Not giving oral. Am i being selfish?

[le****]

I would say no. Consent matters

[Um****]

If it’s something you’re not comfortable with, or cannot do, you are well within your right to not do it.

[Roofpig]

You really need to say “no” to things that turn you off. Having boundaries does not, by itself, make you selfish. And not everyone likes oral.

Now, if what you actually desire is someone who will put significant time and attention into your pleasure, with no consideration for theirs, that probably *is* selfish. It’s still not wrong to want what you want, and there will be people out there for you, but they are not a dime a dozen. Many people want relationships that are more equal than that.

[Ra****]

You do you

[DD****]

You not like or wanting to give oral is totally ok. It’s a boundary that he must respect. It’s a fetish just like others. Since it’s the Dominants responsibility and role to push boundaries of kinks you are into, if a kink isn’t talked about and agreed upon then that is not an option. If he doesn’t respect that boundary, then he probably doesn’t respect you enough to have you.

[Di****]

You are under no obligation to perform any sex acts you find uncomfortable.

Personally, I love eating women out! So much so, that if she hated giving blowjobs, I'd be absolutely fine with it. And I'm certain that I'm not alone.

[em****]

Oh that would be absolutely fine to me, I never liked blow jobs or came from one, at first I thought it was because my partners weren't really good at it, but then I found out that, to put it bluntly, I'm more of a giver than a taker

[ja****]

I don't know, I mean sometimes you got to do stuff that that you don't absolutely love. After all it's not like men aren't getting the short end of the flavor stick when it comes to oral themselves

[Pu****]

I dont think its selfish, youve stated it as hard limit. So if anyone wanting to connect with you cba to read your profile and accept that isnt worth your time in the first place.

[We****]

I broke my jaw twice, it hurts to give head for more than 10 minutes but tbf I tell men that and 9/10 tell me they ain’t fussed about getting it anyway 🤣 if it’s a hard limit they should respect that but also if they love it they should skip past your profile

[Ge****]

A perspective from the other side; my wife is pretty much the smell way in not wanting to give oral a majority of the time for various reasons. She would never swallow as she dislikes the texture, and her mind immediately starts thinking of snot like texture. Sometimes she gives to giving oral after much pleading even if it's not to finish.
Now from my perspective, I take it as not being desired enough to want to be pleased. I go down on her as often as she let's me even though she never let's me finish her off orally.
So, as a receiver, my thinking is that it's a lack of desiring me enough to give oral. That is how I perceive the situation.

[Ro****]

Yes

[fe****]

You're into what you're into, there's no shame in that. Have you ever thought about pleasing a woman more than a d**k in your mouth? I'm just curious about your aversion to a cock in certain places. All the same do you and don't feel bad about it.

[fi****]

Stop being selfish

[De****]

Maybe it’s your feelings for them.. you could feel for them outside of sex, but if you’re into them sexually, you’ll bypass a lot of the downfalls. There were women that I thought of I could get in bed, I’m gonna do everything I can to them.. got those women, and blew their minds.. I ate a girl for almost 2 hours drunk, and I could care less for doing it at all.. but devise she had what I wanted to enjoy in body type, in enjoyed her as much as I could before she couldn’t take anymore. Felt like licking water the whole time, so it didn’t matter how long I went. Then I smashed her on the beach until we’re passed out and woke up when security checked on us 😂. So it could be your attraction to him.. maybe you like him as a person, but you’re not stretched to him sexually.. I had a woman learn to give me head for almost an hour, but she hated doing it to anyone else.. just got in the mood to do it to me, and did it until I stopped her. I think it just depends on how the person makes you feel sexually, not any other way.

[Er****]

After reading some of the comments, i felt the need to weigh in... you have zero obligation to do anything you dont want to do. If your partner insists you do it after youve expressed your disgust, then you need to read that as a red flag. And for you doms out there who disagree with this, and believe you should make her do ot anyway, consider the reality that disgust is an emotion that will lose your sub.

[Ja****]

I agree that you should never be made to do something you don’t want to do. But also be up front and honest about it. Because for me that would be hard pass.

[fa****]

Hell no, bc I love a pillow princess

[Be****]

I’m bi and I much prefer going down on women than men.
Men try and *** you on their d**k and I hate not being able to breathe. It’s a turn off for me. I once threw up on a guy that decided he was going to try and deep throat me without warning. He didn’t try that again 🤣
So I totally get why you feel like you do. Bad experiences make you not want to do it again.
But finding the right DD that allowed me to explore him and what I enjoyed, changed how I feel about it now.
But not all men are about BJs. And I’m sure you’ll find your perfect match. Good luck and stick firm to what you’re comfortable with xx

[fi****]

I hate whiners. Especially men who whine.

[jm****]

Not over sensitive, my ex and I had the same problem, she was averse to the texture, and Im averse to texture and taste, so we never went down on each other, we tried several time before both agreeing it wasnt for us. Communication is key

[Deleted Member]

Thursday at 10:44 PM, NexumSange said:

That seems childish and toxic, though. People are allowed to not like a thing, not do said thing, and NOT have it be held against them [ie strategically refuse some thing their partner may (or may not) enjoy] out of spite.
If speaking from a place of thinking cunnilingus isn't fun/cool/enjoyable whatever, then that is also supported by the previous comment.

Again, IN A HEALTHY INTERACTION OR RELATIONSHIP, discussion + mutual agreeance and compromise if agreed upon + folks cool with sometimes doing things that aren't their favourite.

It’s not tho. There will always be things we don’t like. That’s fine to not desire or want them, but you can’t also be mad if someone returns the issue of well if your not wanting to do that then neither will I. You can’t imply something is okay and agreed upon then revoke it without you doing the work of communicating it or finding alternatives. She is essentially saying I’m not okay with it but I don’t want to do anything about it, which will lead to resentment build up and relationship to fall apart. Meanwhile the other person maybe completely unaware.

[Ju****]

Just get really good at hand or boob jobs.

[Sp****]

So as you mentioned " the thought of having cum in your mouth..." would lead me to believe that past trauma has affected you outlook on the act itself. I will assume that you enjoy when a man goes down on you, am i correct? So, if this is the case, you might want to seek some professional help to get to the root of the issue. To put it bluntly, tell your future partner(s) upfront because that's a huge decision for a man to have to make. I know i would like to know upfront about that limit with my partner(s). That way, I could make a choice myself. There are A LOT of fish in the sea, so no harm, no foul. Thank you for the honesty and good luck in your search. To me, oral is about intimacy. The actual most intimate act you can perform. The control, the heat, the passion. That intense feeling of ultimate control. To be able to control an orgasm indefinitely if you choose, or to let it happen in 25 seconds, is amazing to me. Also, for myself, it increases that desire to just consume my partner(s). If you haven't had that feeling of just wanting to devour and consume someone to the point you feel like your whole being is going to blow up if you dont immediately act on those desires, then you may not have met the right person or your mental state is keeping you from allowing it to happen. Anyway good luck to you.

[om****]

This chat is more a baitchat. Ohh, I am a bimbo... what are all the strong men think, when they know ,when driving a car I like more the right curve as the lefts. Then my boots are bouncing more. Sarcasm off. Really. Like it or not, easy decision