Submissives are people too

[Deleted Member]

"Submissives are real too"

 

Right then so yet again seeing posts from mainly but not always submissives being verbally ***d by dickhead blokes who think they are ten men behind a screen. It boils my *** and any who may be reading this who are guilty of this offence you are far from "Dom" as you claim to be. Your nothing but a wannabe lowlife bully who if faced up in the real world I have no doubts would scuttle away back under your rock where you belong. Men like you only have big mouths behind screens and I've seen it time and time again since the internet revolution.

 

Dom is not ***

Dom is not spite when rejected

Dom is not key board warrior

Dom is not thinking submissives will call you Sir/Daddy just because they are lucky enough to receive a message from your lowlife, pussy weak ass. 

 

Dom is Kindness especially to strangers

Dom is accepting you may not be for every one, being a man and moving on while wishing the sub all the best in her search.

Dom is being able to have a conversation without any expectations, this so how we make friends. You never know that friendship could then open doors but your too fucking stupid to see that.

Dom is respect for others especially for women

Dom is being a  decent human being, not a child who reacts with spite because your self perceived attitude of greatness is not seen by others. You may think you're  the bees knees but you go around giving grief to others you're actually anything but. You're a prick and yes this is a direct challenge to those who think "Dom" or how your perceive "Dom" to be gives you a right to talk how you want to whom you want. 

 

You need to earn those things and just because a lass may be on a site like this I can assure you it DOES NOT make them easy, if you think otherwise you really are a complete moron and deserve your life of pornhub and masturbation. Its fucking pathetic so sort your shit.

 

I'm seeing it all the time and some of those I count as friends are getting upset which upsets me so once again I will lay it out for you as you seem unable to accept you are far from "God's gift" to women.

 

If a girl says no it means no, end of.

If you message and can see it has been read but with no reply that means she IS NOT INTERESTED.

If there is no reply there is no need to go bleating on here wall "hey baby, why have you not replied?" Shes not replied because shes NOT INTERESTED.

If you message for a while and she backs away it means she's had in her mind, a better offer or she is just no longer interested.

I have been rejected, I have talked for weeks and then been rejected. It happens, it's part of life and it gives you NO RIGHT to then be spiteful and nasty. Be a man as you claim to be and suck it the fuck up.

No it's not nice but that's what dating sites are, rejection time after time until one day something happens. Good lasses I see now are getting upset, do you not have empathy for them, when you call them "fat cunts" or "ugly bitches"???? Who the fuck are you to talk to decent human beings like this? What makes you qualified to spout your spite just because your fragile male ego has taken a knock? You call yourself a Dom, you're as far from that as it's possible to be.

 

How would you feel it it were your Mum, your *** receiving *** like that? Do you not understand the power of words, what that can do to another? Maybe she's struggles in a morning to get out of bed,  maybe she feels a little sad and a site like this is the only place she feels she can breath, be what she is. Maybe your words crush the fight out of her,  ruin any sunshine she may have felt for that day. Send her to bed miserable, isolated and alone. What is wrong with you? Do you net see the *** your weakness can cause for others? These are real people you message, with feelings, who do not deserve your spite. In your words all you do is reveal what you really are.

 

 

[Sl****]

I agree to this post entirely!!!!

[Deleted Member]

Luv this

[Deleted Member]

Well said but such a shame it needs saying......

[Deleted Member]

🙁 When I read this, I know that someone else has received the kinds of messages that I have. It makes my heart sink. There is so much positive on Fetish. And so many wonderful people. And yet there are people feeling as Donny describes because of careless, spiteful, ignorant comments. It shouldn’t be necessary to write this, Donny. It shouldn’t be necessary for conversations about rude messages to span weeks. I don’t know the solution. Thanks for speaking up. 🙌🏻

[Deleted Member]

On 7/25/2020 at 3:26 PM, Curvykate said:

🙁 . I don’t know the solution. Thanks for speaking up. 🙌🏻

I'm not sure there is a solution, I think a lot of this comes from vanilla society, we are generally treating each other worse there too so attitudes across the board are changing. It going to be amplified here from the miconseptions some carry of how certain self appointed titles give them a free pass to forget the most basic of manners and common decency. 

[PixieDust]

"Applauds" again,  thank you for writing this @Donnykinkster 🙏💗 

Rejection is part of life no matter who we are.  You either deal with it or make yourself look foolish if you don't.

I feel you can tell a lot about a person by their choice of words and how they treat you from that very first message particularly messages from so called "Doms".  Would I wish to kneel before someone who chose to speak to me so woefully from the get go, unless it was agreed to,  not on your dam Nelly !!!

