i am confused, please help

[levnwtn]

i am new to this game and ive been seeing this girl, yesterday she asked me to be her slave. i kinda feel like i want it. but, the first time i try, she said something that scares me, like i would lose my identity for real. it feels like the boundaries are not set, like i am still her plaything out of bed and i dont like that. my question for slave, how do you feel after you join this? how much your mistress change your life and space in your head? how you handle your life and this game? i have a very busy life day and night and i need to keep my space on my head. i am worry that this will disturb my life more than it should be

[PL****]

As a S you must communicate clearly your boundaries. If she cannot abide by them, then consider whether it is worth a continuation of a relationship with her.

[Lo****]

Yea better to be upfront and honest, communication is always key

[RFX]

Probably it could affect your normal life and daily routines…
Just discuss this in the first place!
☝️

[Deleted Member]

Yes. I agree. Communication is always key. As a D i always have a lengthy discussion of what the S wants out of the relationship.
The S i have now was mistreated harshly. So I let her set the pace. But that would be impossible if I wasn't open to listen to my S.

[fa****]

I DMed you. Stay safe. 🙏🏻❤️

[fa****]

27 minutes ago, PLEASEandTEASEme said:

As a S you must communicate clearly your boundaries. If she cannot abide by them, then consider whether it is worth a continuation of a relationship with her.

Forget “consider”. If she doesn’t respect your boundaries, she’s an ***r and you need to get the hell out of that relationship ASAP.

[Ki****]

I think you kind of sum it up yourself, first of all consent then boundaries.
You do not have to be a 24/7 sub you have your yes and nos and they imoorntant, then there's all them grey areas which is a maybe and lastly the yesses.
Long story short consent and communication, specially if you a beginner.

[pe****]

Power dynamics are hot but submission is a choice so if they can't respect you then why would you continue a relationship

[kinkymasterandrew]

If she isn't listening now, it will only get worse later. Having boundaries like safe words and schedules is good and healthy. You have a right to be heard and cared about.

[Br****]

It’s early doors for you in this dynamic and my gut is screaming “too soon.” As the sub, you actually have all the power and that includes saying no to anything. If you think this is a dynamic you would like to pursue, call a timeout, set explicit limits, boundaries, check-ins and protocols that allow you to slowly explore rather than ploughing into something that might not be right for you, and, speaking as a psychologist in training, cause genuine long term harm. Play well, have fun, be safe x

[To****]

It's meant to be entirely consensual, otherwise it's just abusive. You need to set boundaries and rules early on. There is a massive spectrum, and getting to full, 24/7 submission is not something you start with. It's definitely safest to start with 'only in the bedroom ', and build from that, provided you both want that.
It's very easy for people to want to fulfil all their fantasies at once but slow it down. Trust is the key to the whole thing, and if you are unsure then they obviously haven't earnt you trust yet.

[Rh****]

Mine is more of a mommy dom but she always has my best interest in mind. She encourages me to speak up when I need a break or if things become uncomfortable in any way. She even throws out random things to see if I will speak up and have a boundary. When I do, I get a “good boy”. She also makes sure I get to the gym, eat meals, do my classwork, and get plenty of sleep. There is more to being a dom than being bossy. Done the correct way you will be happily 100% devoted.

[La****]

Major red flag. Talk it out. BDSM is a safe heaven for ***rs. Set your boundaries and know what you want and not want. Communicate your limit—always! If someone violate that, then get the fuck outta that situation. Dominants could be ruthless, controlling and even ‘mean’. But before allat, they need to be a worthy leader and protector first. Do they lead and create the scene safely? Do they protect your headspace and make sure you feel safe and comfortable? If not, youre dealing with an ***r. Not a dom.

[Re****]

First of All- This is NOT a GAME! This is a Lifestyle and Yes, if she is a true Mistress she will take over your Life! You won’t have your own brain. Your Mistress will Control your Life, However, every Mistress and Master is Different! You Need to set your Boundaries before entering this Lifestyle! My Master Basically Controls everything I do! He knows where I am at all times! He also knows what I am doing everyday! The only time I am relying on my own is at work. You can keep your lifestyle separate but it’s very difficult. Every thing depends on your Mistress and what she demands of you! Please confront your Mistress and set up boundaries before you enter this lifestyle.

