Not giving oral. Am i being selfish?

[ho****]

I dont think its selfish. Of course I love giving oral and could care less if the favor gets returned.

[Deleted Member]

I’d guess more women feel this way than admit it. Size def matters too big or small ones just hard for some to literally get mouth around other can feel like there’s nothing to do for want of better words. But when you do get your moth around it feel it harden more as for opposite you feel changes in your mouth - I think this point is where it flips for some of us - pleasure doesn’t come from a d**k in mouth it comes from the changes the mains etc. so yeah many are hesitant but that changes. Obs not happening for you and that’s ok. Like many things when you stop worrying bout it reframe it as something you may enjoy it ends up happening naturally. C*ms a different ball game I swear it’s most men’s instinct to grab back of head when they are ready to blow. Those who don’t swallow usually immediately wanna spit go point it ruins mood so there’s no point in doing what your not ok with maybe IF U WANT TO do slow exposure like introducing a new food to people - start small and go from there. Many women choose not to swallow your not abnormal. If he can’t pull out I. Enough time - disrespect. Take break from pressure on you. Expose yourself with iron etc if nothings worked or works that’s ok not everyone eats a** some enjoy too much. It’s ok. You’re not hurting anyone byhaving limits. You’re looking after no 1! Totes most important. Take care!

[sp****]

Do what floats ur boat

[Deleted Member]

Attempt (1): You tried it.
Result: You did not like it.
Multiple Attempts: You tried it, again.
Result: You still do not like it.

Conclusion: Do what makes your partner AND you enjoy your time together.

[Wa****]

Do you also not like receiving head? If thats the case, not a big deal to me, now if you didnt want to give head but wanted it, id be like ehhhhh idkkkk 😅

[Ki****]

I would say try a fruit roll up on it

[li****]

You should grow to love giving blows Jobs.. it’s such a show of love to see it through to the end

[Re****]

Yesterday at 03:04 AM, DoughBoi0917 said:

Selfish and very in my book, especially if you expect this man to be loyal to you. It would be different if you wasn’t asking a bunch of men you don’t know on a KINK website but you asked and I’m a real Dom so I can’t play pretend like the rest in here. You selfish because you’re in a relationship and you’re expecting him to be faithful to you. I can say more but you asked us not to be a**holes.

A real Dom cares about consent so stop calling yourself one

[sp****]

Chocolate sauce and peanut butter

[ev****]

I dont need oral but i love giving it to women.

[Deleted Member]

If you're not enjoying I'd say don't do it or consider that maybe you're just not that into your partner. If you were, you'd love pleasing orally and if you don't please orally I wouldn't expect for someone to please me orally and no way could I be ok with that. It's my favorite. Giving and receiving. I fully enjoy it only if I enjoy the person it's with.

[Qu****]

I think what’s she saying is she doesn’t like giving oral in general, that it bothers her and since she’s in a relationship with her partner it’s effecting it. Honestly I’m on her side and if she doesn’t enjoy it, why push it? If the person she’s with can’t respect her that she doesn’t like giving oral, then respect her. Don’t go running off to someone else to get it. That’s messed up. If you respect your partner and love them a lot. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal, yet men always do when it comes to that and they wander off to find it in other places. Now that’s selfish, she’s not. She wants to be appreciated and respected because she doesn’t enjoy it. If your partner loves you enough then he will accept it. If not, find someone who does.

[Deleted Member]

56 minutes ago, Queen_Viking said:

I think what’s she saying is she doesn’t like giving oral in general, that it bothers her and since she’s in a relationship with her partner it’s effecting it. Honestly I’m on her side and if she doesn’t enjoy it, why push it? If the person she’s with can’t respect her that she doesn’t like giving oral, then respect her. Don’t go running off to someone else to get it. That’s messed up. If you respect your partner and love them a lot. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal, yet men always do when it comes to that and they wander off to find it in other places. Now that’s selfish, she’s not. She wants to be appreciated and respected because she doesn’t enjoy it. If your partner loves you enough then he will accept it. If not, find someone who does.

Or better yet, let them run off and get it from someone else. She’s better off. Some of the domme comments on this topic are an embarrassment. Seriously. Message to the Dommes: if she has a problem with it, that’s a problem. Look for a solution, not try to *** a square peg into a round hole and expect a good result.

[fr****]

A doms job is to learn and take care of there subs needs and desires too. So learning what your comfortable with and respecting what your not is part of that relationship

[Shilo66]

YES, it is selfish to expect a guy who likes blow jobs (BJs) to be okay with NOT getting any.

You either need to find a new partner who categorically states that HE doesn't mind NOT receiving BJs, or, YOU must be okay with your partner getting one elsewhere.

You can't have it both ways.

And I repeat, you can't expect a guy who enjoys BJs, to be okay with not getting any.