Would I want to chat to someone who has stalked me around the forum, leaving snide remarks here and there for me to see or has hit up my comment wall time and time again, most definitely not.  It is  like a big neon sign flashing for the dangers to come.  If they don't take a No for answer now, what hope is there of  them accepting it any other time.  This would ultimately put me in danger by choosing to overlook something so vital. 

I do feel sorry for these members who feel they need to be rude, arrogant and spiteful to so many submissives for their own self gratification.  To me these so called "Doms" don't respect themselves let alone anyone else  and if you don't respect yourself how can you possibly expect someone else to have the same respect for you.  

Apart from respect, self entitlement is another huge issue for these so called "Doms".  Until people including these types of "Doms" in particular start to understand they are not entitled to anything,  nothing is going to change.  Part of that I believe is today's society,  the art of 'hard" work to achieve one's goals has been lost.  I believe until attitudes and expectations change we are sadly going to be dealing with these issues time and time again.  

For me. I always to try to remain optimistic that people will change and will improve for the better but sometimes it needs the voice of many to show the way and to make it happen. Can we be those voices?  I really hope so. 

[Mo****]

Donnykinkster, mate I agree with every word you wrote and every emotion behind those words.  It so ***es me off that people show no respect or manners, and that they then become vindictive when they don't get the outcome they wanted.

To me these so called 'doms' are nothing but Rogues/Sharks hunting or trolling to find fresh meat and satisfy their own urges, or they are Pretenders who have no real fucking idea of what BDSM and the dynamics within are all about.  There are so many different aspects/kinks in this life, under the banner of BDSM, but not everyone shares the same kinks, so if these fuckers think that denigrating is something that all submissives/slaves like then they are sadly mistaken, and they shouldn't have to be exposed to it.  What happens inside a relationship once the dynamic is agreed is totally different to meeting new people.

These same arsewipes need to understand that BDSM does not revolve around kinky sex.  Yes there may be some kinky sex, but there may also be NO sex.  True BDSM is more than that, so to me, these so called dominants are more idiots than dominants.  They are ignorant and arrogant and think they are right.  Well hopefully some of them will read these posts and have a change of mind, and adjust their attitudes.

[Deleted Member]

I can not like this enough!
Very well said, and thank you.
Thankfully I do not get many of these messages any more, but before I met my Sir I did and honestly, every word you say is true

[Deleted Member]

This is what I have wanted to say so many times.

[Deleted Member]

I love this! I haven’t experienced much *** on this site but I’ve had some horrific things said to me on normal dating sites by guys who described themselves as Doms. I think the guy who told me he was fantasising about breaking into my house to me and I’d love it because I’m “a filthy fucking whore” was the point I cancelled my subscription and gave up on my hopes of finding anyone decent who understood what I wanted (still maybe I’ll find someone here, who knows😊)

[Carnelian2]

Unfortunately, these uneducated, ill-mannered people are not confined to sites like this, let alone the internet. You do meet them in real life too.

The only way to deal with them is to reject them and not even provide a response. Silence, and then do whatever you do to reach some measure of calm in the knowledge that it is in fact not you, they are angry with, but their own shortcomings as human beings

[De****]

Well stated once again, these idiots think they are above you and calling them self Dom gives them all sorts of rights, the only right it gets them is a swift kick in the bollocks and a smile as you watch them fall and walk away

[Deleted Member]

I think most of those "Doms" were watching too much 50 shades, and think that every woman will be head-over-heels for them, like Ana for Grey.

[Jinxy-5083]

12 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

boils my ***

Man, the Brits have the best and weirdest phrases 😂

 

But on the topic of this post, I agree completely. As others have stated, this shouldn’t even need to be a conversation as people should treat people with respect by default. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case and it’s been exacerbated by the internet age and the era of the quick and easy. Things worth having are worth the effort and time to gain them. 

 

Additionally, I think there should be a rejection test as I truly think how someone handles being rejected tells you a lot about a person. For example, I had one guy, on a different site, who I had spoke to once. It was a great chat and I thought we got along well and would have been more than willing to chat again based on how it went but no promises were made. He saw me on the following day, messaged me, but due to site issues I wasn’t able to respond. He proceeded to spam me with at least 10-15 messages in a 30 minute period each getting progressively more hostile. Huge turn off and completely ruined any chance he had. If this guy had just waited, I would have explained what happened. As it is, I ended up blocking him since he wouldn’t leave me alone. Just because people have a conversation doesn’t mean they owe each other anything. I believe it was @PixieDust who mentioned entitlement. It’s a thing and it shouldn’t be. 