[ja****]

1 hour ago, BratWorst said:

It’s early doors for you in this dynamic and my gut is screaming “too soon.” As the sub, you actually have all the power and that includes saying no to anything. If you think this is a dynamic you would like to pursue, call a timeout, set explicit limits, boundaries, check-ins and protocols that allow you to slowly explore rather than ploughing into something that might not be right for you, and, speaking as a psychologist in training, cause genuine long term harm. Play well, have fun, be safe x

Why it’s always happening to the freshest kinksters? They ended up traumatized and hating all of it

[ja****]

Play her with her own game, set a contract for short period of time, detailed fully specific when and how and what authority she will have over you, what are the requirements from both ends and what rights you have what rights she have what are the responsibilities from both sides, make it shorter don’t go for a year, keep it a month and maybe less if it’s possible.. then time out, then reflect on it then see where are you.. bonding her authority with a contract will keep you somehow safer and if she’s real! She will honor that contract if she’s not. She will *** it at first sight.. then you know.. it’s a wonderful world but you have to know that we are dancing on the edge it’s much easier to slip. Good luck

[Mi****]

Did you agree to it in the moment because you were excited? It sounds like a lack of communication if boundaries were not set before you agreed, and limits have not been talked about, so you've essentially gave her free reign to take over completely. You first need to communicate your boundaries and limits before you go any further, and if she can't understand your boundaries or limits, then she is not the Mistress for you. Your boundaries and limits should have been the first thing you talked about with her before you agreed to anything.

[ja****]

6 minutes ago, MistressAman said:

Did you agree to it in the moment because you were excited? It sounds like a lack of communication if boundaries were not set before you agreed, and limits have not been talked about, so you've essentially gave her free reign to take over completely. You first need to communicate your boundaries and limits before you go any further, and if she can't understand your boundaries or limits, then she is not the Mistress for you. Your boundaries and limits should have been the first thing you talked about with her before you agreed to anything.

I sense that both of them got too excited too quickly, even she sounds “excited “ there is no mistress or dom would ask a sub to be his slave in a moment of heat.. there is vetting there is anticipation and above all there is wondering and hesitation .. so too much excitement from both sides, too much kinks fantasies, she went for it.. that’s my opinion

[Gulfcoastdays]

Ok, I would suggest at this point on, each time you talk to someone, anyone about being their slave , you follow it to the pint of inception. I guess what I mean is almost control the entire process of choosing her as your mistress generally will ALWAYS END UP WITH THE SAME THING ON HERE FIR THE PERON WHO ASKS TIU IN THEIR FIRST IR SECKND SENTENCE TO YOU WHETHER IR NOT YOU WANT TO BE THEIR SLAVE. I mean who knows that after two sentences right? I don’t care who you are, you have physical attraction, especially on line. If someone asks you this right of the bat, and you will see it over and over and over until it becomes Truette and cliche, just know for the Bentley are fakes and scammers. Normally as you were to make it to the end of the conversation, you’ll get they PayPal or cashapp address, and they will tell you to send tribute, and more times than none, after a few things here or there and the hook is set, you’ll drop the big bills and their profile will be deleted. Every man online, who has put himself in that position, has been cheated and scammed. Sure you’ll get an hour worth of chatter wher telling you you’ll be her forstiol, she will ride your face , prostate finish you off….burnt all loses it’s unofficial when you send her *** and more times that not HEYHEN LEAVES WITH RHE *** HE GOT FROM TOU. The pictures you took of yourself with a few plugs in your ass, a sign that you are holding up that say I love goddess Nikki or something and another that says I am a sissy faggot who loves ducking big BBC. Gos forbid you show your face because then th black mail cones….or the facial recognize you and shove that shit, or threatens to to your wife, kids, boss and anyone else on rote Facebook or instagram. Do yourself a favor. Tell them former behiimknf you Tate in person only, and no *** exchanges hands until you get to smell her beautiful asshol closing in over your nose at her sunburn or a hotel. As any read mistresss or doninateix. They will never ask you for *** ever until they see you in person. Or it’s an arrangement one beginning online and she speaks with you face to face, ear to ear on live conversation. Some will send prerecorded shot of them talking to you. Who does that? Barack Obama….i mean fakes and impersonators do that. The biggest thing about the slave game is being a sun slave type and immediately believing that you are part of a small group and everyone watches out….no way dide. They want your *** than they plaster your face on the internet with a note and sucking. Cock and dressed in your wife’s parties with a Sandi k drop in you and at least 2590!with if black mail. Sonia are if she offers drjisnsjit dirk the beginning g.fake Iran’s. Here is one thing people don’t know until you are a switch. Subs are the alpha. In reality yes they choose you….burn you have to choose them . You’ll find more times than none. The sub I who is sought after and the son never has any control until it is given to them Yhey can’t take it, that’s against code and the law. So if you can tell they are fake and you’ll learn, play them….get your rocks off on goading them into talking a bit. Just know 7/10 times it’s a dude and you feel stupid specially holding your butthole open on cam. Asking as your fave wasn’t in to….whew. How much if this has happened to…well no dildo and not butthole spreading. Everything else, oh yes and it’s embarrassing as such when all your pictures drop. But, drop only big sick pics. I always got them to stop that shit a long time ago because I have a sizable dick. I’d say ahead fuckfave fat Nigerian man, collecting dicknoics like a faggot…send away.,,,,I’ll probably end up fucking 6-7 of my wife’s friends and work relations out of Theon.turnout around on them .

