Jump to content

Unwanted Sub messages to Male Doms?


Recommended Posts

I don't get msgs lol so I would love to know this
As a switch on the app who is and has been to Dom (I’m sadistic dom so after care is super important). Actually real Doms would never say such demeaning/disgusting right off the bat. Communication is so important starting out. Be very careful with the people you trust. There is no way to certificate being a dom. Please watch out for red flags and always stand by your boundaries. Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Haven’t gotten any inappropriate sub messages, but I did get some very “forward” messages from a dominant person and it made me uncomfortable. Like, first, where’s the connection? Then I google searched their profile picture, turns out they were using pics of a pr0n⭐️ as their pfp. Now blocked for 2 reasons.
Here’s the deal and I’m being honest. It feels like a No Win situation at times. You want to talk normal and build a connection. BUT then you don’t stand out. Seem boring. Next 😂 Also there are some Women who want to know protocols, etc right off the bat. Its a confusing mess.
Doesn't happen. I think that's inherent to the dynamic and male sex drives, 99% of the time we are initiating a conversation anyway

Begging me to kidnap her in her sleep and throw her in the forest to run away while im wearing a mask and chase her down to *** her until she cant walk anymore and then end it for her.

The unwanted things that I see are A) grown men pretending to be submissive women, and B) content creators looking for subscribers masquerading as women looking to date, and C) the standard "pig-butcher" scams. But I think the magnitude of it is much smaller where i am standing. Sewage doesnt run uphill as they say.
I don't remember the last time a sub messaged me/us first
Ya, the problem is entitlement. People feel entitled to your body. This toxic behavior is common. Insert any social problems here. Is it everything in our society have a price tag, we over value the individual and group. Many factors play into this behavior.
Some girls really like the narcissistic approach. I cant stand them tbh. I'll hear a guy come across like that and it turns my stomach
This your first time online or? Just curious.
I think this is an important discussion because D/s is built on mutual reverence, and when strangers bypass that, it feels violating... no matter which side you’re on.

From the Dom’s perspective: true Dominance is never careless. A Dom who understands his role doesn’t throw power around like a blunt weapon... he holds it with precision, with respect, with an awareness that every word carries weight. A Dom leads with presence, not with shock value.

From the sub’s perspective: true submission isn’t just a kink or a hobby it’s vulnerability, trust, a willingness to open one’s softest parts. That should be honored, not exploited. A sub’s surrender is something sacred, meant to be invited through safety and connection... not yanked out by a stranger’s demand.

When someone bypasses all of that barges into the inbox with explicit words or orders... they’re not showing Dom or sub energy. They’re performing. They’re chasing a kink high, trying to get a reaction, using the title of Dom or sub as a mask for entitlement.

For me, when that happens, it’s an instant red flag. My intuition kicks in, my discernment sharpens, and I choose to just observe. I don’t engage, I don’t take the bait... I watch, and what’s true about their energy always reveals itself quickly.

Because respect is the first step in D/s not the afterthought. And anyone who can’t start there doesn’t belong in my space.
I'm not male, but the most are rather disrespectful. Ergo... They don't read. Comprehension is Paramount.
I’ve personally only been approached a handful of times and always been very respectful..

I hate the entitlement a lot of ‘doms’ think they have and as someone else mentioned, it’s stomach turning a lot of the time.

If I ever reach out, it is always respectful and never sexual as it takes time for both sides to get there in my opinion 🤷‍♂️
sardonicus87
Not counting bots, like most men, I don't get messages ever on here, mostly because I don't allow messages from men.
.
That's literally the only messages I get on other sites where I can't choose to block messages from certain groups, is sissies and gay men trying to get me to do gay stuff on the DL.
.
Which I guess is inappropriate regardless of whether or not they're a "real sub" because it's in my hard limits and I make it very clear what I am and am not into, and that's definitely a hard no, yet they try anyway.
.
Though also, I am not a Dom, but figured I would answer because most people just seem to use "Dom" when they're really just meaning "top" (D/s-normative bs "community" that is BDSM).

It's rare.

But when I do.  Guess what? It's from male subs.

I get objectified for what I am out and about.And on the internet, I used to love it in the beginning.But not so much anymore.I want someone to appreciate who I am.Just not what I am.
I had one on a dateing site couple years ago start off chatting than after a while asked for *** said submission costs expected me to pay her to submit n would only submit for 200 bucks I laughed n blocked her
46 minutes ago, Adonis40210 said:
This your first time online or? Just curious.

Just because it's typical that does not mean we should just accept inappropriate messages constantly in our inboxes

As a male dom, the only inappropriate messages I’ve received on this ap have come from other male doms 😔
Nope I never get messaged first let alone anything inappropriate
Never get inappropriate as a male. Just doesn’t happen
×
×
  • Create New...