Asking singles about online dating

[os****]

How has online dating changed since 2014?

[Ro****]

So internet sp*eds have gone up X10 fold in the last decade so clearly that translates to X10 more dates right? This is what you call sp*ed dating 😅

[Li****]

For casual stuff, it's arguably better assuming you have enough patience and can take a lot of passive rejection. The average woman gets way too many matches and contacts to really consider each of them fully.

If you're looking for something serious, I still believe real life is the place for that. I work with data and did some work for some of the apps and - well, it makes for bleak reading. I won't say they never work, but they are FAR from a good or emotionally healthy way to find a long term relationship.

[my****]

I’ve been online dating since 99. The progression went from text based large geographical area to almost entirely picture/stats based pinpoint area. It’s gone from a website or two to dozens of apps. From a well thought out message to shotgun approach or numbers game.

[Mi****]

you want the positive or negative changes?

[ri****]

Oh boyyy

Yeah dude online dating has been rigged pay to play. In 2014 I was unstoppable, 2025 its pay all this *** and your account is still shadowed. Its been exposed on several podcasts and its flat out sad. I only downloaded this because a friend suggested it and its like 3 days until my account will be hidden because I refuse to pay

[Deleted Member]

Massively. I'm only single recently and my god.. just mayham.. nothing but f*ck boys and time wasters who can't have a conversation if ure not willing to suck their d*ck.

[Bryson25]

More expensive memberships/premium to talk mostly to bots or fishers that only try and get you to spend more *** or promote their OF or escort services.

[wl****]

If your not in shape there's a low success rate. Because now your competing with all the gym rats. So take good care of yourself or get left behind.

[Li****]

11 minutes ago, wlscasey said:

If your not in shape there's a low success rate. Because now your competing with all the gym rats. So take good care of yourself or get left behind.

Facts.

[Mi****]

1 hour ago, Trinity2025 said:

Massively. I'm only single recently and my god.. just mayham.. nothing but f*ck boys and time wasters who can't have a conversation if ure not willing to suck their d*ck.

very sad to read that 😕

[Deleted Member]

Not sure about back in the day, but now it's disheartening. Men are lazy about writing their profiles blatantly using AI. They only list what they want from a woman and not what they can offer (not talking about finances). They don't understand the dangers that women risk with meeting up with strangers on the Internet. Even when you give them your phone number they ghost you. And worse of all they don't know how to plan a date so it never goes anywhere - I'm sooo tired of meeting up for coffee.
In the two years I have been using the apps I've had one good match who took me to a restaurant for a first date, was emotionally available and actually wanted to start a relationship - sadly he moved out of state for a job so we ended amicably. Knowing that possibility exists is why I stay on the apps, but am considering in person events as well bc apparently s***d dating is making a comeback.
That's been my experience with the standard vanilla sites. I like this app and for the most part have met some good guys. People here are more honest and (for the most part) the underlying rule of consent gives me a sense of safety. Not everything works out, I've messed up a few times but I am still learning about the lifestyle so I'm giving myself a learning curve.
Good luck to you!

[Xa****]

It's only gotten worse as every app has moved to try and nickel and dime EVERYONE out of every penny they have for "features" that used to be standard in the base app. On top of specifically showing you people who are not real, are spam/bot/bait accounts to keep people under the impression there are more people in the local area than there really are, completely misleading people they are already financially ripping off by convincing them they have to have the upgraded versions of the app to have any actual chance at dating success. And every single dating app out there does this.

[sl****]

Online dating has gone down. To many girls just want you to join there only fans account. Or they will say can you send me *** for gas. Then you try to say ill drive out there and then they stop talking. Alot of scams out there. Not even sure how many people are real any more

[Fi****]

Yes. Drastically. Back around then it was easy to at least meet people. Now they say they’re not comfortable meeting. But will show you anything.

[dr****]

Fet tells me I'm 8321 in my town. And there's only 2000 in my town

[Deleted Member]

Men have become mature enough not to be taken advantage of by *** hungry chicks. They value their time and assets.
On the other hand, women are no longer in their prime and instead of looking for short term fun, looking for a man with testosterone.
Therefore, everyone is single.

[ey****]

My experiences.