Thigh j know I just went into rabbit hole. But in reality when you deal with this they already have you in one, with your dick out, telling them shit you don’t even talk about with yourself…..and here come either the ghost or the blackmail….hellecious

[Gulfcoastdays]

6 minutes ago, Gulfcoastdays said:

Ok, I would suggest at this point on, each time you talk to someone, anyone about being their slave , you follow it to the pint of inception. I guess what I mean is almost control the entire process of choosing her as your mistress generally will ALWAYS END UP WITH THE SAME THING ON HERE FIR THE PERON WHO ASKS TIU IN THEIR FIRST IR SECKND SENTENCE TO YOU WHETHER IR NOT YOU WANT TO BE THEIR SLAVE. I mean who knows that after two sentences right? I don’t care who you are, you have physical attraction, especially on line. If someone asks you this right of the bat, and you will see it over and over and over until it becomes Truette and cliche, just know for the Bentley are fakes and scammers. Normally as you were to make it to the end of the conversation, you’ll get they PayPal or cashapp address, and they will tell you to send tribute, and more times than none, after a few things here or there and the hook is set, you’ll drop the big bills and their profile will be deleted. Every man online, who has put himself in that position, has been cheated and scammed. Sure you’ll get an hour worth of chatter wher telling you you’ll be her forstiol, she will ride your face , prostate finish you off….burnt all loses it’s unofficial when you send her *** and more times that not HEYHEN LEAVES WITH RHE *** HE GOT FROM TOU. The pictures you took of yourself with a few plugs in your ass, a sign that you are holding up that say I love goddess Nikki or something and another that says I am a sissy faggot who loves ducking big BBC. Gos forbid you show your face because then th black mail cones….or the facial recognize you and shove that shit, or threatens to to your wife, kids, boss and anyone else on rote Facebook or instagram. Do yourself a favor. Tell them former behiimknf you Tate in person only, and no *** exchanges hands until you get to smell her beautiful asshol closing in over your nose at her sunburn or a hotel. As any read mistresss or doninateix. They will never ask you for *** ever until they see you in person. Or it’s an arrangement one beginning online and she speaks with you face to face, ear to ear on live conversation. Some will send prerecorded shot of them talking to you. Who does that? Barack Obama….i mean fakes and impersonators do that. The biggest thing about the slave game is being a sun slave type and immediately believing that you are part of a small group and everyone watches out….no way dide. They want your *** than they plaster your face on the internet with a note and sucking. Cock and dressed in your wife’s parties with a Sandi k drop in you and at least 2590!with if black mail. Sonia are if she offers drjisnsjit dirk the beginning g.fake Iran’s. Here is one thing people don’t know until you are a switch. Subs are the alpha. In reality yes they choose you….burn you have to choose them . You’ll find more times than none. The sub I who is sought after and the son never has any control until it is given to them Yhey can’t take it, that’s against code and the law. So if you can tell they are fake and you’ll learn, play them….get your rocks off on goading them into talking a bit. Just know 7/10 times it’s a dude and you feel stupid specially holding your butthole open on cam. Asking as your fave wasn’t in to….whew. How much if this has happened to…well no dildo and not butthole spreading. Everything else, oh yes and it’s embarrassing as such when all your pictures drop. But, drop only big sick pics. I always got them to stop that shit a long time ago because I have a sizable dick. I’d say ahead fuckfave fat Nigerian man, collecting dicknoics like a faggot…send away.,,,,I’ll probably end up fucking 6-7 of my wife’s friends and work relations out of Theon.turnout around on them .

