Unwanted Sub messages to Male Doms?

[Th****]

So as someone that identifies as a sub and a woman, I get A LOT of messages from Doms that are completely inappropriate to be said by a complete and utter stranger.

But I am curious if Male Doms get similar treatment by subs?

If you are a make dom, what are some of the most inappropriate DMs you have gotten from strangers claiming to be subs?

[ca****]

Like what 😮??

[On****]

I don't get msgs lol so I would love to know this

[ee****]

As a switch on the app who is and has been to Dom (I’m sadistic dom so after care is super important). Actually real Doms would never say such demeaning/disgusting right off the bat. Communication is so important starting out. Be very careful with the people you trust. There is no way to certificate being a dom. Please watch out for red flags and always stand by your boundaries. Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

[gh****]

Haven’t gotten any inappropriate sub messages, but I did get some very “forward” messages from a dominant person and it made me uncomfortable. Like, first, where’s the connection? Then I google searched their profile picture, turns out they were using pics of a pr0n⭐️ as their pfp. Now blocked for 2 reasons.

[De****]

Here’s the deal and I’m being honest. It feels like a No Win situation at times. You want to talk normal and build a connection. BUT then you don’t stand out. Seem boring. Next 😂 Also there are some Women who want to know protocols, etc right off the bat. Its a confusing mess.

[fa****]

Doesn't happen. I think that's inherent to the dynamic and male sex drives, 99% of the time we are initiating a conversation anyway

[Da****]

Begging me to kidnap her in her sleep and throw her in the forest to run away while im wearing a mask and chase her down to *** her until she cant walk anymore and then end it for her.

[Ni****]

Only from the fake profiles.

[Deleted Member]

The unwanted things that I see are A) grown men pretending to be submissive women, and B) content creators looking for subscribers masquerading as women looking to date, and C) the standard "pig-butcher" scams. But I think the magnitude of it is much smaller where i am standing. Sewage doesnt run uphill as they say.

[hi****]

I don't remember the last time a sub messaged me/us first

[po****]

Ya, the problem is entitlement. People feel entitled to your body. This toxic behavior is common. Insert any social problems here. Is it everything in our society have a price tag, we over value the individual and group. Many factors play into this behavior.

[Mu****]

Some girls really like the narcissistic approach. I cant stand them tbh. I'll hear a guy come across like that and it turns my stomach

[Ad****]

This your first time online or? Just curious.

[Deleted Member]

I think this is an important discussion because D/s is built on mutual reverence, and when strangers bypass that, it feels violating... no matter which side you’re on.

From the Dom’s perspective: true Dominance is never careless. A Dom who understands his role doesn’t throw power around like a blunt weapon... he holds it with precision, with respect, with an awareness that every word carries weight. A Dom leads with presence, not with shock value.

From the sub’s perspective: true submission isn’t just a kink or a hobby it’s vulnerability, trust, a willingness to open one’s softest parts. That should be honored, not exploited. A sub’s surrender is something sacred, meant to be invited through safety and connection... not yanked out by a stranger’s demand.

When someone bypasses all of that barges into the inbox with explicit words or orders... they’re not showing Dom or sub energy. They’re performing. They’re chasing a kink high, trying to get a reaction, using the title of Dom or sub as a mask for entitlement.

For me, when that happens, it’s an instant red flag. My intuition kicks in, my discernment sharpens, and I choose to just observe. I don’t engage, I don’t take the bait... I watch, and what’s true about their energy always reveals itself quickly.

Because respect is the first step in D/s not the afterthought. And anyone who can’t start there doesn’t belong in my space.

[te****]

I'm not male, but the most are rather disrespectful. Ergo... They don't read. Comprehension is Paramount.

[SoftDomD]

I’ve personally only been approached a handful of times and always been very respectful..

I hate the entitlement a lot of ‘doms’ think they have and as someone else mentioned, it’s stomach turning a lot of the time.

If I ever reach out, it is always respectful and never sexual as it takes time for both sides to get there in my opinion 🤷‍♂️

[sardonicus87]

Not counting bots, like most men, I don't get messages ever on here, mostly because I don't allow messages from men.
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That's literally the only messages I get on other sites where I can't choose to block messages from certain groups, is sissies and gay men trying to get me to do gay stuff on the DL.
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Which I guess is inappropriate regardless of whether or not they're a "real sub" because it's in my hard limits and I make it very clear what I am and am not into, and that's definitely a hard no, yet they try anyway.
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Though also, I am not a Dom, but figured I would answer because most people just seem to use "Dom" when they're really just meaning "top" (D/s-normative bs "community" that is BDSM).

[ey****]

It's rare.

But when I do.  Guess what? It's from male subs.

[Sa****]

I get objectified for what I am out and about.And on the internet, I used to love it in the beginning.But not so much anymore.I want someone to appreciate who I am.Just not what I am.

[An****]

I had one on a dateing site couple years ago start off chatting than after a while asked for *** said submission costs expected me to pay her to submit n would only submit for 200 bucks I laughed n blocked her

[Wr****]

46 minutes ago, Adonis40210 said:

This your first time online or? Just curious.

Just because it's typical that does not mean we should just accept inappropriate messages constantly in our inboxes

[Le****]

As a male dom, the only inappropriate messages I’ve received on this ap have come from other male doms 😔

[ic****]

Nope I never get messaged first let alone anything inappropriate

[Deleted Member]

Never get inappropriate as a male. Just doesn’t happen