Rituals in BDSM: How Do You Use Them to Deepen Dynamic & Connection?

[thefootslut]

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the power of rituals in BDSM — both big and small — and how they can rein*** roles, build intimacy, and add psychological depth to a dynamic.

Whether it’s a specific collaring ceremony, a nightly check-in, posture training, inspection rituals, or even things like structured greetings or protocols before scenes — I’d love to hear from others about what rituals you have in your relationships?

[co****]

I am only just a beginner but I like my ma'am s rituals

[En****]

As a magician/occultist, all sex is a magick ritual. Sex is an exchange of energy that, if done with love and intent, leaves all participants with more energy and a higher vibration.

And if you’re really good at it, you can induce gnosis through pleasure.

[co****]

Well this is my first dominant female ever and I don't know if she ever has sex

[Deleted Member]

I don’t have anyone to build rituals with. But I love the idea of that and what you’ve stated above 😌

[El****]

I love how rituals can create a sense of anticipation, obedience and safety for the sub

[co****]

The first time I'm at my dom she made me come in get on my knees wearing clothing to put my face in her crotch and told me that this was home and this is how I would greet her and then I would bow to her feet and then she would lift me up was fucking amazing

[co****]

And now I get to text her good morning everyday and I'm allowed to add a little extra to it which I totally enjoy

[ey****]

with my former Domme - it was a distance relationship - so the rituals were fairly simple.

Good Morning texts, and good night texts as I got up or went to bed (simple, to the point) 

Now, when I saw her - there was a simple rule.  It doesn't matter where or when, if I saw her I had to drop to my knees, arms outstretched, palms up to greet her.  She would then place a foot in front of my face for me to kiss, then swap, then invite me up.

This had caused me to drop to my knees in the middle of (fetish) events a few times.   She did say/joke she still expected this even though we're not in a dynamic any more, but I haven't actually seen her since.  Though.... probably.... would. 

[DH****]

I'd love to have a relationship I could establish some of these in - however I can conceptualize your question easily in terms of personal talismans in identity formation. Feel free to chat with me privately, my current perspective on boundaries says that's the correct answer both ways. 🤦🏼‍♂️🙇🏽‍♂️

[al****]

My Master and I have have a certain set of so called rituals that may or may not fit in with the meaning of your question but I thought I could share and let you decide. We tend to text very formally. It’s just something that started and it continues on. I think it makes us both feel connected in our D/s dynamic while we are apart. I always call Him Master, DM or Daddy depending on my emotions at the time. He calls me My ds, My slave , or good girl. Every morning as soon as I wake up I text Him, “ Good morning Master”. His usual reply being, “GM My ds”. I know it sounds simple and perhaps boring to some but it the way we start our daily interaction and I find great comfort in it. In fact, if He replies with only a standard good morning with our normal ritual it tends to make me slightly anxious. If outsiders or even some of you fellow kinksters saw our exchanges you may find us odd. The way he refers to Himself in the third person at times. Ex:”DM wants ds at His feet serving where she belongs.” It may seem stilted at times but it keeps us rooted in Who we are to each other. We have other rituals also. One being that He always tucks me in at night. We don’t live together are about an hour away from each other so don’t get to see each other as much as I would like. So instead, he calls me each night and we fill each other in on our days. Then He will talk to me about life as He waits for me to drift off to sleep. Only then will He disconnect our call.. sometimes He will stay longer and listen to me breathe as I sleep as He does things around His home. Or at times He will remain on the line and sleep with me. It works for us and I believe these rituals though simple, are what has kept us together for 2 years and got us through rough times.

[Charlie-7800]

23 hours ago, aligurl80 said:

My Master and I have have a certain set of so called rituals that may or may not fit in with the meaning of your question but I thought I could share and let you decide. We tend to text very formally. It’s just something that started and it continues on. I think it makes us both feel connected in our D/s dynamic while we are apart. I always call Him Master, DM or Daddy depending on my emotions at the time. He calls me My ds, My slave , or good girl. Every morning as soon as I wake up I text Him, “ Good morning Master”. His usual reply being, “GM My ds”. I know it sounds simple and perhaps boring to some but it the way we start our daily interaction and I find great comfort in it. In fact, if He replies with only a standard good morning with our normal ritual it tends to make me slightly anxious. If outsiders or even some of you fellow kinksters saw our exchanges you may find us odd. The way he refers to Himself in the third person at times. Ex:”DM wants ds at His feet serving where she belongs.” It may seem stilted at times but it keeps us rooted in Who we are to each other. We have other rituals also. One being that He always tucks me in at night. We don’t live together are about an hour away from each other so don’t get to see each other as much as I would like. So instead, he calls me each night and we fill each other in on our days. Then He will talk to me about life as He waits for me to drift off to sleep. Only then will He disconnect our call.. sometimes He will stay longer and listen to me breathe as I sleep as He does things around His home. Or at times He will remain on the line and sleep with me. It works for us and I believe these rituals though simple, are what has kept us together for 2 years and got us through rough times.

