If i knew then what i know now........

[Ta****]

I now realise the reason why its been so hard to let you go,
Its cos i fell in love with you, not just at your best but at your worst too.
I dont care what other people think of me,
I just know i loved, worshipped & adored you,
Even with your flaws, my submission was completely yours.

If i knew loving you, obeying, serving & submitting to you would have left me so broken & destroyed,
I would have looked the other way,
I wouldnt have replied,
I would have left you where you were.
I thought you were the One, my King, my Dom.

But now.................

I hate that day i responded,
I didnt realise that one small moment would end up hurting me & almost destroy me.
Some days i try to tell myself "im okay" but deep down i know a part of me will never heal.

If only i knew then what i know now.

[ni****]

If only they felt the damage they do x

[Ta****]

6 hours ago, nikmac said:

If only they felt the damage they do x

Not all Doms are like him but the lies he spun to get me back, then to do what he did & to others too that i dont hate or blame as it is all on him.
Im moving forward & in a much better place so the loss is his to live with if he even cares bt thats on him. Im free to be me again so who knows what my future holds...............

[Ro****]

Ill be the first to admit I was him. I didn't know what I had. I didn't know what all was required. I felt the a kernel panic of emotions.. I'm not good enough, can I still be original. Why Is she still with me. A Dom to such a powerful submissive gives a man an ego you wouldn't believe. It took me almost a decade to feel it again. Now I'm more mindful. This is a relationship in and of itself. I must respect myself while respecting our needs and relationship. Abandoning isn't one of them.

[Ta****]

1 hour ago, RoamingVegas said:

Ill be the first to admit I was him. I didn't know what I had. I didn't know what all was required. I felt the a kernel panic of emotions.. I'm not good enough, can I still be original. Why Is she still with me. A Dom to such a powerful submissive gives a man an ego you wouldn't believe. It took me almost a decade to feel it again. Now I'm more mindful. This is a relationship in and of itself. I must respect myself while respecting our needs and relationship. Abandoning isn't one of them.

Fair play to holding your hands up bt this guy will never change after being in the lifestyle over 20 yrs i wasnt the only sub he played his game with & the guilt that put on each of us is something we have had to navigate ontop of his betrayal. He will never take accountability but i can, i have, that door is firmly closed to him & it time for me to move forward now.

[Deleted Member]

I sympathise & empathise with you on this too. We can do better and will have better because we are better. Big hugs xx