Imagine if he turned around to you and told you that he never really enjoyed giving you any affection - [but you like affection] - and from now on, he is going to stop giving or showing any.

From now on, it would be  s-e-x only.

Would YOU stay with him once the affection is withdrawn???

Would YOU appreciate anyone telling YOU that YOU should put up with that and stay?

Because, just like YOU, it's well within HIS rights not to have to do something he doesn't want or like.

Edited September 27, 2025 by Shilo66

[Deleted Member]

It's simple y'all want affection and security, we want head and pussy. If the exchange isn't even, someone is getting played.

[Em****]

Never do something that makes you uncomfortable. My own personal hard limits include 💩, ***, (fortunately most people also have aversions to poop or *** so it isn’t a huge dealbreaker) or cum on my face. All 3 of those gross me out. It is the germ factor and the mess of cum on my face. Does that make me selfish? Hell no! That makes me comfortable with my limits. That being said I absolutely love giving BJ’s 😍 it is a sensation I enjoy very much so… as long as you don’t cum on my face cause that is icky to me. My husband knows that and is 100% respectful of that. I don’t mind swallowing (sometimes) and other times I spit. And that is entirely up to my mood on any given day. I love a good throat f*cking… but then again I am into breathe play and I enjoy the sensation of my breathe being taken away. But don’t cum on my face… after throat f*cking me or at the end of a BJ cause that I do not enjoy. Again this doesn’t make me selfish… it is just me aware of my limits and what I do or do not like. And any partner that you are with is going to respect what you don’t like and not ask you to do it. And it sounds like you have made multiple attempts to please your partner and still don’t like it so you can chalk it up as a “this isn’t something I like.” A less extreme example for me. I don’t like mango. 🥭 I never have. People will often say “you should try this! It is so good! It doesn’t even taste like mango!” Sometimes I will simply say no thank you. Sometimes my brain will go “I haven’t tried it for awhile… maybe this time it will be good.” Then I try it and get an instant reminder that NOPE, I still don’t like mango. But you know what? That is OK, because not everyone has to like mango, and there are plenty of other fruits I do like and I just choose them instead. And as far as all the guys that say you can’t expect to get oral if you don’t give it, that is a load of BS. There are plenty of other ways you can please your partner. And there are plenty of ways your partner can please you and they are not going to be the same way. You just need to explore what you DO like and what feels comfortable for you. Any partner worth being with will understand this. And you will discover there are things he/she don’t enjoy as well and that is fine!

As a side note… I love giving BJ’s, I really enjoy it, like it is one of my favorite things to do. Know what I don’t like? Getting pubic hair in my mouth or stuck in my teeth. It ruins the enjoyment for me cause, well, hair in your mouth or teeth just is not comfortable. My husband knows this so he shaves down there 🥰 and it increases the enjoyment factor by a lot for me. ☺️ If you want to, you could ask your partner to shave down there and see if it makes a difference. (And tell them to stop before they cum in your mouth) But only if YOU want to. Not cause someone else is trying to guilt you into doing something you don’t like to please them. I return the favor cause my husband likes to eat out a smooth 😻I mean… no one would enjoy eating a hairy cookie right? 😉

So these are my thoughts on your question… and I hope that you understand that not doing something you don’t enjoy isn’t selfish. In fact it is quite the opposite. It is loving the most important person… you… and knowing what your limits are and what you are comfortable with. Because that is the most important thing. And anyone who tells you otherwise is not worthy of your time or attention because they will continue to trample your other boundaries until you no longer know who you are anymore.

[co****]

Not Selfish at all anyone who says it is is just selfish them selves

[Ft****]

The rules are safe and consensual. It's not consent if it's coerced you don't wanna do it that's that if anyone tries to push it that's no longer consent end of.

Have a talk maybe you can come up with some fun non mouth alternatives with your partner and have a sexy time discussing it and planning. Find out what they like about that act and find ways to get the same result.

[Ll****]

Preferences are 0references and they are like boundaries, if they cant respect that then they aren't good for you.

[ka****]

I'd have to agree that it's not selfish to not give oral, oral isn't for everyone and everyone else should be ok with you not wanting a cock and cum in your mouth

[mr****]

How about the going down on you part???

[Starving]

My wife use to do it several times a week and then all of a sudden she stopped and does not want to anymore. It’s fine with me. I don’t hold anything against her. If she’s not able for some reason it’s fine. I never push her and make her think she has to. I really enjoyed it but sometimes all good things must come to an end. Please don’t feel bad about not being able to. There’s always other things to do and talk about. 

[Do****]

Honestly, to me it’s ok mainly because I don’t care for BJs but I will ask for them once or twice a year, my bday and New Year’s Eve

[Ji****]

You’re feeling and likes/dislikes are absolutely valid. And as long as you’re up front with it, it’s totally acceptable.