Not giving oral. Am i being selfish?

[Ne****]

Not selfish. Why do something you don't like? I don't engage in activities just because someone else enjoys said activity. In the course of a healthy relationship, non-toxic give and take + negotiation + compromise + mutual satisfaction etc are all 👌🏽. Assuming I need to perform certain acts, any act, wherein I'm sincerely not into it and or worried, concerned, and or otherwise simply not liking it or enjoying myself, it is entirely My/Your prerogative to not engage in said things. I don't feel one iota of guilt for telling any penis possessor that I don't want to suck them.
Nothing will 'make' you like it. That's it. So state as much, securely, and without succumbing to any porn-driven societal entitlement etc that calls folks wrong, prudes, gay, gay and in denial, manhaters, evil or any other untrue rudeness for simply disliking a specific act.

I'm sorry for your distress. I have no practical advice to help you like fellatio - because aside from psychological conditioning/brainwashing if you will, there isn't such advice. I hope you reconcile this matter inside yourself, for yourself. 🤘🏽

[Do****]

You can't help what you can't help. You're putting that out there AT THE ONSET, so anyone that has an issue with it can choose to either accept it or keep looking. It's not selfish; it's telling people how you feel.

[Ra****]

Everyone has their own Limitations & Desires, it’s a beautiful thing to step into your own Authentic Expressions for Sharing Love & Communicating them; I’m in the same boat as you, learning to state boundaries, as I have felt judged & unappreciated for what I wasn’t wanting to give, rather than appreciating all the love I do have to give.

I also decided to go towards a Poly lifestyle so I could honor my Desires & Others without putting pressure on one partner to fulfill all my Needs & Desires, via versa—Thanks for speaking up, continue to be brave!

[Deleted Member]

So in my opinion you can’t expect what you’re not willing to give. So you would have to be okay never receiving oral. However if it’s just the sensation of it in your mouth or “cum” then that’s easily alleviated by just using your hands, tongue and lips without it going into your mouth. You can stimulate the external parts and still not have that aversion. Now if that doesn’t work for you too then I would consider trying to discover why you have the aversion. It could be trauma in your past and I would try to work through that. Just my thoughts

[Al****]

it’s not selfish to not wanna do it but personally i wouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t does that make me selfish?

[kn****]

Simple answer, yes. Unless you are for some reason medically incapable you are being selfish. And if you want to be selfish, you're welcome to be, but expect some resentment to accompany that....

[CrispX]

If I may ask … is it the p*nis in your mouth or the c*m? If the latter, you’re not alone! Don’t sweat it!

[do****]

Maybe you could find someone to help you out in that department.. so it's like you're pleasing your Man through another woman's mouth. Knowing that he is enjoying it would be a mission accomplished

[wn****]

It's your limit. Period. Doesn't matter if it's selfish or not. Trying to make you change your limits without that being a negotiated plan is straight up ***. But also! There's a spectrum and range of people who like and dislike doing certain things. I've met many people for many reasons who don't like penetration. Who don't like the look and feel of a penis. Trauma, preference, sensory issues, experience level, general anxiety, lack of trust, soxial expectation etc all can play a part. But it ultimately doesn't matter the reason. If that's how you can enjoy sex that's how you enjoy it. I think we are often shamed to "not b selfish" as femme presenting/women. Meanwhile, men are allowed to and expected to make their desires and preferences known and accepted and we are supposed to just accept that. That's bs. Honor yourself and your desires. ❤️

[Tr****]

No you are not selfish, but if you want to try - try
Peanut butter
Trust me
it makes you suck and lick and it has a great taste

[Jd****]

Nah, any dude that's like "oh f**k that I'm not getting involved with a woman that won't put it in her mouth" is just childish and immature.

[Bu****]

It’s the nature of the beast. As a man I can tell when she LOVES giving oral OMG I can tell. Vice versa, I love to eat pussy. It obviously reflects. I hate anal. Hence I’m one of the only guys that won’t seek it from his partner. Moral being if you don’t love giving it, don’t. It’s worse trying to please and they can tell.

[Au****]

I would never go with a woman that didn't suck. Ever.

[om****]

Is it the d**k or is it the man? Have you ever ask yourself if you maybe like women more?

[ta****]

For me it's a case of I wouldn't want you to be doing it apart from very specific times where the fact you might not be enjoying it is part of the fun

[Deleted Member]

So I know the idea behind not liking it and it turning you off. But maybe you are looking at it in the wrong manner. When giving head have you ever looked at your partner. Do they enjoy your submission to them. Embrace your power that you have at pleasing your partner. You are controlling this person just as a true submissive has ultimate power over there dominant. The act of giving the blowjob should bring forth excstacy to your partner.

But if that is not enough for you and you just can't get past the feeling of a p*nis I. Your mouth then don't do it.

The choice is yours to make.

[Deleted Member]

Not unselfish believe it or not there are men who dont like getting blowjobs. Everyone is different.

[Deleted Member]

You can always let your best friend suck his cock while you watch. This would be an extreme turn on for your partner

[Darksparky]

Its not selfish...AS LONG AS....your partners understand WHY you won't do it. I dated a girl for 4 years & she wouldn't even try, wouldn't talk about it-nothing. I had a hard time with it because I thought maybe there was something about ME that was the issue. Communication is everything.

[ja****]

If you dont like it you just dont. Honestly its a thing for me so any girl has to enjoy it or i wont even start a conversation. Thats me tho

[Li****]

Selfish af, I bet he doesn’t like doing something you enjoy but he sucks it up.. which is literally what you should do

[An****]

But you do like get your p*ssy licked, right?
If you are afraid of c*m in your mouth then you make a deal with the guy that he tells you when he is close to end, and then he can c*m on your tits or somewhere else..
Or just try put some "Ice cream" On It, everybody likes Ice cream, so do you

[Deleted Member]

I wouldn't say you are selfish. I look at it as I want to please my partner so turning them on turns me on! But I am straight so oral sex for me is different. But I do lose the mood if I have to do it for along time. Maybe you can find other ways that please your partner and try other things while not having to give oral the whole time.

[ge****]

It is ok to have limits and preferences. But in this scene it is also important to communicate that to a potential partner. For many people oral sex is prefered if not needed in order to get off.

[Ne****]

3 hours ago, StoneProtector said:

So in my opinion you can’t expect what you’re not willing to give. So you would have to be okay never receiving oral. However if it’s just the sensation of it in your mouth or “cum” then that’s easily alleviated by just using your hands, tongue and lips without it going into your mouth. You can stimulate the external parts and still not have that aversion. Now if that doesn’t work for you too then I would consider trying to discover why you have the aversion. It could be trauma in your past and I would try to work through that. Just my thoughts

That seems childish and toxic, though. People are allowed to not like a thing, not do said thing, and NOT have it be held against them [ie strategically refuse some thing their partner may (or may not) enjoy] out of spite.
If speaking from a place of thinking cunnilingus isn't fun/cool/enjoyable whatever, then that is also supported by the previous comment.

Again, IN A HEALTHY INTERACTION OR RELATIONSHIP, discussion + mutual agreeance and compromise if agreed upon + folks cool with sometimes doing things that aren't their favourite.