Thigh j know I just went into rabbit hole. But in reality when you deal with this they already have you in one, with your dick out, telling them shit you don’t even talk about with yourself…..and here come either the ghost or the blackmail….hellecious

Mom and dad don’t hire a proofreader. Basically watch yourself . There read dom and sub relations other there is nothing wrong with profit or fin domesz. It’s their duty to tell you that off the bat. If not they are at least dishonest and nothing dishonest is withbebtering. Be careful

[Mi****]

3 hours ago, jaykkolins said:

I sense that both of them got too excited too quickly, even she sounds “excited “ there is no mistress or dom would ask a sub to be his slave in a moment of heat.. there is vetting there is anticipation and above all there is wondering and hesitation .. so too much excitement from both sides, too much kinks fantasies, she went for it.. that’s my opinion

He is new to the Lifestyle or maybe both are. If she is not new to the Lifestyle then she is taking advantage of him being new to it. There is the Power dynamic and if that's what she is wanting she should have talk in depth with him about it so he could decide if that's what he wants or so he could set boundaries. Either way both lacked at communicating their needs, wants, boundaries, hard and soft limits. If she is not new to Lifestyle then her actions are why some sub men end up more damaged and less trusting of real Dommes/Mistresses!

[Gulfcoastdays]

I understands exactly. You said it better than me. I have been attempted to be taken For several rides. I ask for a cam 2cam or a live phone cal to vet on my end . I DK t know exactly what I have done wrong or if I have searched (passively ) in the wrong places. But I have gotten many bad seeds.

[Da****]

First off from what I am reading is this. You said " I kinda feel" , that tells me right off you have doubts. To me that ends the discussion. The second thing you said is that you said" she said something that scares me", that tells me there is no trust. This is this "no boundaries are set", that means communication is not happening, and consent has not been given. Fourth thing is if " your her plaything out of bed' , it might be predatory. If that's the case you need to break off this relationship now. There are way to many red flags for me. I am speaking from a Dom Master perspective. If you worried it is going to " disturb your life more than it should", them i would not pursue this. What people are forgetting is this is more than a lifestyle. It is a very serious commitment and a very big responsibility. Not only for the submissive/slave, but the Domme/ Mistress. You really need to express to her your ***s apprehension concerns as well as what you are wanting to get out of it. You should have a voice. If you don't advocate for yourself no one will.

[ja****]

51 minutes ago, MistressAman said:

He is new to the Lifestyle or maybe both are. If she is not new to the Lifestyle then she is taking advantage of him being new to it. There is the Power dynamic and if that's what she is wanting she should have talk in depth with him about it so he could decide if that's what he wants or so he could set boundaries. Either way both lacked at communicating their needs, wants, boundaries, hard and soft limits. If she is not new to Lifestyle then her actions are why some sub men end up more damaged and less trusting of real Dommes/Mistresses!

I highly doubt that she is new, a part of the being a dominant/mistress ritual is the eagerness of a sub to fall for his mistress she actually wants him to say the word, and depends on how the dynamic is she might tease, play along, show him the good the bad and the ugly, but in this case he was seeing her for a month, so she is real not online, and probably she is enthusiastic as much as he/she I don’t want to assume.. but the word came too soon” it’s kind of “i love you” situation
Unless there is hiding circumstances that we don’t know of