So often I hear Doms say they want “total obedience”

September 11

20 minutes ago, The_Vyxxxn said:

This could not be more accurate or true. I wish more Dominants recognized and implemented this. It's a shame they don't care enough to.

Yes, exactly. Being submissive never means being easy or instantly obedient to anyone who asks. Trust and communication have to come first, otherwise it’s not dominance — it’s entitlement. And entitlement is a red flag every time.

September 11

Well said
Agreed totally ❤️

September 11

31 minutes ago, The_Vyxxxn said:

This could not be more accurate or true. I wish more Dominants recognized and implemented this. It's a shame they don't care enough to.

It's probably because they are not true dominants. They are just super confident men who want easy sex or findom women trying to find easy targets. I try not to relate to any of them...

September 11

1 hour ago, theSir_ObservingU said:

You have to be emotionally intelligent to be able to hold space for a submissive emotionally. Lots of doms arent self aware enough to be more than just pleasure doms. Obedience takes holding. I want my subs to want to I we to need to. It have too.

Yes, exactly — holding space emotionally is such an overlooked part of dominance. For me, obedience can only feel real when it’s grounded in that emotional safety. Otherwise it risks feeling hollow, like performance rather than surrender.

September 11

1 hour ago, Rebel25 said:

And in turn my experience is that all involved receive more of what they are looking for sometimes even more then they have to give. If the relationship is healthy it is always worth investing in. Time energy all of it. My submissive has never once disappointed me even if she has said no to something or made mistakes. Mistakes mean she is trying. Yes sometimes it costs me time or maybe *** or whatever the case is. But truth be told i don't care because she felt it necessary to try just because she wanted to please me because that is what she wants to do. So i make sure she has the opportunity to explore anything she wants. In return it builds our relationship it builds her confidence. I get the submissive she gets someone who only wants to see her grow and succeed. Doms to often only take and don't give. Discipline is fine. Sometimes necessary but can be done in a way to encourage growth. Bratting is not ment to be disciplined into nothing. It's an opportunity to build the relationship. Find out why or what the cause is. And in some cases yes she wants a spanking or something more. In others its because she doesn't understand something or is frustrated with something and that is the opportunity to build trust and understanding. So even in a total submissive that is still there and very appropriate

I really appreciate the way you’ve put this. It shows how much more there is to dominance than just ‘getting what you want.’ When a Dom invests the time and energy to understand mistakes or bratting as opportunities for growth, it shifts the whole dynamic. That kind of care builds not just obedience, but devotion — and that’s a completely different level of connection.

September 11

56 minutes ago, Rockstone83 said:

Everytime someone opens a chat and talks to me asking for obedience like if we knew each other for so long I don't even bother to reply. It's such a red flag.
Being submissive does not mean you are easy. Communication and trust is a must. I can't understand who can open and turn this *** to someone that has just met.

Such a red flag. Submission has to be earned — it’s not something you can just demand from a stranger. Without trust and communication first, obedience is meaningless. I don’t understand how some still think they can bypass that.

September 11

I like the assessment and as fars as brats are concerned i think that youll never have true obedience but to get the desired end result of obedience there does need to be that same devotion and recognizing their limits. Building your dom experience around them

September 11

Obedience is easy. It’s compliance by demand mechanical, hollow, done to avoid consequence.

But surrender? Real surrender is alive.

It happens in that moment when a submissive exhales everything she’s been holding the armor, the noise, the need to control and she drops into the fullness of her feminine. That’s where the world slows down. That’s where her breath changes. That’s where she feels seen.

And that is where I meet her.

I do not stand over her like a tyrant. I rise to meet her surrender with presence, with power that does not crush but holds. My dominance does not consume her; it amplifies her. My guidance does not diminish her; it gives her a place to rest, so that the fire of who she is can burn brighter.

This is not about taking control. This is about building a current so charged, so electric, that surrender becomes inevitable. She doesn’t give because she must she gives because the gravity between us makes anything else impossible.

