Asking singles about online dating

[lokin4sub]

There are a lot more scamers just wanting ***

[ab****]

15 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

one thing of coure which always gets warped in discussions like this, well, two

Firstly there are folk who maybe had meets/chats 10, 15, 20 years ago on dating sites and finding it harder now. In a lot of cases they do often forget they've aged by those years also. The naive 20 year olds who met you when you were 20 are now clued up 40 year olds, and the naive 20 year olds still think you're a bit old for them

the second is... in a lot of cases - being succesful often ends the spell on a site, so no success stories, becuase they're no longer looking.  So you mostly get perspectives from people who are struggling

Im going to firmly disagree as when i was younger the older generation started using dating sites as they just been made. They had alot better experinces essepcially with the idea of "LTR" and basic communication.
Most profiles i see have all the "LTR" "Swingers" "Open realtionships" "non-mongamous" "one night stands"
There polar oppisites...
And dont forget the "men need to stop sending nudes or asking for one night stands"
Both parties are ruining the experince.
Im now just confused but on the outside normal world its easy to make friends and start relationships.

[ey****]

3 hours ago, absurdist said:

Im going to firmly disagree as when i was younger the older generation started using dating sites as they just been made. They had alot better experinces essepcially with the idea of "LTR" and basic communication.

I think around the time online dating in general took off there wasn't quite some of the volume.  If someone was a recently seperated 40/50 year old who wanted to try, they maybe got a handful of recently seperated 40/50 year olds to match with.   And perhaps a little the numbers being more selective led to things being generally less overwhelming.

But then like now, those who were particularly succesful are less likely to be online to tell the stories. 

[nh****]

I think it has. People seem to not have as much personality. And I'm not saying technology is bad by any means whatsoever as, I often utilize and enjoy it, but I think in some of the younger generation there is less personality. And put it bluntly, some have the personality of a doorknob.

[fu****]

There are more scammers but they are just as stupid as they ever were and it can be a lot of fun to string them along and waste their time.

The sites cost *** now, but that's how all of these VC funded apps work. Back then they were just pumping up their user numbers to draw more capital and now they actually need to pay for these damn apps. Why does everyone pretend like this should be free?

Personally, I'm having more fun sexting with strangers than I ever did back in the day.

[ab****]

Yesterday at 09:56 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

I think around the time online dating in general took off there wasn't quite some of the volume.  If someone was a recently seperated 40/50 year old who wanted to try, they maybe got a handful of recently seperated 40/50 year olds to match with.   And perhaps a little the numbers being more selective led to things being generally less overwhelming.

But then like now, those who were particularly succesful are less likely to be online to tell the stories. 

So dating sites are not more than 25 years old.... im older than google. Your time perspective is 40 years off. Most are still are alive and wouldnt go near sites like these let alone "tinder" "bumble".
It started as a website that you could messafe anyone on. Then monotization and "independancy" and what do have.. record highs of loneliness. The numbers speak for themsleves. The highest form of value on the planet is effort. People dont have effort anymore and a confusion to what looks actually = as a person with 0 personality.
Everyone is a 5 until effort is pushed and you become a 10 with someone.

[ey****]

13 hours ago, absurdist said:

So dating sites are not more than 25 years old.... im older than google. Your time perspective is 40 years off. Most are still are alive and wouldnt go near sites like these let alone "tinder" "bumble".

Match launched in 1995 - and wasn't the first dating site.

13 hours ago, absurdist said:

The highest form of value on the planet is effort. People dont have effort anymore

maybe that's the issue.  Guys are just not putting in enough effort any more.  

[ab****]

21 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

maybe that's the issue.  Guys are just not putting in enough effort any more.  

Guys who do put in effort dont get picked and the multitude of men that spam is 50% bots or scams. Its a shame what dating has become with unrealistic "online connection" but the classic to blame men is so cleshay... theres alot of good men that do try and even with my girl mates, when i break down there so called "toxic" or failed relationships its mostly down to bad selection with the classic "its ironic your talking to a good guy yet are blind to even choose me" lol unfortunatly for me it then follows the im kinky and they are not. I do agree that majority have stepped away like alot of my friends thus dating sites have less good men but at the same time women have stepped away leaving a plethura of "non dateable" people navigating a confusing mine field

[ey****]

11 hours ago, absurdist said:

Guys who do put in effort dont get picked

I mean, they do.  Obviously of course you can do "everything right" and still not be of interest to the other person - such is life - but certainly effort gets further than those who don't put in effort or just go for mass slop.

11 hours ago, absurdist said:

dating sites have less good men but at the same time women have stepped away leaving a plethura of "non dateable" people navigating a confusing mine field

I guess the thing is.   Like, if someone is *only* putting their hopes onto dating sites, and not kinda... diversifying... they have eggs in one basket, and often less real world things to bring in.   But if a dating site isn't working, it's folly to keep trying the same way because one of two things is true

(1) The site/system is bad.    In which case, don't use it

(2) The overall approach is bad - from profile, to pics, to interactions, etc.    Which means you either need to rebuck efforts, or if that's too much - don't use it.

Especially if you describe the sites as.... lol.... "non dateable" ?!

 

[ab****]

20 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I guess the thing is.   Like, if someone is *only* putting their hopes onto dating sites, and not kinda... diversifying... they have eggs in one basket, and often less real world things to bring in.   But if a dating site isn't working, it's folly to keep trying the same way because one of two things is true

(1) The site/system is bad.    In which case, don't use it

(2) The overall approach is bad - from profile, to pics, to interactions, etc.    Which means you either need to rebuck efforts, or if that's too much - don't use it.

Especially if you describe the sites as.... lol.... "non dateable" ?!

 

This site technically isnt a dating site, its a bdsm forum that shadows as a dating site.
***d monitisation
Either way your seeming to loop back to "its my fault" after each point has been deconstructed.
I interact with rather a few on here but none want to date.
There is one but the convo is still fresh
The main factor ive found is distance can be a make or break.
Have a good day :)

[Kd****]

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