Quick Question for Deep Exploration.

[HunchoTheGreat]

What does unconditional submission means to you and how do you envision your ideal balance between service and self care?

[Deleted Member]

There is never “unconditional submission” there always needs to be conditions in order to protect the sub’s well being. The conditions being limits and boundaries.

[li****]

As stated above, limits and conditions are necessary for the protection of the sub. To me real submission actually means 1) that he's not trying to dominate from the bottom, 2) that he understands the difference between sub and bottom and is not trying to pretend to be the first when he's actually the second, 3) that he's realistic about the acts of service (not sexual acts) that he can offer and stick to it, instead of refusing the moment something looks mildly inconvenient.

[Mi****]

All submission needs conditions agreed upon by both parties in advance. No exceptions.

[Fen]

"Unconditional submission" should be a very rare thing that only exists in extreme dynamics.

Hypothetically lets imagine I'm meeting a dominant who in their first message asked for "complete, unconditional submission" and I agreed. The dominant presents a large trunk, and orders me to get into it. They then lock the trunk, and throw it into a lake.

If I'm submitting unconditionally, that implies I'm consenting to whatever a dominant partner wants to do to me, including simply dispose of me. However the pool of submissives who would climb into the trunk with the knowledge of what's going to happen next is extremely small. Most people who practice informed and responsible kink follow either SSCK, safe sane consensual kink, or RACK, risk aware consensual kink. The former is flatly incompatible with unconditional submission, because only submitting to sane things is a condition. The latter requires that you don't ask for unconditional submission until the sub is aware of all the risks involved. And the risks of open ended submission include literally everything: death, dismemberment, financial ruin, legal consequences, etc.

I consider it a red flag when a dominant asks me for unconditional submission (especially early before I even know what their kinks are), or if a sub professes to have "no limits." It usually means the person hasn't seriously thought about what they're talking about. It is also a MASSIVE red flag for scamming. I've dealt with a lot of scammers posing as dommes, and every single one has been looking for a "loyal, honest submissive" willing to completely and totally submit. Because someone who submits totally is very easy to steal from, and most likely not considering the possibility that the person they're talking to looks nothing like the profile picture.

To be fair, this kind of total power exchange dynamic is right for some people. But that should be an evolution on an existing relationship with a lot of trust. The more normal it is in the community to start things off by discussing limits and expectations freely, the better things will be, and the harder it'll be for scammers to hide.

[sillysub]

Submitting unconditionally or without limits is never a good thing. That basically tells a Domme hey you can do whatever you want with me. I can guarantee that even those that claim to have no limits or will serve unconditionally will have some things they are hesitant about. That hesitancy is not to be ignored. That hesitancy keeps you safe and comfortable in your submission.  If you ignore that hesitancy, then that can be bad. No one has no limits. Everyone has a limit or condition of some sort and that's okay. It's normal to have things you say no to. If a Domme says hey you have to serve me unconditionally or you're not allowed to have limits, then you should run fast and far. 

[li****]

11 minutes ago, sillysub said:

Submitting unconditionally or without limits is never a good thing. That basically tells a Domme hey you can do whatever you want with me. I can guarantee that even those that claim to have no limits or will serve unconditionally will have some things they are hesitant about. That hesitancy is not to be ignored. That hesitancy keeps you safe and comfortable in your submission.  If you ignore that hesitancy, then that can be bad. No one has no limits. Everyone has a limit or condition of some sort and that's okay. It's normal to have things you say no to. If a Domme says hey you have to serve me unconditionally or you're not allowed to have limits, then you should run fast and far. 

I'm glad that people here are mentioning subs that claim to have no limits, cause when I see how many of them put that in their profiles it makes me wonder if they're ignorant about BDSM or just crazy.

[Axminster]

Not reached my limits as yet but sure they will be. Just hope no means no . A question of truth.

[ho****]

I feel as if a proper submissive should be willing and able to do what you want them to do and even if it
It's gnarly bdsm to light foreplay it should be done with a level of wanting to grant the others wishes whilst being fulfilled themselves.

[HunchoTheGreat]

4 hours ago, sillysub said:

Submitting unconditionally or without limits is never a good thing. That basically tells a Domme hey you can do whatever you want with me. I can guarantee that even those that claim to have no limits or will serve unconditionally will have some things they are hesitant about. That hesitancy is not to be ignored. That hesitancy keeps you safe and comfortable in your submission.  If you ignore that hesitancy, then that can be bad. No one has no limits. Everyone has a limit or condition of some sort and that's okay. It's normal to have things you say no to. If a Domme says hey you have to serve me unconditionally or you're not allowed to have limits, then you should run fast and far. 

Right!

[De****]

Monday at 07:18 PM, sillysub said:

Submitting unconditionally or without limits is never a good thing. That basically tells a Domme hey you can do whatever you want with me. I can guarantee that even those that claim to have no limits or will serve unconditionally will have some things they are hesitant about. That hesitancy is not to be ignored. That hesitancy keeps you safe and comfortable in your submission.  If you ignore that hesitancy, then that can be bad. No one has no limits. Everyone has a limit or condition of some sort and that's okay. It's normal to have things you say no to. If a Domme says hey you have to serve me unconditionally or you're not allowed to have limits, then you should run fast and far. 

While I was growing up most of the males around me were putting up with literal *** from women (my dad-he was a great dad and man but he put up with crap from women! He deserved way better) and every time without exception, I saw women always took advantage and ***d men that were that submissive. I decided nope not me! Hell no, I’m better than that. I get turned off as soon as I sense that abusive vibe

[De****]

Monday at 07:29 PM, liliththedivine said:

I'm glad that people here are mentioning subs that claim to have no limits, cause when I see how many of them put that in their profiles it makes me wonder if they're ignorant about BDSM or just crazy.

It feels “desperate” lol