I was initially online dating around 2001.  It was difficult and mostly text based.  Didn't really get much of the "just pay me" but then also a lot of conversations were on email and fizzled out.  I did have an erotic story exchange going with someone which was hot as fuck, but I never heard back from them again after replying with one with a "I hope we can do this in person one day"

There were men posing as women to cybersex and then being "ha, gotchya!" with the other person - and for the chat rooms at the time, any woman stepping in was often immediately swamped.

Stuff like fetish clubs, dungeons, etc existed but weren't as well advertised so I seem to recall the lack of options did pique more responses.  

There were occassionally people who tried to get you off site - and that was to a site where they could "share pics" and there was a credit card sign up (yes, you need to sign up but it's a trial so cancel it immediately) and it was just a card phishing scam

I then met someone, on a night out - and they became my first wife.

Late 2000s, maybe 2007 or 2008 - I tried again - and it was STILL basic profiles and more text based - and going through the site (adultfriendfinder) a lot of people who had clearly never logged in for a long time.   I did get a response but we met up and didn't vibe.  

anyhow, I did meet someone else via more organic route who became (and still is) my second wife.   

We joined Fetlife in 2013 and of course have been there since, and I joined here a fair few years ago (2018? 2017?) and there's a lot we saw from the early fetlife days, before we discussed and moved to an ENM situation.   

Now, a lot of dating sites I just didn't bother with - but I can tell you a lot of the moans NOW were moans in 2013.  People selling. People less likely to jump and meet people, or even chat, without good reason.  Stuff like munches, events, etc far more accessible and a lot of people finding that the sites worked as a supplement to them going to events, rather than a replacement

Now people might bitch about "trying to get people to go to OF" - but at least if you do, they're verified on there - 2013 it was all sorts of different more "send me gift card if you want to chat" - and a lot of other different scams and swizzes were quite common

The "Kinky Coves" scam (which is still one today) i,e, "i'll play with you all night - just book this dungeon....." has been in action for around that time if longer - ditto for assorted "BDSM council" and "buy me out my contract" scams

 

[Pe****]

It feels like it was about dating and relationships but has become about taking advantage of others. What was free basic service is now an expensive pay for access. You got the vast majority of straight women going after the same few men who just want to pump n dump. You got a bunch of girls trying to make *** with scams or OF. You got men and women just looking for hookups but lying about wanting more to get what they want. Men feel ignored. Women feel overwhelmed. Men feel like women just want ***. Women feel like men just want s*x. Every average person feels like they're wasting their time.
.
None of this is to say it was perfect back in the day. Even back when it was better, it was still misused by people lying about who they are and/or using old/fake profile pics.

[Wi****]

I'm not sure how it was in 2014, honestly, since I'm only 28. I've been attempting to find a date only for 4 years. Before that, I had a gf for 4 years. And then I'm not sure how long before that I attempted it.
Sometimes I'll find someone to chat with, maybe it lasts a day, a couple of days, a couple of weeks, rarely a couple of months. But since I never match with people nearby, it's basically impossible to meet as I only travel for medical appointments or important gatherings. I can't drive either, so that further complicates things.

TLDR: I lack online dating experience since people nearby don't have interest in a cripple

[ho****]

I hate it. Feels like one giant scam.

[Da****]

Shit ton of bots and fakes, and lots of women looking for ***. About 90% ive met at least.

[Deleted Member]

Its pointless. Most just post for attention as bots boost egos. If you have a specific niche like this site good luck if you dont look stunning in your pictures because ill take £500 for no replies 🤣😂 gg guys its game over for normal people. Make up and skimpy clothing creates expectation over reality.

[ho****]

Yet we kept going back...

[ey****]

one thing of coure which always gets warped in discussions like this, well, two

Firstly there are folk who maybe had meets/chats 10, 15, 20 years ago on dating sites and finding it harder now. In a lot of cases they do often forget they've aged by those years also. The naive 20 year olds who met you when you were 20 are now clued up 40 year olds, and the naive 20 year olds still think you're a bit old for them

the second is... in a lot of cases - being succesful often ends the spell on a site, so no success stories, becuase they're no longer looking.  So you mostly get perspectives from people who are struggling