And when that happens when she melts, when her edges soften, when the tension leaves her body and she offers herself with trust... I rise even higher. Because her surrender is not weakness; it is a crown. And the moment she places it in my hands, I wear it with devotion.

That is the difference between obedience and surrender.

One is taken.
The other is given.

And I will always choose the kind that makes us both more.

September 11

I think 🤔
That unfortunately the overly kean doms
Are scammers or out for financial gain

And they go hard fast to save time and prey on the ***
😞❤️

September 11

3 hours ago, Rockstone83 said:

Everytime someone opens a chat and talks to me asking for obedience like if we knew each other for so long I don't even bother to reply. It's such a red flag.
Being submissive does not mean you are easy. Communication and trust is a must. I can't understand who can open and turn this *** to someone that has just met.

This. I think this is key for any meet with D/S dynamics. Even if it's FWB, there should be communication and you should talk to your potential sub/dom and get to know them a bit before establishing such things.

September 11

I honestly don't want total submission. I crave a brat as I like having my buttons pushed. I crave the playfulness, the attitude. It turns me on, ignites a fire in my head.

September 11

Tammy has broken me. I’m not just obedient—I’m addicted, ruined, and chained to her cock and her power. Every command, every use, every second under her destroys me deeper until I exist only to drool and beg for more. She’s hunting for new sluts to crush and own. DM her ***am – HungTammy if you’re ready to ***, cry, and surrender your whole life to her thick, dripping 10-inch cock

September 11

Agree 100% what's going to say that a missile statement is so cliche. One gets a more Submissive partner when one is more dominant. With finesse

September 11

Very well said. Submission and Dominance is earned. Nothing should come easy or free. Its always a give and take, never one sided.

September 11

Facts

September 11

That's absolutely true. I like to soft dom first. I like the role play of domination, but I also don't think its normal or sexy to treat a random woman like that. I was a soft daddy dom first with one woman and she felt comfortable enough to later want much harder situations.

September 11

There’s always a paradox most doms understand that. No one is truly obedient or truly yours

September 11

I agree to a point, it’s sacrificing safety that’s what the real turn on is. I love being a Dom

September 11

Let's agree that sometimes both sides ! Are vanished between the lines ! ! Subs don't know what's submission means nor doms means what the dynamic they seek ! A enormous number between are looking for sex only ! Don't get me wrong- sex is great- but for this article - post purposes ! Sex is not number 1 ! Not even 2 ! For me - 3rd or even 4th! The connection matter and the dynamic - more important than just a sex !

September 11

Can this be accomplished in a short term nsa relationship? I see nsa but also they want a dom. I can see this bond and connection of feeling safe and cherished when u get to know someone over time. So how long do yall thi k it takes to establish this and other than just bring urself and having a good vibe, is there anything that can be done to encourage this closer emotional safety condition?

September 11

Is there more reasonable to point out that the real Paradox are submissives that say things like they're the ones with the real power and all that stuff? Because that attitude makes you feel like a role play that they're just getting into the role of being submissive and they can turn it off whenever they've had enough

September 11

I had a Dom come to me & demanded I submitted to him. I declined. Because like you said, Doms aren't owed submission. You earn it. It was a slap to the face when he didn't acknowledge something that basic. Even more so when he dismissed the fact that I'm a Domme leaning switch myself. A lot Doms nowadays view that as a challenge because they think that all women & femmes are submissive in nature. My submission is sacred & needs to be earned. To dismiss that means that you don't see me not just as a partner but a human being. It was so disrespectful. It's one of the biggest red flags I've ever seen in a person.

September 11

Fun point. A dominant should know they never had the full control. They were GIFTED the control and should not *** it!!

September 12

That is 100% the paradox. When you adore something you possess, it possesses you back.

September 12

My goal is always total obedience, but reaching that goal is more on me than her. Showing her she can trust me completely, getting to know her well enough to ask her to do things she already wants, and always following through with what I say. Those are a few of the ways i can work towards that goal.