[JustMe639]

This!! Every word of this is spot on and should be mandatory reading for anyone who checks the "dom" box on here. First messages should not be along the lines of "be my pussy slave" (actual message I've gotten twice).
p.s. your accent bled through that post and hope it's appropriate to say was...hot.

[Deleted Member]

16 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

I'm not sure there is a solution, I think a lot of this comes from vanilla society, we are generally treating each other worse there too so attitudes across the board are changing. It going to be amplified here from the miconseptions some carry of how certain self appointed titles give them a free pass to forget the most basic of manners and common decency. 

True. I’ve come across equally entitled men on vanilla dating sites. Although in truth I’ve been ghosted more often. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Carnelian2]

11 hours ago, SidoraxVonCreep said:

I think most of those "Doms" were watching too much 50 shades, and think that every woman will be head-over-heels for them, like Ana for Grey.

I avoided that one, and recommended "Eleven Minutes" by Paolo Coelho as an alternative. His book is around 20 years old and brilliant.

Someone sent a friend of mine an "erotic" story, which she then shared with me. My reaction was that it was definitely more vanilla than BDSM and more one-sided Male fantasy than anything. So, I shared back a short story written by another female friend to illustrate the exact opposite.

I suppose this means that the "fantasies" people share does show a lot about their mindset and should be a clear indication from the outset...

[Panga]

Excellent post and cannot be said often enough.

[Deleted Member]

15 hours ago, Kinky_kat said:

I love this! I haven’t experienced much *** on this site but I’ve had some horrific things said to me on normal dating sites by guys who described themselves as Doms. I think the guy who told me he was fantasising about breaking into my house to me and I’d love it because I’m “a filthy fucking whore” was the point I cancelled my subscription and gave up on my hopes of finding anyone decent who understood what I wanted (still maybe I’ll find someone here, who knows😊)

Wtf? 😠 Horrible man. There are decent kinky men, don’t give up!

[Deleted Member]

"Dom is not ***
Dom is not spite when rejected
Dom is not key board warrior
Dom is not thinking submissives will call you Sir/Daddy just because they are lucky enough to receive a message from your lowlife, pussy weak ass.
Dom is Kindness especially to strangers
Dom is accepting you may not be for every one, being a man and moving on while wishing the sub all the best in her search.
Dom is being able to have a conversation without any expectations, this so how we make friends."

The amount of abusive messages I have recieved because I have said I am not interested is unreal. So many wannabes making bad press for the genuine people in here.

[Deleted Member]

On 7/26/2020 at 5:49 AM, Kricket639 said:

p.s. your accent bled through that post and hope it's appropriate to say was...hot.

Its fine and made me smile, it's a Yorkshire accent and in the UK Yorkshire is the main county, second to none 😂

[Deleted Member]

On 7/26/2020 at 10:45 AM, Curvykate said:

Wtf? 😠 Horrible man. There are decent kinky men, don’t give up!

Yes there are, what worries me is good ***ps being pushed out by those who are "not so nice"

[Deleted Member]

On 7/26/2020 at 10:58 AM, MuffSparkle said:

The amount of abusive messages I have recieved because I have said I am not interested is unreal.

Its caught me by surprise how fragile the male ego actually is as basically that's what causes for me all these issues. Men who can't take rejection hence my straight language. Some only seem to get straight chat. Hope your well 😊

[Leisa]

Thank you for this post. It’s sad to me that this even needed to be posted in this day and age where submissives are more open and direct in what they are seeking in a Dominant. You’d think for the “Doms” out there that this would be a good thing. It allows these individuals insight into how the submissives are viewing the world and what is acceptable to them individually. I’ve had a couple of horrid experiences on here where I’ve been called everything but a lady and ultimately that’s exactly what I am at the core. It got so bad that I stopped opening messages and of the 200 unopened I haven’t a clue how many great people I’ve refused to acknowledge because of my first experiences back into this world after a vanilla break. There are specifically two who almost made me second guess my choices, one strictly in messages and the other a chat asshole who ended up being a liar and snake of the first order who thankfully showed his true colors fairly quickly. I’ve thankfully met a wonderful man who I call Sir proudly and without *** of disrespect or ***. It’s unfortunate that there are those who’s messages were never opened. Until I got to know you through the forum yours was one of them I did not open because I’d already determined I’d not meet anyone through messages alone and for that you have my deepest, humble apologies. I just wish that those who want to wear the honor of being called a Dominant realized that they’re giving many submissives a bad taste in their mouths and ruining it for many of those who have earned the title of being called Dom by kindness, gentlemanly behavior, and positivity.