I'm interested, when you talk about your day is it in the same formal tone or just a normal conversation that a vanilla couple would have?

[thefootslut]

Some fascinating replies here everyone, really interested about what rituals mean to different people and the range of rituals that we have  

[felix1234]

On 10/12/2025 at 1:19 AM, thefootslut said:

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the power of rituals in BDSM — both big and small — and how they can rein*** roles, build intimacy, and add psychological depth to a dynamic.

Whether it’s a specific collaring ceremony, a nightly check-in, posture training, inspection rituals, or even things like structured greetings or protocols before scenes — I’d love to hear from others about what rituals you have in your relationships?

How interesting we're all talking about sex magick on The Great Beast 666's 150th birthday

As a magickal person, as a psychdelic person, and as a magickal person, that is to say, as a person, I believe strongly in the power of ritual. The destruction of ritual was the great crime of the so called Enlightenment which denounced all modes of thought and large-scale neural networks, psychoactive substances that were not merely narcotic in action, and all altered states  other than those compatible with the rigid and austere Portestant work ethic.

From my experience, sex, psychoactive medicines (especially psychedelic medicines), magick and music are all extremely synergistic and constitute a separate thread of human experience that has run the course of history through Egypt, Greece, Catholic Europe, and now in rave and occult scenes. I'm experienced in all but the sex magick thing, and I joiined this site looking for people with experience and intrerest.....unfortuntately I got laughed out of the chat-room. I know the O.T.O roll in my hood, but they kinda....eh, I'm not sure about them.

Edited October 14 by felix1234
used more technically correct word to get around ityyx

[al****]

19 hours ago, Charlie-7800 said:

I'm interested, when you talk about your day is it in the same formal tone or just a normal conversation that a vanilla couple would have?

On the phone we are more relaxed though never fully vanilla. I rarely ever call him by name unless my kid is around. Only Master or Daddy

[subjoe101]

On 10/12/2025 at 3:23 PM, aligurl80 said:

My Master and I have have a certain set of so called rituals that may or may not fit in with the meaning of your question but I thought I could share and let you decide. We tend to text very formally. It’s just something that started and it continues on. I think it makes us both feel connected in our D/s dynamic while we are apart. I always call Him Master, DM or Daddy depending on my emotions at the time. He calls me My ds, My slave , or good girl. Every morning as soon as I wake up I text Him, “ Good morning Master”. His usual reply being, “GM My ds”. I know it sounds simple and perhaps boring to some but it the way we start our daily interaction and I find great comfort in it. In fact, if He replies with only a standard good morning with our normal ritual it tends to make me slightly anxious. If outsiders or even some of you fellow kinksters saw our exchanges you may find us odd. The way he refers to Himself in the third person at times. Ex:”DM wants ds at His feet serving where she belongs.” It may seem stilted at times but it keeps us rooted in Who we are to each other. We have other rituals also. One being that He always tucks me in at night. We don’t live together are about an hour away from each other so don’t get to see each other as much as I would like. So instead, he calls me each night and we fill each other in on our days. Then He will talk to me about life as He waits for me to drift off to sleep. Only then will He disconnect our call.. sometimes He will stay longer and listen to me breathe as I sleep as He does things around His home. Or at times He will remain on the line and sleep with me. It works for us and I believe these rituals though simple, are what has kept us together for 2 years and got us through rough times.

Wonderful rituals. It's often the small simple things that rein*** the dom/sub dynamic and keep the connection strong.

[subjoe101]

I have a morning and night ritual that help to keep me in a submissive mindset and help me stay focused on my Goddess wife's needs.  Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is put on a collar. I make coffee and then when my wife wakes up, I serve her the coffee and tell her that I am excited to serve her and I ask if there is anything she needs me to do.  After she is done her coffee I am allowed to remove the collar.  In the evening, when she is ready to take a bath or shower, she we let me know. I will follow her upstairs and then I kneel in the corner of the bedroom naked while she showers or takes a bath. I remain in the corner until she dismisses me. Then I ask if there is anything she needs me to do before she goes to bed.

[thefootslut]

On 10/18/2025 at 3:15 AM, subjoe101 said:

I have a morning and night ritual that help to keep me in a submissive mindset and help me stay focused on my Goddess wife's needs.  Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is put on a collar. I make coffee and then when my wife wakes up, I serve her the coffee and tell her that I am excited to serve her and I ask if there is anything she needs me to do.  After she is done her coffee I am allowed to remove the collar.  In the evening, when she is ready to take a bath or shower, she we let me know. I will follow her upstairs and then I kneel in the corner of the bedroom naked while she showers or takes a bath. I remain in the corner until she dismisses me. Then I ask if there is anything she needs me to do before she goes to bed.

Love this! Really simple, but the perfect ritual. Has it changed at all, or have you talked about adding more to it?

[subjoe101]

It's been in place for a few months now. Nothing has changed. It is simple and very impactful.