poser when I just don’t know a lot. Can anyone relate? 

Posted

I think as an important thing - everyone was new once.

And yeah, I get the idea of thinking you know what you want/like but also not wanting to trouble someone if you find you don't like it and it's something they're into

I did a lot of early experimenting where I could in local fetish circles - making friends via munches/events/workshops - this often meant I could try something with someone and it was no skin if one or the other of us didn't like it.

Obviously some fetishes and ideas are harder than others to try this way - but it's a big starting point.

Posted
7 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think as an important thing - everyone was new once.

And yeah, I get the idea of thinking you know what you want/like but also not wanting to trouble someone if you find you don't like it and it's something they're into

I did a lot of early experimenting where I could in local fetish circles - making friends via munches/events/workshops - this often meant I could try something with someone and it was no skin if one or the other of us didn't like it.

Obviously some fetishes and ideas are harder than others to try this way - but it's a big starting point.

Thanks for the feedback. I guess everyone starts somewhere. I just experience a lot of anxiety in new spaces, and wasn’t sure if there was a place for me and my somewhat vanilla taste. Especially coming from a Christian cult, haha.

Posted

It’s understandable to have anxiety about it. Just take it slow at first. Also, it could help if you separate the two. Kink doesn’t have to include sex so if you’re feeling added pressure with that component you could just explore one side or the other first. 

 

Then it’s just a matter of finding someone you feel comfortable with and trust. Let your chosen partner know what you’re feeling... communicate, communicate, communicate. And remember, it’s your right to say “no” if you’re trying something out and it’s not working for you. If you can be strong enough to do that... go forth, be safe, and have fun! As @eyemblacksheep mentioned everyone has to start somewhere! 


Good Luck!

Jinx

Posted

I dont think there are many people that can not relate what you are going through.

I would suggest that you read and research on what you like and dislike. Of course experience is more valuable than reading but knowledge helps. If you are comfortable with it, I would suggest finding a partner to help you out. 

Posted

Just clarifying....you've had sex, just missionary church sex that was unappealing? I would start with a bdsm checklist (old but still floating around the net) & check off what you've done. What sounds interesting & what after reading Google, makes your skin crawl. You have now established hard limits ( the ick stuff ) & what you have some interest in. Go from there. 

Google your city and munch. This is a street clothes on casual  cocktail party of dirty minded folk. Way to meet locals. Between that & your list you have a general direction to grow from. 

Oh & every dick swinger that calls themself dom doesnt get to boss you around. Until you agree to a relationship, you own no one anything sexual 

Posted

Its great for some people. Who are cool. And beautiful with great bodies.  

I cant manage post a photo. 

Whatever way i take it. Whatever angle.  I judt dont have the physique!

 

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