Kinky Pro Tips

[purplepie]

What’s the one thing only experienced kinksters know? Drop your pro tips and help others level up their play. 😈

[typhoon2]

Ascertain what exactly people mean when they use certain words or phrases - not everyone uses the same definitions amd it's always better to be absolutely certain than to assume.

[Ka****]

How to stimulate a woman's A-spot, SP-spot, G-spot, and cervical opening

[Deleted Member]

Always be ready for a meet up to cancel or dissapear on you. It’s normal for people to get last minute nerves especially it’s their first experience.

[Ki****]

Communication

[theSir_ObservingU]

Go slow

[Macca1410]

Trust is everything

[Bu****]

If you’re doing things correctly, you can help your partner reach euphoria without laying a finger or tool on them. Gaining a deep understanding of how your partner’s mind works is the key to satisfying them beyond a sexual act.

[Ro****]

Consent consent consent

[My****]

Safeword encyclopedia!!!

[Deleted Member]

As a Dominant, it is your job to "check in" during scenes or every day interactions and know when to cut off play, or drag the person under your care into safety when they become too distressed or overstimulated and lose the ability to ask for a break.

You can be in the hottest moment but if they seem too far gone, do this: Grab their face and tell them to look you in the eyes, ask them if they are good to continue. Know when to give them a break, especially with brand new or exploring subs.

[bu****]

After care is a must.

Even for the Dom

[bu****]

Toy drop is absolutely a thing

[Cade]

Not everyone's lifestyle, dynamic, consent culture, risk acceptance, and safety awareness is the same, and just because theirs don't match yours doesn't make them wrong, bad, or dangerous. Your either.

[Br****]

After care is so damn important

[Da****]

Public over exposure is less sexy to those who intend to bond well enough to walk the holy grail of kinks. Be more selective and less ***tered.

[Deleted Member]

The inexperienced chase control by piling on more....more toys, more noise, more theatrics. They think intensity equals power. It doesn’t. Real dominance isn’t about adding. It’s about stripping away until all that’s left is precision, presence, and the undeniable weight of intention.

A submissive feels it immediately. They know when a hand is just touching and when a hand is claiming. They know when silence is hollow and when silence is so heavy it bends the air around them. They know when a command is just words and when a command leaves no room for question. Presence is the blade that cuts deeper than any toy ever could.

What experience teaches is this: hours of motion mean nothing if the energy isn’t anchored. You don’t need an arsenal or a stage. You need to own the space, hold the connection, and carry them past the point where time matters at all. That’s the difference between surface play and submission that lingers for days.

Presence is the rarest currency in this lifestyle... and the most expensive. Learn how to spend it wisely, and you’ll never need to prove your dominance with noise again.

[Sc****]

HYDRATE and STRETCH. You'll thank me later

[Cooperreds]

A D&S dynamic can easily become a deep romantic affair/relationship... people don't talk about the emotions attached to dominating or submission... this is very common 

[ey****]

first tip is to always avoid the folk who claim to know everything. They don't.

Next. Most advice is tailored to newbies. This often means it lacks nuance.  It also means people who know and regurgitate a lot of the newbie advice might overestimate what they know.  Some people know buzz phrases but can't explain them. 

You will learn a lot by reading online, and reading others perspectives.  You will learn even more getting out and meeting people at munches and events, likewise.

"One Twue Wayism" comes in many forms, know when to spot it.  What is right for one person isn't right for everyone

Take people who talk about the "back in my day" with a piece of salt, a lot of them rely on others from that era not being around to correct or dispute their stories.  Equally, even when it's correct it often lacks nuance and, if that's how things worked in 1995 it's all relevant if you're going to 1995. You're not.

A lot of people make mistakes, and "mistakes" is a broad church.  Taking accountability for mistakes goes a lot further than just expecting forgiveness cos "everyone makes mistakes" 

[da****]

26 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

first tip is to always avoid the folk who claim to know everything. They don't.

Next. Most advice is tailored to newbies. This often means it lacks nuance.  It also means people who know and regurgitate a lot of the newbie advice might overestimate what they know.  Some people know buzz phrases but can't explain them. 

You will learn a lot by reading online, and reading others perspectives.  You will learn even more getting out and meeting people at munches and events, likewise.

"One Twue Wayism" comes in many forms, know when to spot it.  What is right for one person isn't right for everyone

Take people who talk about the "back in my day" with a piece of salt, a lot of them rely on others from that era not being around to correct or dispute their stories.  Equally, even when it's correct it often lacks nuance and, if that's how things worked in 1995 it's all relevant if you're going to 1995. You're not.

A lot of people make mistakes, and "mistakes" is a broad church.  Taking accountability for mistakes goes a lot further than just expecting forgiveness cos "everyone makes mistakes" 

Great long. As a dom I learn from every new partner. There are a lot of nuances in kink.

[jj****]

I don’t know about experienced or just folks who google, but chalk can be useful lol

[Qu****]

1. Bdsm isn't inherently sexual.
2. Negotiate aftercare before play begins.
3. Always keep learning.
3b. Tops & bottoms both need education
4. Don't play with someone if they don't explain the risks.
5. Everyone has limits and it's ok.
6. Everyone is unique, don't expect what will work on one partner will work on another.

[Ti****]

Red is NEVER the goal!! Spicy yellow is !!!

[bi****]

Learning