I'm unsure

[pr****]

I've always had an intensity challenge, for 30 years very few people have a postive reaction to me being with in ten feet of them, some having feral aggression at me just saying hi. I'm not rude, or unclean but I will admit I make snap on the spot in person judgments about everyone with in about 1 min I've already either accepted or rejected you for futhar sexual interest. Am I an issue or is this something halfway normal?

[he****]

Kinda normal

[he****]

Better to be forward

[Gi****]

This doesn't feel like enough information. Once you make that's judgement how does your behavior change?

[se****]

Everyone makes judgements upon meeting someone, but let's back up to how you said "very few people have a positive reaction to you being with in ten feet of them". I know people who absolutely smell offensive, and they still have friends and people are kind to them and want to be around them. What is about you that is so cringe? Im curious 👀 🤔

[al****]

Well from what you said you are self aware that you do this so it’s somewhat your issue. But that being said, how others perceive you is on them. If you aren’t being blatantly rude then it’s their problem. But I do know that people that make snap judgments do tend to send out a virtual *** field saying to back off. My mom is that way. Every event she goes to she ends of sitting alone. When you see her she is sitting at a table, arms crossed with a perpetual look of disdain on her face. Then she wonders why no one talks to her or joins her. Vicious circle,
Perhaps try faking your attitude and judgement of others. Where you instantly feel, “Eww, No!”, maybe pretend that person is great. Maybe you’ll fool your brain into believing you are more open and thereby giving others more of a chance to actually get to know you? Is it a *** of rejection that has you rejecting everyone before you even give it a chance?
If you are fine with the way you are perceived then don’t worry about it. Just live your life doing what makes you happy.

[Da****]

I don't think it is a you issue. I think it is a them issue. No matter how polite you try to be about giving someone a rejection, they will be butt hurt. I think it might be an ego issue with them. In this lifestyle egos need to be checked at the door. Being a Dom is not about ego, it is about respect, and trust. You can be a Dom and keep your ego in check. I found many doms that let their egos get in the way of being Dom. I think that might be what you are experiencing when you come into contact with someone. It is their ego you are picking up on. Their ego radiates off them like a very strong stench. It can even make people very sick. People with egos are also a danger to the community. Their ego makes them self entitled. They feel that nothing can touch them. I have seen this at several events. It just ruins the whole event when someone's ego gets in the way. I do hope this has helped

[Deleted Member]

Context matter in this situation. Could be from a past emotional trauma which triggers the ptsd like response to "hi". Could be social stress. Does your demeanor changes if you accept the person?

[Ja****]

Definitely an issue

[Ja****]

That's definitely what's weirding people out. Even if they don't consciously know that you're mentally sizing them up like sex toys, their intuition and subconscious know and feel the subconscious will try to push them away from you. It's a defense mechanism. It also has many other factors as well, like your physical appearance, your energy, the way people perceive you, how you talk, your posture, etc. My best recommendation would be to control your mind and stop mentally f**king people right when you meet them, it creeps people out and will make you feel unsafe for them to be around.

[Deleted Member]

I agree with what some are saying that you would be shared anymore but idk 🤷‍♂️

[Ja****]

You need to realize that it’s not all about sex and if it is then you need to learn more about yourself and why that is. A split decision in judgement can be the difference between happiness or a disappointing outcome

[po****]

Hell don't get me lying to you, demographically speaking; seems like the fat part of the bell curve has the self awareness of a goldfish. If your presence elicits a reaction where folks lift their face from their phone, you're doing something right.

Think it was Dr Seuss that said, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"

So if you're getting bad reactions, self maximize a bit and read up on philosophy. Hope you'll grow into an above room temp IQ and you'll get it. I'm rooting for you

[yi****]

Honest opinion, if you lack the ability of self awareness, therapy might help you. (Personally I think therapy is useless for most people).

[ca****]

On the basis that everything is an issue to some degree ... then yes , possibly and maybe (which could have been an Oasis album!!!)

But more to the point, I feel on the basis that you ask the question maybe it is something to you..... ask yourself that question and see if / how you want to answer it.

In life it may well be an issue with some people and not with others.... hey ho   Keep well.

 

 

[pr****]

I appreciate everyone's thoughts on this, I believe my personal issue lies between I like having this presence, but it can be lonely.

[pr****]

Times its great to me some who takes an immediate dislike to but with in a few hours is hate f*cking you.

[pr****]

Its the kind of presence that almost always ends in hate f*cking

[pr****]

Also the reason its become an issues again after 20 years of marriage is because we would like to get back and have fun again but we don't want the hate f*ck side of me but its been twenty years and everyone is so, mock open imo.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, prairie-center42987 said:

Times its great to me some who takes an immediate dislike to but with in a few hours is hate f*cking you.

TLC usually do it @

[Au****]

2 hours ago, prairie-center42987 said:

Also the reason its become an issues again after 20 years of marriage is because we would like to get back and have fun again but we don't want the hate f*ck side of me but its been twenty years and everyone is so, mock open imo.

Most people recognize when they’re being objectified. Most people don’t like it. Consider this: Everyone has an inherent worth, and it’s NOT tied to your sexual interest, or lack thereof. If you can truly embrace that idea, perhaps you’ll be more widely accepted and make a better impression on the people you ARE attracted to. 20 years older, you will find a lot fewer hatef*cks than when you were young.

[Do****]

I'd say they're feeling what you're putting out and matching it. Most of the people you've decide you wouldn't be with probably feel the same. Most of the time sexual attraction is a mutual exchange of pheromones and other chemicals our bodies release. You should try not judging others so harshly and allow things to happen naturally, they'd like you a lot more and you might even find the perfect sexual partner.

[pr****]

You might be right because what I put out most people can't handle, in example. I say men and women are not equal but are built to compliment each other in a traditional setting. I grew up around true feminists and what most young women claiming to be feminists now are not.

[pr****]

12 hours ago, Dottie2Hottie said:

I'd say they're feeling what you're putting out and matching it. Most of the people you've decide you wouldn't be with probably feel the same. Most of the time sexual attraction is a mutual exchange of pheromones and other chemicals our bodies release. You should try not judging others so harshly and allow things to happen naturally, they'd like you a lot more and you might even find the perfect sexual partner.

IMHO I do have a perfect partner for me my wife. This isn't the issue, my wife who I met 22 years ago has only been bi curious until recently we never really pursued it. Like I said I was in the life 20+ years ago she wasn't. I have encouraged her to go out and flirt with other women. She wants me there, so I don't even know if I really have the same problem anymore or if I'm too blunt with my lived life experiences of what matters and what is just stupid noise. I will always try to get my wife what she wants but I'll protect her too and I've been looking through profile after profile on all apps and I can't understand how so many in the community have forgotten that we are all freaks but so many are unwilling to even talk(I'm trying to find a diplomatic way to say something that will upset alot of people, everything i try ends up sounding like a bad euphemism so bluntly How has the community gone from the people I would protect to hateful assholes?

[StormyBlueEyes]

Interesting problem. I agree with Dottie2Hottie.
It’s great that your trying to get your wife what she wants but guys are responded to at a much lower rate then girls. You may have much better luck if your partner comes on here and complements another girl.?